


Dont Give Away The End

by KrissyG927



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Caryl, Daryl Dixon Smut, Daryl Dixon/Carol Peletier Smut, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, First Love, First Times, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Love Story, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Reunions, Romance, Sexual Tension, True Love, they havent seen each other in years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-07
Updated: 2015-11-21
Packaged: 2018-04-13 09:36:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 59,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4516887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrissyG927/pseuds/KrissyG927
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daryl and Carol meet again after many years apart. AU no ZA.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first story I ever started, finally I have the guts to post it. 
> 
> The title comes from the song 23, by Jimmy Eat World.
> 
> As always I do not own The Walking Dead or any of the Characters but its so fun to play with them.

Don’t Give Away The End

A/N: This has been floating around in my brain forever. The title is from 23 By Jimmy Eat World. 

 

The clanking of silver wear and glasses, patron chatter around them was the usual noise they heard every Wednesday night. For the last eight or nine months on Monday and Wednesday Daryl ate dinner with Merle and Andrea before she started her shift at the local ER. He lived alone so they invited him most times when they came. That way at least two nights they would be sure he didn’t eat alone. A few others he spent with his son, Travis so most nights save for a few he had company. But Travis was getting older and Merle always worried he would soon grow tired of having dinner with his father. He knew though, that Daryl and Travis were building a truck from the chassis up together. It was for Travis, when he was old enough to drive. They saw a lot of each other, Daryl made sure of that since Travis was young. Merle just worried about Daryl, plain and simple.

The diner was one of two in town and since they lived there all their lives they ate there often. The place had great burgers, always did, so why change when you had a good thing going. That was Merle’s policy. They knew everyone there, both customers and staff, it was comfortable. Andrea loved the food as well, she had grown up in the next county, worked at the local hospital.

Merle and Andrea met a year ago when Merle dropped a car battery on his foot and needed stitches. She had been the one to put the six stitches in his foot. Merle made it a point to go back two weeks later on the very same day to get them removed, specifically by Andrea. Daryl asked him once if he knew when he met her that she was the one. Merle had told him, something about her had called to him, so he went back, got his stitches out, and asked her out. The rest was history as they say. Merle had said when you know you know, Daryl got that. He knew how finding the one happened, he had been there once. 

At the age of 42 Merle was settling down with one woman. After years of one night stands, when the need hit him. Daryl was really happy for him. His own marriage had broken up many years ago, but he and his ex were on great terms for the sake of their son. But so far it hadn’t happened for him. He dated a little but never felt anything, no spark with anyone. He knew you had to have a spark, he had learned that the hard way. He was content though living his life. No ups no downs, just a straight line. Day to day, dinner with Merle and Andrea every Monday and Wednesday spending time with his son. Finding a girl in a bar on occasion, but no commitments, life was ok. 

Over the years Merle slowly became less and less of the dick he used to be. He had mellowed out and gotten straight. He finally started growing up, a late bloomer for sure. He had started before her but Andrea had finished the job. He was different, that was a fact, and Daryl gave a lot of that credit to Andrea. He hardly ever had to chase Merle down to come to work anymore, and that was a blessing. If she was the reason, more than a few people hoped she was sticking around.

Beth Greene, who had been a few years behind Daryl in high school, was working this day and she had already taken their order. They all always ordered the same thing anyway, half the time Beth never even wrote it down. Merle had tried hooking her up with Daryl but that hadn’t worked either. It never worked. He worried his brother was going to spend his life alone. He ran his own business, built his own house practically board to nail himself, but he was alone, except for his son, who he adored. Merle felt a little guilty about that. He hadn’t set such a good example, never gave Daryl good advice when they were young. He just wished Daryl would agree to go on a blind date with one of Andrea’s friends, like she had been asking him to, just once. But he always refused, said he was not interested.

At thirty five, Daryl was sure he’d be single forever, he really wasn’t looking. That was fine, Merle had other ideas. He knew now that wasn’t the life no matter how good it looked to an outsider. It was lonely. Now that he had Andrea he understood that.

On this day as they sat in the booth Andrea next to Merle, Daryl opposite them. Merle was reading the paper which he did sometimes. He peered over the paper pushing his horn rimmed glasses up on the bridge of his nose and set the paper down facing Daryl. He was fidgeting as usual, biting his thumbnail, acting uncomfortable. He was always such a fidgety fuck, Merle thought to himself, except at work when he was elbows deep in a car, then he was in his element, happy almost. Almost, because Merle knew he was content but not happy. Happy went by the wayside so to speak, and that was a long time ago. Merle remembered that as he brought up this topic.

“Well looky here baby brother, seems Jim Parker passed, aint that a shame?” He paused for effect. “Funerals Tomorrow…. You know what that means.”

Daryl stared over to him through his bangs. No longer fidgeting with his hands or whatever the fuck he was doing before Merle started this. He was all ears Andrea noticed but he also looked like he had seen a ghost.

“No, Merle, what does that mean??” His tone implied he knew exactly what it meant and exactly where Merle was going with this and was not liking it one bit.

“Don’t play dumb with me Daryl, you know she’s gonna be here to bury her Daddy.”

Andrea turned to Merle, with that look on her face, like she had no idea what he was talking about. She usually picked up on Merle pretty fast, you kind of had to be quick with Merle, but she was missing something here. She could tell, from the way Daryl was giving him the eye over this, it was something Daryl didn’t want to talk about. But Andrea knew Merle, once he started something he didn’t let up. She decided to jump into this conversation, give Daryl a break.

“Who Babe?” Andrea asked.

“Daryl’s ex.”

Daryl let out something between an irritated growl and a sigh. Andrea was really confused now. She knew Daryl’s ex-wife. Her parents were both very much alive. Just what is Merle up to now?

“Karen’s father isn’t dead Merle.”

“No sugar, Karen is Daryl’s ex-wife, but Carol…well, shit….”

Merle decided to go in for the kill, all in, because he had an idea brewing in his head. He was like a dog with a bone. Once he got ahold of something he wasn’t letting it go. He looked right at Daryl and spoke.

“Carol’s the love of his life….isn’t that right, Brother” Merle smiled.

“Shut up Merle.” Daryl was getting pissed. Merle never liked her and Daryl had no idea why he was starting this. Merle had made it very clear on numerous occasions what he thought of her. Why was he bringing her up now?

“That’s ancient history.” Daryl said with an edge to his voice, almost gripping the table Andrea noticed. Merle had rattled his cage on this one. That usually didn’t happen too often any more. Merle worked for him now. The pecking order had changed long ago in their relationship. They had an understanding, no problems anymore and, Merle didn’t usually goad him like this.

“Still, ya ought to pay your respects, the man treated ya like his own son.”

“Merle! I am not crashing a funeral, ‘sides ya know as well as I do, she won’t want to see me.”

Merle looked up and saw Beth coming with their food. Andrea continued to watch the exchange between the brothers. This was very interesting.  
”Aw come on Merle leave him alone.” She set her napkin on her lap as she spoke. “Here’s Beth...”

 

“You of all people know that Merle.” Daryl moved his coke out of the way as Beth set their food down.

“Thanks Daryl” she smiled 

As Beth was setting the food down and getting them ketchup Merle stole a fry from his plate and Andrea thought she heard him mumble something like “Crashing weddings, crashing funerals, same difference, isn’t that how you two roll?” and she giggled a little. Merle was funny when he wanted to be, that was a lot of the attraction for her. He made her laugh. Which she welcomed because her job was sometimes nothing to laugh about. Andrea appreciated laughter in her life. And the man who had brought it to her. 

Daryl was not laughing when he heard what Merle said, he whipped his head around and gave him an even worse look than before. If that was possible at this moment. Andrea noticed he ran his fingers through his hair just then, he only did that when he was super stressed. Damn who was this Carol anyway? Had she crashed Daryl’s wedding? Or did he crash hers? She would have to ask Merle later, if it was one of those dramatic, does anyone object things.  
Seamed so by the looks Daryl was giving Merle.

“How ya’ll doin today?” Beth asked. 

Merle smiled wide.

“Just fine Bethie and you?”

“Great Merle,” she nodded towards Andrea and Daryl “How you two doin?”

“Fine Beth, “Daryl said quickly.

“Just fine honey,” Andrea replied.

“Say Beth, your girl Tara, she still workin down the law office for Michonne Walker?” Merle asked.

Andrea saw Daryl blanch, the color drained right the hell out of his face. Beth snapped her gum and replied not noticing, but Andrea did. Nurses noticed things, Daryl was starting to get more upset.

”Yup, seeing her later today when she gets done at five.” Beth said smiling.

“Thanks Bethie, you say hi to everyone at home for us M’kay?”

“Will do Merle. Andrea, Daryl need anything else before I go?”

“Nah...M good,” Daryl replied but he clearly wasn’t.

Andrea looked over, no he wasn’t good and she didn’t have to be in the medical profession to see that. What was Merle doing?

Merle leaned forward addressing Daryl, taking hold of his burger.

“Here’s what ya do, Tara and Michonne got to know how to reach her, if you don’t have the stones to drive two miles down the road and knock on her door.”

“What for Merle? In case ya forgot, she and I ain’t speaking.” Daryl said, getting more irritated.

“You gotta do this, pay your respects.” Merle argued.

“Ain’t gonna happen” Daryl replied sounding much younger than his 35 years just then. 

Andrea decided it was time to bail Daryl out of this.

“Merle how about a nice fruit basket” Andrea chimed in.

“Andrea,” Merle took her hand and kissed it very sweetly and lovingly twice as he spoke “Love of my life, the best thing to ever happen to me, butt out! He’s got unfinished business with her. Shit brother, it’s like God keeps throwing her on your radar, third times the charm right? If you don’t fuck it up that is, by being you.”

“She’s married, she’s got kids. You know that?” Daryl took a bite of his burger and a sip of his coke.

“You got a kid too big fucking deal, your kid is all you got. No offense because Andrea and I really love having you around, but you aint exactly tearing it up in the romance department. I think you aint over her. Ya need closure or something so ya can move on”

“Closure...huh?” Daryl smiled chuckling darkly. “You do remember what happened, yeah? No one needs any closure from that clusterfuck.” 

Merle turned to Andrea, he wasn’t done with this. They each started on their burgers and drinks.

“He’s exaggerating. It was a….. Lovers Quarrel, that’s all. Carol used to work right here in this diner, when she and baby bro here were in high school ya know, when they weren’t making the googly eyes at each other, Andrea, it was damn sickening,” He laughed as Daryl scowled more. “Couple of lovebirds, they were.”

Andrea smiled trying to picture a young Daryl, with a girlfriend, in love. The picture would not come to mind.

” She’s a nurse now like ya, flies in helicopters or something with sick babies.” Merle said.

“What the fuck Merle, ya been stalking her life or something??” Daryl raised his voice. 

He would never tell Merle he knew all about Carol’s career as a flight nurse, he had seen her brother around and asked after Carol. Abraham Parker was very happy to brag about his sister. Daryl knew all about it, but he wasn’t letting Merle know.

“I hear shit, go pay your respects to Jim. It’s the right thing to do and you know it.” Merle said.

“Weren’t no lovers Quarrel.”

“Daryl, grow a set will ya? You been divorced, what, 12 years”

“13”

“13, even better to prove my point. I ain’t seen or heard of you bein with any girl for any amount of time and we all know it’s not about Karen, so it must be about her.”

“Been raising my son.” he replied, raising his voice more than he meant to. “Been busy.”

“Too busy to get laid even?” Merle asked, “Never mind, it’s like talkin to a brick wall, as per fuckin usual.”

“Ain’t havin this conversation Merle.”

They continued to eat. But Merle wasn’t done on the matter, of course he wasn’t. He had a French fry in his hand as he spoke, waving it around for emphasis.

“Look I admire that you wanted to be there 100% for Travis. I get it, and you done good with your boy. Real good. But there is a problem. Look at you, you’re a fucking wreak just talking about her, go see her, call her, something. What are the odds I would buy a paper today, even see this at all, she would have been in and out of town and you would a never known, missed ya chance.”

“T’s how she’d want it.” Daryl looked across the table at his brother.

“You’re afraid to see her.” Merle challenged staring him down.

Daryl sipped his soda. Glaring at him, not losing eye contact, that’s how you had to be with Merle when he was like this. Daryl learned that years ago when they were kids, you couldn’t back down with Merle or he’d eat you alive.

Dog with a bone.

“Ain’t afraid.” He stared Merle down.

Andrea looked from one brother to the other. She couldn’t remember them ever getting into it like this before. They had their moments but this, this was something on a whole other level. They were about to throw down right in the middle of the diner.

“Stop being a pussy then.” Merle said slowly trying to stare his brother down as well.

Andrea winced at that word. Damn Merle, you had to go there, she thought, sometimes he was a vulgar ass, but she loved him despite that part of him. Daryl took another sip of his coke.

 

“How do ya think her husband gonna like me calling her.” This was not a question, Daryl was trying to get Merle to back the hell off.

“Ya just paying respects, ain’t trying ta fuck her. Jesus this isn’t rocket science. Andrea help me out here.” Merle turned to Andrea.

“Oh now you want my help Merle,” She said chewing her burger. But she was laughing. She was always laughing with him. She swallowed and looked over to Daryl sincerely.” Daryl I think it might be nice to maybe call her since you knew her father and all. “

“See? Andrea’s on board.” He sipped his soda “It’s one phone call, get your karma straightened out, or ya dick either way win, win, am I right?”  
“Merle!!” Andrea’s eyes bugged out.

“Ain’t like that Merle.” His Voice was going up again, and he practically growled.

“Oh ho baby brother it is so like that, I ain’t seen you this hyped up since I don’t know when, it’s like that…. oh yes it is” He was laughing softly pissing Daryl off even more.

Daryl had enough, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a few bills and threw them on the table. He nodded to Andrea and ignored Merle.

“See you later Andrea”

He got up and walked out the door, nodding at Beth who was behind the counter. Merle laughed his cackling laugh and turned to Andrea.

“This is gonna be good sugar, I know my brother, I give him a day, two at the most, and he’ll be lookin for her” He winked at Andrea, “Pass me some ketchup darlin.”

Andrea rolled her eyes, this was the most entertaining dinner she had been to in a long time. She decided right then and there she wanted to meet this Carol, the woman who got slow and steady Daryl Dixon all riled up, because this was a first.


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a flashback to 1993, it was originally a really long chapter and I had to break it up a little.  
> I hope it flows ok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Black by Pearl Jam is significant to this whole story. If a story had a theme song this is it.  
> Music is a big part of my life and I use it a lot in my writing.  
> Also I hope the point of view in this chapter isn't out in left field

A/N: This chapter is a flashback to 1993, the prior chapter took place approx. 2011. I thank you all for hanging in with this story, it’s a true labor of love for me. I hope I pulled it together so it wasn’t too confusing. 

 

All Five Horizons revolved around her soul, as the earth to the sun.  
Now the air I tasted and breathed, has taken a turn………..Black by Pearl Jam

 

2011 Present time.

Daryl drove away from the diner as the sun was setting. It wasn’t that he was afraid to see her, he felt like he owed her such a huge apology that he didn’t think she would see him. 

He wouldn’t blame her either, they had parted under very bad circumstances. But he was older now and part of him knew Merle was right. He needed to make it right but the thing of it was, he didn’t know how.

So as he drove home he came to that intersection, the one he knew so well. If he made a left turn it would lead to Shane’s old house, the house where Glenn grew up and later brought his bride Maggie to live, and Carol’s father’s house. That’s how he had met her all those years ago, because of Glenn. Carol’s brother Abe, lived there now, he knew. If he made the left turn he might feel better, but how would it make her feel? He didn’t want to hurt her again.

He turned right.

This road led to memories, as he drove to the dirt road, past the Greene farm. He followed the dirt road to the end, and parked. He had been here so many times with her, this was their place. It was a dead end that lead directly back to the cornfield of the farm next to the Greene’s. 

The other side was woods. It was quiet, just the sound of cicadas and the occasional critters in the brush. He got out of his truck, pulling an old jacket out of the back seat and went to the bed of the truck.  
He got in and laid down putting the jacket behind his head and watched the sun go down. He lit a cigarette and remembered doing just this same thing with her. They would lay in the back of his truck and talk about their dreams. This was where they planned a life together, looking up at the stars in the clear night sky.

Now he was alone.

He closed his eyes and brought himself back to the first time he had ever seen her. The girl who changed his life. He had just turned seventeen that spring.

 

1993

 

“Really? Carol” Glenn yelled as he was running up to her. “You left with him, I’ve been looking all over the place for you!”

His first night out with his friend’s sister and she was going to get him killed, going off with some guy she meets at the party. Glenn knew him, but still, he had just introduced them like an hour and a half ago, and she’s gone. Glenn was kind of appalled actually, but whatever, she was from New Jersey. They do things differently up there, he supposed. He didn’t know this girl all that well, after all, she had just moved in next door to him three weeks ago. But just the same he was kind of surprised she just up and disappeared on him. He was also scared for his life; her brother, Abraham was a big guy and her father had guns. He didn’t sign up for this, was not in his plan and he was going to handle it right now. What were these two trying to do? And why were they so chummy all of the sudden laughing and knocking shoulders like they grew up together? Which they didn’t. And really Daryl of all people; if there was one guy you’d ever expect to be even talking to a girl it was him. That just wasn’t what he did. He faded into the back ground, smoked and talked to their group of friends, but a girl no one knew, that he just met, No way. Not him. Until tonight of course, just Glenn’s luck.

“Hey we just walked down the store for smokes, no big deal,” Daryl offered to his friend, cigarette dangling out of his mouth, but Glenn wasn’t having any of it. 

He put up one hand to Daryl and grabbed Carol’s hand. As Daryl was lighting his cigarette that they just HAD to walk down the store to get. Unbelievable these two, not like anyone was worried or anything. 

“And licorice, “she waved it up so he could see. “Chocolate.”

“Can I talk to you alone Carol?” he slung an arm around her and half lead her away from their friends, Daryl, Eugene , Rick and Shane who came to watch what promised to be the epic meltdown of 1993. The band didn’t even start yet so this was going to be fine entertainment, till they did. Glenn was kind of the group worry wart. He could come up with five different versions of a situation and always pick out the very worst one to obsess over, every time. His friends from school were used to it and enjoyed the show often, it was just Glenn being Glenn. This girl had no clue the gravity of his paranoia, and they inched closer so they could hear. Joined soon by the girls they all hung with Maggie, Tara, Michonne, Lori and Rosita. They had all grown up together and were within a year of each other in school and almost walking distance to each other’s houses. They were a tight group, and Carol was welcomed in immediately.

“Jeez He’s YOUR friend” she was saying as he stopped and turned to face her. He put a hand on each of her shoulders. She wore a black Hoodie that said “No day but today” on the back of it, a t-shirt and jeans, and black lace up boots. Most of the kids, if not all, were dressed close to the same, jeans and T shirts. Just a night out in someone’s back lot having a bonfire and a few beers, no dress code needed. School was almost out and everyone was itching with summer excitement.

“Look Carol, you’ve been drinking, and you came with me, that makes you my responsibility,” Glenn said to her.

“Pffft, Oh Please I’m a big girl,” And she put her hands on her hips to emphasize just that point.” We just took a walk, three blocks away!!” Glenn was shaking his head their friends were watching from the sidelines, cutting up and laughing. This was maybe better than Rick’s brother and his sucky band. This girl was giving it right back to him. They were all kind of in awe right now. Well one of them was, he watched every move she made every gesture, she wasn’t like the girls from here. Aside from their group of friends, he had no use for the girls around here. He didn’t like giggly, dumbass, quiet girls that acted all shy and stupid, and he liked ones that talked. And boy did she, right now she was giving Glenn an earful, poor bastard, mental note, stay on HER good side Dixon. And, man was she beautiful too. Long dark red hair, flawless skin and she smelled amazing, like the beach, coconuts. She said she was from some beach town up north, in New Jersey.

He had never been out of Georgia, never smelled the beach, but if that was what it smelled like, he couldn’t understand why anyone would ever leave. He couldn’t stop watching her. She was not backing down. Got to love a girl with balls.

“And your brother is bigger and He WILL kick my ass if anything happens to you…….not to mention……Hey” He noticed she wasn’t even looking at him anymore.

“Hey Carol.” Glenn said.

But she wasn’t listening she had turned to look at Daryl, with the other group of kids, who was smoking his cigarette, blowing smoke rings, and peeking up at her through his bangs. She smiled broadly at him and he smiled back, she waved to him. “He’s a cutie Glenn, where you been hiding that one anyway?”

“He’s a senior and He works after school and dammit. You just moved here for God sake listen Carol…your father.”

“Isn’t here unless you want to take over the job.”

She was exasperating, he had a good mind to dump her on Dixon just for spite. That fucker started this, everyone was nuts tonight, Glenn was thinking. One party and she decides to pick out someone she didn’t know well and leave with him. Maybe she was crazy? How was Glenn to even know? Daryl was ok but still, do girls usually do that? He never got that lucky that was for sure. Thank God she didn’t get in his truck and take off for parts unknown with him, holy shit how he would ever be able to explain that. 

Daryl was either following after Merle all the time or getting him out of jams, depending on the day. So Glenn wasn’t hiding any one. Daryl just wasn’t around much. Between, school, work and Merle, he was pretty busy. Glenn knew for a fact he almost didn’t make it here tonight, cause of Merle. But he did, and zeroed in on the new girl. Glenn just couldn’t believe it. Daryl wasn’t acting like himself either tonight.

“Out of my way Glenn…the band is gonna start soon, isn’t why we’re here, ya know Rick’s brother’s band. You gotta hear them Carol they’re amazeballs Carol, remember you insisted I come out tonight.”

She bounced from foot to foot, he looked over at Daryl who was watching her intently. This was turning out to be one hell of a party. Usually the girls all went after Shane with his pretty boy good looks, he was kind of a dick though. Glenn guessed she could do worse. Daryl was alright, but still Glenn had to get his point across to her.

“I’m regretting it more and more every minute.” He said straightening his baseball cap.

She rolled her eyes, “Listen I appreciate it, I do, you’re a great friend, truly, but its fine, I’ll be fine, OK? I promise to be good.”

She smiled at him and gave him a tap on the shoulder, “C’mon Glenn live a little, and have some fun.”

“You just can’t take off anytime you want Carol, you don’t know this area, and you don’t KNOW him,” he was incredulous.

“You introduced us, he’s your friend that makes him my friend too, right?” She said brightly.

“Sure Carol, friends.” He laughed.

“Plus he’s in Abe’s grade maybe they know each other, I’m gonna ask him.”

Glenn looked over at Daryl and the rest of the guys. 

“Do not. Leave. Again you got that.”

“I got it, I swear” She put her hand up for emphasis again “Cross my heart” and she did.

‘’I’m not even kidding Carol.”

She nodded and smiled and Glenn wondered if Abe was wrong, was she really depressed. Hard to think of this girl spending all her time locked in her room mourning her mother. She was different than her brother said. When they moved here a few weeks ago Abe had told him that they had lost their mother a few years ago and there had been a problem involving Carol, and that he still worried about her. Abe wanted Glenn to take her around, get her out. He wasn’t looking for a beat down though, because he was pretty sure her brother didn’t have this is mind. She seemed a lot like any other teenage girl he knew, maybe Georgia was agreeing with her. Getting her out of her shell. If she ever had one which he doubted. She was already best buds with Tara and Michonne and it had only been a few weeks. She wasn’t shy at all, obviously. Especially tonight, he knew he should just stop trying to figure girls out. That was his best bet.

“Oh they’re starting Glenn”

The first few Bars of “Heroes” by David Bowie started, her eyes got wide and she took off running to Daryl, her eyes bright and happy her hair bouncing curls around her face and half jumping into him. His arm went around her like he had been doing it a million times and he was smiling, Glenn noted, which you just don’t see every day. That boy doesn’t touch anyone or really allow them to touch him. He doesn’t smile either, he scowls. He had one girlfriend about a year ago and she dumped him, so he kind of stayed away and kept to himself most of the time. Except tonight Glenn thinks to himself, of course, not tonight. All of the sudden tonight he’s a chatty Cathy doll and asking strange girls to walk to the store with him. 

“I love Bowie, Don’t You?”

Daryl hugged her just a little side to side and they both feel it as the song plays that funny feeling you get sometimes. When you meet someone new. She’s new in town he thought to himself, she won’t have heard all the stories and crap about my brother and me. All the shit about my father and mother. She is happy to be away from all the bad memories and feels like her life is starting over, right now in this moment. She feels alive. He took a drag from his cigarette and passed it to her. She took it from him, dragged on it and inhaled deeply. Smiling and laughing like there is nothing in the world better than being there tonight.

“You smoke too?” Glenn yelled playfully.

Glenn followed her shaking his head thinking, he is in big trouble here. Joining their friends, trying to not worry so much. What started as a favor to his friend, was going to end with him staring down the business end of Carol’s father’s shotgun. Before this night was over. But he shrugged, because they were 15. And when you’re 15 the world isn’t scary at all. When you’re 15 the possibilities of just one night can make you dizzy with anticipation and excitement. When you’re 15 everything is yours, at your fingertips. And nothing can hurt you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you for reading, leaving Kudos and Reviewing. You make my day :)


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl continues his walk down memory lane.  
> Summer of 1993 the night that he and Carol met.  
> There aren't many more time jumps, thank you for hanging in with me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who commented and left kudos. That makes me so happy. As always I don't own The Walking Dead or its Characters, I just like to play with them.

Later they all sat around the bonfire. The fire was crackling and illuminating everyone in a soft glow. The only other glow came from the full moon that was over their heads and the ends of the cigarettes from the smokers. A radio played in the distance that was rigged in the window of Lori’s kitchen. It might have been romantic if any of these kids were inclined that way. They had all grown up together and were just starting to notice each other in new ways. 

Lori and Rick in particular, who went to kindergarten together, suddenly started to see each other with new eyes. For now they were content to be together. All of them except for Carol had grown up with in a mile of each other, most lived on this block. She was happy Glenn brought her and helped her make some friends.

It was still a little cool out in the late evenings. Summer vacation didn’t start yet. But everyone was looking forward to it. Most of them already had summer jobs and Daryl already worked after school at a garage owned by Tyreese Williams. He would have a job there for the summer and after he graduated. He had to have a job, since his father disappeared earlier this year. Merle was in and out of jail, and Daryl had a lot of responsibility.

Carol sat next to Daryl on one of the logs that were set up around the fire pit. Lori and Rick across from them. Shane, Eugene, Tara and Michonne on the other side. Glenn sat on the other side of Daryl, Maggie was next to him.

“Daryl show me those smoke rings again that’s the coolest shit ever, where’d you learn that?” Carol asked.

He inhaled and did it again and she watched like she had never seen it before.

“M’ brother taught me.” He said.

“That’s the coolest thing ever.” She said, as Lori walked past her to go to the cooler.

“You don’t get out much do ya?” Glenn laughed, and Daryl leaned over giving him a funny look.

Daryl’s hand was so close to hers but he wouldn’t touch it. Not once, and she looked at their hands a few times, they never moved. She kept her hand a fingers breath from his on the log they sat on together like an invitation. She wanted him to hold her hand. He was shy with touching she noticed, he had no problem asking her to go walk to the store, letting her hug him. But he could not initiate any physical contact with her. She didn’t know he was a nervous wreck. She was too though, but she was trying not to let fear hold her back any more. He liked her, she could tell, but it made her nervous, also. So she did what she always does when she starts to get nervous, she talked about random things.

“I think Eddie Vedder got his heart broken.” Carol said, her voice sounding miserable.

He turned to her. His eyes were so blue under that blonde hair. She wanted to stare at them all night but that was creepy. So she kept talking, looking away from him and his eyes that can make you feel drunk when you’re stone cold sober.

“Who?” Lori chimes in sitting down next to Rick Handing him a beer.

“This song it’s Black by Pearl Jam, he’s the singer, listen to the words it’s so sad.” Carol replied.

She shivered next to him. Pulled her hoodie up over her shoulders. He watched every move she made.

“Carol until tonight half of us didn’t even know what this song was.” Glenn said to her. “We usually listen to a different station.”

“Well it’s so, so sad, and awful, and I love it.”

“You’re a weirdo.” Daryl knocked her in the shoulder with his, just to let her know he didn’t really think that.

“Seriously though, you can hear his pain in this song, gives me goosebumps every time, the bad kind. It feels like someone just walked over my grave. Gimmie a smoke Daryl.” She reached for the pack and he held it away from her, just out of her reach. She made another move to grab it. “Come on need it for Eddie’s grand finale.”

He nodded as he lit up, took a drag and handed it to her, and listened to the words. Daryl watched her arms looking for goosebumps, while Eddie sang on the radio.

I know someday you’ll have a beautiful life, I know you will be a sun. In somebody else’s sky, but why, why, why can’t it be mineeeeeeee.

Daryl watched as she shuddered and there they were, goosebumps she wasn’t lying. He wanted to touch her arm right then, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He wanted to comfort her, this was so new, and he had zip experience with girls. His one and only relationship with another girl ended, when she decided to date Shane instead. He wasn’t mad at Shane though, not really, he wasn’t even mad at the girl, he hadn’t really liked her all that much. But this girl? He liked her and he didn’t know what the hell to do.

 

“God, doesn’t it just break your heart, he’s in agony, he loves her and she’s with someone else, that’s got to be the worst feeling in the world. I don’t ever wanna feel that way.” Carol shivered again, rubbing her hands over her arms.

“Thanks for pointing that out, now we’re all depressed” Tara said “Told ya this station was a bad idea.”

 

“Ok what do ya’ll like “Carol smiled saying her best southern accent “Country right, I’m sure.”

Shane piped up “Skynard, Allman Brothers.”

“Ted Nugent” from Daryl. “Lots of stuff.”

“Ok I can deal with it, I like a little Gimme Three Steps, Freebird, Statesboro Blues, all that, but Daryl” she turned just to him. “You have to get with the program, a little Pearl Jam and Smashing Pumpkins wouldn’t hurt you at all, Ted Nugent? Pfffttt” But she smiled so sweet to him he couldn’t get mad and he decided right there, he liked this girl, crappy music taste or not, they could work with that and she was cute.

“You guys like Aerosmith, my Mom took me to see them like seven times, her favorite, imagine me at the age of three, on my Daddy’s shoulders, rockin out to Draw the Line throwing up horns and all” Carol said.

And she demonstrated, cigarette dangling from her lips and Daryl couldn’t stop looking at that. At her eyes, her hair, her lips, Oh I am so fucked he thought to himself. She’s the most beautiful girl here, and she was with him. Well, kind of, if things worked out. For once in his life he wanted something good, he wanted her. He was hopeful, the girls in their group were just friends and he did want more with someone, if he was honest about it with himself. He just hadn’t met anyone he was interested in making the effort to get to know, until tonight.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

They all walked each other home in a group that night, Daryl hung back talking to Glenn and Carol behind the rest. Rick and Daryl lived on the other end of the one mile street so they were leaving first before Carol, Glenn and Shane and Lori. Michonne lived in town and so did Tara and Rosita. They were with Maggie. Maggie lived on a huge farm a few miles up the road, with her father and younger sister. She was driving and had already left, giving rides to the others who needed one. Maggie was always the designated driver, she didn’t drink. Her father had a problem with alcohol and Maggie had grown up going to AA meetings, listening to her father speak there, so she chose not to drink at all.

“I’m impressed that you all walked instead of driving, I just wanted to say that guys” Carol said to all of them.

“We always walk, no reason not to.” Rick said.

“Should never drink and drive.” Daryl replied

She was digging in her backpack and pulled out a pen. She walked over to Daryl took hold of his hand and wrote her phone number on his forearm, he had great arms. Not like someone who worked out, but someone who worked with their hands for a living and she liked that. She was an arm girl, arms and shoulders and he had both going on here, she noted as she looked up at him, thinking to herself, for once things are going my way. And then she smiled at him, like he was the only person there. He had never had a girl do that before, make him feel special like that. It felt so good.

“Why don’t you call me, and tomorrow and we can go hang out by the pond for a while. I hear that’s the thing to do around here” She looked up at him. “Or whatever you want to do.”

“Sure” he nodded and stood there not quite sure what to do. She sensed his feeling, and added.

“That’s my room phone, no one answers but me.”

“C’mon man we got a long walk. “Rick interrupted 

“M’kay see you tomorrow Carol…night” Daryl said.

He turned in that way that people do, slowly like he wanted to say more but couldn’t, do more, like kiss her goodnight, but everyone was there.

“See you tomorrow.” She said to him and he nodded.

“Night, Glenn, Shane.” Daryl said.

Shane waved as he was walking away with Lori.

She started to walk with Glenn in the opposite direction from the others. Shane was ahead of them, walking Lori back to her house, which was across the street and one house over from Glenn’s.

“Wow Carol.” Glenn laughed.

She looked at him sideways laughing.

“What??” She laughed.

“You just picked up my friend, I don’t know how I feel about that...”

She shrugged “Don’t feel any way about it, it’s between me and him.”

He turned to her. “And everyone who was at the party.”

“I don’t care, I’m done being sad.”

“Good, your brother was worried.”

“He doesn’t need to be”

They stopped in front of her house “GIenn, look I know my brother told you, I’m not gonna be like that again, no matter what happens, I’m done feeling sorry for myself, thanks for taking me tonight, I had so much fun and I’m sorry I worried you.”

“It’s ok, Daryl. He’s alright. I’ve known him since grammar school, he’s a good guy.”

“Good to know, I knew that though,” she smiled. “I would have never went with him otherwise,”

They reached her house and said good night, Glenn watched her walk inside, and shook his head smiling before he started to his house. Shane waved as he went back his house on the other side of Glenn’s. He noticed Shane staring across the street at Lori’s house.

Daryl didn’t wait until the next day to call her. He called her as soon as he got home. He didn’t want to wait.

She had told him the phone was in her room so it wouldn’t wake up her brother or the notorious Jimmy Parker, her father. The one with all the guns. So nothing to worry about except his heart that was about to beat out of his chest right now. 

He felt short of breath, like he had run all the way home. It felt so weird, but not bad. He had said he called her because he was afraid the number would wash off in the shower, but really he could have written it down. He actually did write it down, it was right now in the nightstand next to his bed; he didn’t want Merle to find it. He wanted to talk to her some more, it had been a nice night but a short one. He usually didn’t want to talk to girls, they were foreign creatures, a little scary and he felt like he didn’t really know what he was doing in that department. One girlfriend in his whole life, a few drunk hook ups and he was seventeen already. But something about this girl drew him in from the minute they were introduced. Why the hell else would he have been so bold to ask her to walk to the store. That wasn’t him, he was a loner. He did it and had no memory of thinking about it first, and the words just tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them. And they went like it was nothing and they had been doing it all their lives. 

She talked and got him to talk, until Glenn’s hissy fit of course. It hadn’t been enough for him, he wanted more. 

So for another hour and a half after they talked about music some more. She was liking the new alternative things that were coming out of Seattle right now and he liked his country or classic rock like his brother listened to. They talked about their brothers too, Daryl did know Abe, and they had US History together. Daryl described Merle as an acquired taste and she laughed at that and said she wasn’t afraid of anybody. 

She had already lived through the worst thing that could happen to a girl almost sixteen and, he understood that all too well. It was the worst thing, to lose a parent, at this point in her life. Maybe one day there would be worse things that would happen to her, but not now. He had lost both; it was just him and Merle, who was seven years older than him.

Her brother was very over protective, Daryl would find that out soon enough .That was something they had in common, Merle fancied himself Daryl’s protector, but they didn’t talk about that this night. They talked about the kind of things you talked about when you were a little shy and a little nervous. Getting to know someone for the first time. Safe things, easy things. What’s your fav song? Are you reading the AP English book? (Catcher in the Rye, they were and they both hated it). What do you do for fun around here? 

Daryl was smart and well read. He had a copy of Lord of the Rings sitting on his nightstand as a matter of fact and he was halfway through it. Carol hadn’t read it yet, so he told her a little bit about it. 

She already loved talking to him, he was not a stupid guy and could carry on a conversation with her about almost anything. He didn’t like Kandinsky but said Van Gough was ok. Liking Van Gough carried a lot of weight with Carol, he was her favorite. His favorite was Monet, because of all the landscape type paintings in his body of work. No one at home had taught Daryl this, he learned it school or on his own. Carol’s mother made sure she knew about Art, taking her to museums, concerts and Broadway Shows. She missed her but it felt so good to talk about these things with someone again besides Abe.

She told him about her irrational fear of clowns and he was laughing because right before that she had told him how much she loved horror movies.

They talked more about music, one of her favorite pastimes. And so he now knew she would listen to some country music as long as he was willing to listen to some of her stuff. Her favorite song was Tonight, Tonight by The Smashing Pumpkins and his was US Blues by The Grateful Dead. They talked well into the summer night, before they knew it was almost two am. Before they hung up she told him she was really glad they met and that he called her. When he turned out his light he was smiling.

She rolled over in bed after they hung up, fluffed her pillows and laid down with a contented sigh. She had wanted to move, the memories in New Jersey had been too much to bear. He father was from Georgia. He had decided it was as good a place as any to try and start over with his kids. She was happy, she was feeling hopeful again. Not just because she had met a boy, although that helped tremendously. Daryl didn’t know who “The Smiths” were but he had those blue eyes a girl could get lost in. You had to compromise with people sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you for reading. xx


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More song Lyrics for you. Really they are because I love them. Thanks for dealing with it.
> 
> All the love gone bad, turned my world to black,  
> Tattooed all I see, all that I am, all I'll be.  
> Pearl Jam
> 
> This is present day, two days after Merle showed Daryl Carol's fathers death announcement in the paper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter gave me fits, I couldn't get it worked out in my head. It was a struggle, and finally I just said I'm going to post it, because it has to happen before this can move forward, and it has to move forward.
> 
> This is after Daryl took the drive and came to the fork in the road, and after he took the walk down memory lane.

 

Tara hung up the phone and turned around at her desk opening a file that was there. Beth had already called her at work earlier to say something was up with the Dixon’s and that Merle was looking for her. Beth didn’t know what, or why he was asking about her though. Whatever, Tara had no issue with Merle, she saw him from time to time around town. 

They knew each other through Daryl, who had been in Tara’s class with Michonne and Carol. He actually defended her one day a few years ago at the garage. She had been in to have her car looked at by him or Daryl, and that homophobe Tony Spinelli, who used to drive the parts delivery car called her a dyke. Merle didn’t even hesitate, punched him right in the face and Daryl had fired Tony on the spot. 

Merle was ok as far as Tara was concerned. 

But she hadn’t seen him in a while though. Not since his last brush with the law sent him looking for help from her and Michonne. He never changed. She would have recognized him anywhere as he came walking into the office. Merle Dixon was one of a kind, larger than life. She quietly leaned into the intercom “Heads up ‘Chonne Merle Dixon’s here.”

“Well, Merle Dixon as I live and breathe.” She batted her eyes at him and smiled. “How ya doing.”

“Awe ya flirting with me Tara? Imma tell your girlfriend, I just saw her, few hours ago.” He said, smiling at her.

“Nu uh, just charming a new client, what’s up, ya in need of MIchonne’s legal services again?”

He sat on the corner of her desk. Cocky bastard that he was, leaning over to her. He was here for e reason that much was clear. But what that was Tara didn’t know.

“So happens I don’t I’m on the straight and narrow now Miss Tara.” He said.

“Is that so?” Tara feigned surprise.

“Yup, it is so, I’m a new man.”

“That’s great Merle.”

He stared at her for a beat. Then he reached into the candy bowel of gummy bears she kept on her desk and snatched a few.

“So what brings you in then?” Tara asked.

He plopped. Three gummy Bears into his mouth as he leaned his head back.

“My brother been here?” Merle asked.

“Nope I haven’t seen Daryl since my car broke down last time, he towed and fixed it for me. Why?”

She had an Idea where this was going now, her wheels were turning. She connected the dots pretty quickly. Merle was asking about her, Carol’s father had just passed. Carol was in town and Merle obviously found out and was there to stir up something. She sincerely hoped he was here to stir up the right something.

“Heard about New Jersey’s father, I figure she’s in town…..that right.” He said chewing.

Tara looked at him, he knew Carol hated when he called her that. Merle called her New Jersey or Little mouse, neither nickname was appealing to her. He had a nickname for everyone, Darylina for Daryl. Miss Tara, for her, though she had no idea why he called her that. Sometimes he even got away with calling Michonne his Nubian Queen, but not very often. He called Carol New Jersey because that was where she was from, and at one time it was to annoy her. At one time it was his life’s work to annoy Carol.

Now he just wanted to make things right.

Tara looked at him noncommittally, tilting her head. She was listening. Whatever Merle was cooking up, she was all in. Carol’s life was a nightmare beyond belief, she didn’t complain much, but her friends knew. She wasn’t above butting her nose in Carol’s life, it wouldn’t be the first time and probably not the last either. Tara would do just about anything if that’s what it took to get her to do something. Yeah, Tara was all in for whatever Merle had in mind.

“Look ya gotta make sure she sees my brother, goes by the garage or something.” He said.

“And why would she want to do that?” A voice from the other side of the room said, Michonne.

He turned to see Michonne leaning against her doorframe. He long braids hanging down her back and a purple and orange scarf around her head. She had on a Power suit in blue pinstripes and a white shirt. She was always dressed to the nines. Tara turned also.

“He ain’t been right, Michonne, not ever, since she blew outta here.”

She stared at him. Arms folded across her waist, observing him.

“Really….” She let that hang in the air a minute as she walked slowly towards him, her high heels clicking on the floor. “Seems I remember it was your brother who told her to go away and never come back. I believe his exact words were “I don’t want you here.” She said. “He broke her heart. And because of him she’s not here with Tara and I.”

“Always the Lawyer aintcha. “He then changed tactic and really he was going to plead now. Whatever it took, he owed his brother this.” Look, we’re all friends here, right ladies?”

Michonne crooked her eyebrow at him Tara nodded.

“You gotta help me make this right, come on I weren’t nice to her, and I helped drive her away.”

“And what do you think is going to happen?” Michonne asked.

“You both know my brother, always the sweet one, he needs to make things right with her somehow and maybe then he’ll be able to move on with his life, I don’t know, it’s like she was it for him.”

“Yeah Merle she was it alright, as he was dumping her for Karen.”

“Now MIchonne, I think your memory is a little off, that ain’t how it went down and you know it. They was over a long time before her took up with Karen. Maybe she’d like to see him? You don’t know.”

“I’ll think about it”Michonne replied. She wasn’t giving Merle Dixon one inch, not when it came to her best friend.

“Its true Michonne, they parted on less than desirable terms.” She air quoted that part for emphasis and Merle smiled at her, knowing she got it.” I think Carol would want to see him settle her Chakra or her Karma, and all that”

“Really Tara who’s side are you on?” Michonne asked, putting her hands on her hips.

“Carol’s, she’s a grown ass woman, and we don’t even need to be discussing this like she’s twelve and going on her first date. Jeez you two.” Tara turned to Merle “She’s in town for a while, Ed’s not with her, she’s at her Dad’s go ahead and tell Daryl.”

“Give her a little push, how about it? You know how he is, a big baby.” Merle asked.

“No promises.” Michonne deadpanned.

Tara nodded to Merle. Letting him know she was already thinking up some way to get this done.

“Thanks Tara,” He got up tipping an invisible hat “Michonne.”

He turned and started out the door as Beth was coming in, not in her uniform now. Jeans and a t-shirt and sneakers, ready to go out. Swinging her little purse as she walked. Yeah that was embarrassing when Merle tried to get her to date Daryl. Well, for him anyway, Daryl and Beth had a great laugh over it.

“Hey Bethie.” He said.

“Sup, Merle?” Beth replied.

She tapped his hand and he tapped hers in greeting as she walked by and over to Tara’s desk giving her a big smile.

“Hey Babe” Tara said to her smiling as well.

Merle shook his head as he walked out smiling. Beth and Daryl was not one of his better ides, he had not seen that coming at all, and he laughed to himself. He had tried to set his brother up with every women that came across his path. That’s what older brothers were for right?

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Two days later Tara looked up from her files at her desk and saw Daryl lurking in the parking lot across the street by his car. She watched him for twenty minutes with interest. He smoked a cigarette, and then another, he did a little pacing in between. It was some show but it didn’t look like he was going to come in. 

Ten minutes into it she called over to Michonne that this was really pitiful and if he didn’t come in soon she was going out there. Maybe it would start to rain and he’d be forced to come in, but she supposed he might go home just as well. He wasn’t coming in until he finished whatever inner conversation he had going on out there. Finally he started across the street. She reached in her desk as he was walking in. Pulled out a card and started writing on it. As he came to her desk she held it up.

“Here ya go Daryl.”

“What’s this? “He asked taking the card from her.

“Merle was here the other day, been kind of waiting on ya.”

He didn’t answer, just kind of looked at Tara, he couldn’t believe Merle had come here. He was still kind of getting over the fact he was even here doing this crazy thing. Because this was crazy, he had no doubt. Somehow he didn’t have a choice, he thought to himself as he turned the card over, he couldn’t stop thinking of her. There was a phone number on it, Carol’s. He didn’t know if he could call her.

“Look I sent her after you the last time, just returning the favor. “She shrugged, smiling. 

“Yeah, thanks for that.” He laughed.

She had called Carol, when she had heard that Daryl and Karen were getting married. Even though it had been over between them for a long time by then. Tara had hoped it would turn out better than it had, and she was never sorry for telling Carol. That had been the last time they had seen each other. Carol had driven home from school, 14 hours, or something like that. To try one more time to get through to him.

He looked down at the card and back up at Tara.

“Thanks...”He waited then said. “Her husband gonna get pissed, if I call her, ya think? I don’t wanna cause her any problems.”

Tara closed her file and began to stand up.

“I think he’s a dick who couldn’t even be bothered to come home with her and bury her father.” She said.

They were interrupted by the sound of Michonne’s voice coming from her office.

“Is that Daryl out there? Send him in Tara.”

Tara looked over at him sympathetically, and shrugged.

“Boss wants to see ya, I guess ya knew this wasn’t gonna be a walk in the park right?”

“Story of my life Tara.” He smiled.

They bumped fists as he walked into Michonne’s office. Michonne was sitting behind her desk.

“Sit Daryl, make yourself comfortable.”

He sat. The chair actually was comfortable which surprised him since it was a fancy antique straight back chair, expensive for sure. This office was fitting though, for his old friend, she was an excellent lawyer, she deserved it. He Looked at Michonne across the huge Mahogany desk. Here was Carol’s best friend, in protective mode.

“How have you been? I haven’t seen you in a while.” She asked.

“Been alright, Merle hasn’t been in trouble that’s why ya haven’t seen me, he’s got a new girl she helps him do the right thing.”

“Oh” Michonne smiled “That’s good, I’m happy for him.”

“How are you?” He asked.

“I’m good”

“Rick says he’s been seeing a lot of you lately, something goin on with you two?” 

“I don’t think you’re here to discuss Rick and me. “She smiled without going further.

“Nope. I guess not.”

“Look, I’m not going to lie, Daryl, I always thought you got just what you deserved. I’m sorry but she’s my best friend, she was devastated you know that?”

“Yeah I know, it was a big mistake ‘Chonne”

His marriage had been doomed from the start, Michonne and most of their friends had known it. He hadn’t loved Karen, but he felt obligated to her.  
That’s not a good reason to get married, he knew that now. He was sixteen years older now. He understood better how the world worked. Carol had said she understood, all of it, she would have taken him back, helped him raise Travis when he arrived. she would have made room in her heart for his child. They could have worked it out, he knew, but his code wouldn’t let him stop what he had set in motion already. Karen was pregnant and he was going to do the right thing. Period end of story. Plus he had Merle in his ear, at the time he was not a fan of Carol’s. Merle thought Carol was out to change his brother and take him away, he made sure that didn’t happen.

“Biggest mistake o’ my life.”

He looked down and then up at her through his bangs and Michonne thought he looked so vulnerable in that moment. So unsure of what to do. She felt a little sorry for him just then. Just a little, because he had married someone else, had sent her best friend away. Even after he was divorced, he and Karen had been married just a year and a half. Carol still would not come back, not ever. Michonne was angry about that. Seeing Carol a few times a year and daily phone calls was not as good as having her here.

“Do you know how long it took her to get over it? Forget it, you don’t even want to know. Why are you here?” Michonne asked.

“I want to tell her I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?” She said surprise in her voice. “About what exactly?”

“About her Dad, about me and her, about everything.”

“Why, why now?”

“She’s here, I know she hasn’t been back ever. I guess, I feel like I may never get a chance to do it again, I think I have to, she’s living back up north right?.”

“She lives in Philadelphia, yes.”

“So this might be the last time she’s here? It’s now or never, Michonne. I want to apologize to her.”

Michonne considered this, not what she would want, or even Daryl. She thought about Carol, what she would want. She had changed over the years, Carol still had a lot of the fire of her youth, but she was calmer these days. The girl who borrowed a car and drove here to break up Daryl’s wedding didn’t exist anymore, replaced by a more level headed grown up.

“I think she would appreciate that, we’re all grown up now, not kids anymore.”

He smiled slightly.

“Thank God for that right ‘Chonne” He said.

“Maybe she has some things to say to you too.”

“I bet she does,” He nodded “And I guess I’ll take it.”

“You’d be surprised, she’s different, calmer.”

“That’ll be a treat.”

He laughed. So did Michonne. This was true, Carol had been a hot head especially when it came to Daryl. She got in anyone’s face to defend him, even Merle, and at the end she turned that back on him unable to accept what was happening. When it was over between them. It wasn’t an easy break up, for either of them really.

“Look Michonne all I know is I got up on Wednesday morning like it was any other day, going about my business as usual, living my life. Then Merle tells me she’s likely in town, and it’s all I can think about now, took me two days to walk in here, and drove by three times yesterday. I don’t know what but I... “

Michonne eyed him sympathetically. She could see he was being genuine, this whole conversation had shown her. He laid bare his regret without any thought to how it made him look. Michonne considered how much he had also changed.

“I don’t want to upset her or anything” Daryl said softly.

“I don’t think this will upset her, call her” Her voice was soft. “I think she would be glad to hear from you.”

“She may hang up on me.”

“Well, that’s the chance you have to take, but don’t think so” Michonne replied. “She really is different now. “She hoped she wouldn’t hang up on him, you never knew with Carol.  
He put the number in his back pocket. They both stood up to leave the office and walk back out where Tara was.

“Sorry for the third degree, but you know, she’s my best friend.”

“Oh I get it, can’t really blame you.”

He took the card out of his pocket again, looked at it and turned it over in his hand. There was something more he wanted to say to Michonne. He wanted to ask about Carol’s life, if she was happy. He hoped she was, after all they had been to each other he only ever wanted the best for her. Him wanting the best for her was what drove him to end it with her to begin with. 

She had a full ride to that school in New Jersey, he made sure she took it.

He couldn’t bring himself to ask. He put the card back in his pocket.

“Always good to see you two, especially not involving Merle.” Daryl said.

“Yeah we’re glad it’s not about Merle this time.” Michonne smiled.

“Thanks, both of you.”

“Not a problem, Daryl.” Michonne said.

“I’ll call her tonight I think.”

“Good luck with that” Tara piped up as he was going towards the door.

“Yeah. See ya….thanks”

Michonne walked up behind Tara as they watched him cross the street. He lit another cigarette as he got in his car.

“Should we call her?” Tara said.

“No time, look he isn’t starting the car, he’s calling her now.” Michonne pointed across the street.

“She’s gonna kill us.” Tara said.  
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AS always thanks for reading, leaving kudos and reviewing. It makes my day, truly.


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter that I wrote before any of the others. I built the rest of the story around this chapter, and I'm glad its finally here. This story all started when I thought one day, what if Daryl and Carol were high school sweethearts that didn't end up together. What if they met again? How would they feel? What would they be thinking of?
> 
> This is how it always starts with me and why I have around 15 stories chilling on my computer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The words to 23 by Jimmy Eat World (Cause its me and that's what this is named for).
> 
> You'll sit alone forever if you wait for the right time.  
> What are you hoping for, I'm here and now I'm ready.  
> Holding on tight, don't give away the end.  
> The one thing that stays mine.
> 
> I do not own The Walking Dead or any characters much as I want to.  
> The same for Pearl Jam and Jimmy Eat World.

Carol was getting her purse, and a soft cooler with drinks and snacks for the day, while simultaneously trying to get her daughters out the door. Not an easy feat by any means but she was doing it. Yesterday was over and she had promised them, Carol never broke a promise to them ever. She wished her brother, Abraham was home, though, she could have used his help, and this was so strange. She hadn’t been in this house in so long. Being back home felt weird and good all at the same time. This house was full of ghosts, this town, was too. But she had friends here that she had missed. While she was here she could catch up with Tara, Michonne, and Glenn it had been way too long.

The girls didn’t know what to think, they were young still. They were far from home and she was trying to keep them occupied as best she could. They had just buried her father the day before and Abraham and his girlfriend Rosita had to go back to work. She thought a day outside so they could run off all their energy was best for them, and her. They were her sweet girls but full of piss and vinegar just like she had been at their age, before life had its way with her. 

She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, it wasn’t her brother’s ringtone and Ed sure as hell wasn’t calling her. He had every excuse in the book not to come with her, not that she had asked because she didn’t. But he had played his part of dutiful husband, like he always did when people were looking. 

Too many patients to see, I just can’t cancel their surgeries on such short notice. Blah, blah, blah. Truth was he welcomed her being out of town and encouraged her to stay as long as she wanted. 

Catch up with your brother, baby. Take care of any business you need to take care of, honey. The kids are on summer break no need to rush back, stay as long as you need to, darling. 

He was so understanding, when people were looking.

He was having an affair with a Recovery Room nurse and he thought Carol didn’t know, but she did. She wasn’t stupid. So Carol and their three kids out of his way for a few weeks was just what Dr. Peltiere ordered. For himself, because it was always about him. He was probably going to screw her in their bed again. She knew about that too, while she had been on a camping trip with the girls and their Girl Scout troop that she helped lead, with her friend Sasha.

That was the same trip, that after she got done doing the Macarena and Cha Cha slide with the kids, Sasha said to her half joking and half serious. “I don’t know how you could have Marital problems when you shake your ass like that, what’s wrong with him.” Ed simply wasn’t in love with her and nothing would ever change that. Sasha didn’t get it, her life was like a romance novel, and her husband Bob adored her. 

He had brought her into their house. She knew immediately, any women would, that something was off, something had been off for a long time. Off from their first date really, when he had told her to order a salad. But she had been blind, wanting it to work. Tired of dating, not wanting to be a failure again, wanting to have babies. And now she did, three beautiful girls, Sophia age 10, Mika age 8 and Lizzie age 5 and Carol slept on the couch. That night after she smelled another woman’s perfume in her house and every night since, three years eight months now. No, he was not calling her, he was busy.

So she pulled the phone out and looked at the number, she didn’t know it. It wasn’t any of Michonne, Sasha or Tara’s numbers. Glenn was working and generally didn’t call during work hours. Maggie would just walk over from next door if she needed her. Maybe a telemarketer, she didn’t know why, but she answered. 

“Hello.”

“Carol?”

She knew that voice. 

It had been over 15 years since she last heard it, but she remembered. She would never forget his voice. She felt her heart instantly speed up and she willed it to slow down before she had an anxiety attack. That voice reached right out of her past and gripped her heart again, like a vise, the voice of her first and maybe only love. Her mouth went dry and she felt all the air get sucked right out of her lungs, as she almost gasped out loud. She took an incredibly slow and deep breath, then another. She closed her, eyes, just talk to him she thought it’s been long enough and he called you.

“Yes.” 

“Carol, it’s.”

“I know. Daryl.” 

She leaned against the door jam. He sounded older but still his voice, it had that same gravely rasp to it, sexy and dark especially when he was whispering things into her ear. Things he was going to do to her, that they were going to do together. Oh she remembered alright, he had been everything to her. She leaned her head against the door jam and sighed softly. Too soft for him to hear. 

“I heard about ya Dad. M’sorry Carol.” He said.

“Thank….” Her girls ran past her and started to run out the door without her and she was momentarily brought back to earth. She covered the phone so she wasn’t yelling in his ear. “Sophia Ann, Mika Lynne and Lizzie Rose, stop right there” She called after them “I’m sorry my kids are” She sighed, and blew her hair out of her eyes. “Thank you Daryl.”

“Hope its ok I called. I went to see Tara and Michonne, they gave me your number.”

“Yes it’s ok.”

“Ya busy though, bad time?”

“Three girls, under ten” She laughed “Daryl there is no good time, its fine, we were just going down to the pond, you remember. “

She heard him catch his breath, just a little bit, he remembered, of course he did. So did she, they spent a lot of time there when they were young. There were a lot of memories there at the lake, some memories that even now made her blush. So she quickly added, before this got more awkward. 

”It’s just, they’re anxious to get there.”

“Sure t’s how kids are.”

“Yeah. And I’m outnumbered here too.” She laughed softly. “Three against one.”

He didn’t say anything, he was having trouble processing this information. She had kids, a husband. He had heard of course, but it was real now hearing the voices of her girls in the background of their phone call. They were laughing and yelling “Come on Mommy, let’s go” and something was twisting inside him. 

They were supposed to get married, those were supposed to be their children.

But it hadn’t gone that way. He wished he could go back and change it, had wished that for a long time. 

He didn’t want to let her off the phone but he didn’t know what else to say either. He had called to pay respects to her father, but he wanted to talk to her. He guessed that was part of the reason he had gone to see Tara and Michonne for her number. He could have sent a card, or as Andrea suggested, a fruit basket. He hadn’t done that, he had gone to see her two best friends instead. He was right now sitting in his truck outside Michonne’s Law practice, he got right in the truck and dialed before he lost his nerve. How could he call her after fifteen years of silence? Someone he had pushed away, even if he really hadn’t wanted to. Someone he missed every day if he was being honest.

“Daryl, would you be able to call back tonight, I’d really like to talk, later on when they go to bed around ten, would you?” Carol asked, softly, her voice so sweet to his ears.

His mood and voice lightened up tenfold right then. This day was getting better, he thought as he leaned his head back on the headrest of the truck and took a drag from his cigarette.

“Sure, ten…that’d be great.” He said trying not to sound too excited. But he was, he hadn’t even known if she would talk to him and now she was asking him to call her. That was a good sign, the best thing that happened to him in a long time, too.

“Good. I really want to talk to you.”

“I really want to talk to you too Carol.”

“OK ten then bye Daryl, and thanks so much for calling.”

“Bye Carol.”

She hung up the phone, trying to understand what she was feeling. Shocked was not enough of a word for how she felt. She knew he still lived here and she knew he’d probably know her father had passed away, either by mutual friends or the paper, this was not a big town. What shocked her was that he gave a shit. 

She knew that wasn’t fair he would always give a shit about her father. He had been like a father to him at one time and Daryl was not a jerk. They worked on cars together for God’s sake, in this very driveway she was now looking at, as her girls played. Daryl and her father had been two peas in a pod, but she and Daryl were not friends. They hadn’t spoken in many years and that last time was a doozy. They had a horrible fight, both of them saying things that when you’re 20 something and full of emotions you can’t control. When you think things can never be fixed or worked out, she had been mad, and broken hearted. He told her to go away and never come back, and she did exactly that, until now that is. She had never come back, too afraid she would see him or his wife, or God forbid, the pair of them together. She wouldn’t have been able to handle that. Her brother and father would always visit her in Pennsylvania. And she would meet Tara and Michonne various places, as long as it wasn’t Georgia. Ed hated it, her traveling to see them, until, of course he didn’t anymore. 

They hung up with that promise that he would call back that night. The Daryl she knew always kept promises, even when they were harmful to him, he would call. She had to gather her thoughts of what to say, this talk was a long time coming she hoped they both might feel better after wards. She had all day to think it over, which was a good thing because right now her head was a storm of emotion. Maybe she would call Michonne and Tara, maybe get together for dinner to talk this one out, get their opinions. 

She had just lost her beloved father and she still didn’t know what she was going to do not being able to talk to him on the phone every day. She was saddened by that so much, because she had wasted time, because of pride and fear, and her father was gone now. And now her past just came crashing back into her life, much like he had first crashed into it so long ago. She was not unhappy about that if she was going to be honest. Fifteen years was enough time, she was able to look back now and smile instead of cry. His call had been perfectly timed, she was ready to face it now. Maybe he was too.

“Mamma you’re smiling.”

He daughter Sophia was walking back up the stairs to her. The observant one, that was Sophia.

“So I am peanut, so I am.”

“You haven’t smiled in a long time Mamma.” Sophia said, looking up at her.

“Oh come on Soph, you’re exaggerating don’t you think?”

He other daughters walked up, Sophia turned to her younger sisters.

“Mika, Lizzie, don’t you think so too, look, Mamma is smiling.”

“Girls, I missed Uncle Abe and Rosita a lot…maybe I’m happy to be home.”

“Was that Uncle Abe on the phone?” Sophia asked.

“Well, no.”

“Whoever it was, they made you smile. Big.” Mika squeaked in her little five year olds voice.

“C’mon” she rubbed Sophia’s head and shooed them all out the door closing it behind her. “Do you guys want to go swimming or what?”

She walked with her daughter’s down to the pond at the end of her road, past Shane’s old house. She set up her lounge chair and watched her girls go tearing into the water, splashing and playing. 

It was only then that she would let herself think of him. If she turned her head just right she could see him next to her there like they had been once together. On so many sunny days in the summertime. She could see him turning towards her to kiss her, the sun behind him making his eyes look even bluer than they were. She was always lost in his eyes, blue as her beloved ocean. He would look over at her, running his fingers through her hair to push a stray lock behind her ear, leaning closer, she could almost feel it now. They had loved each other deeply, and completely. 

They were a couple of kids but she had always believed it was real. He said it wasn’t, but she always felt like that was Merle talking. Merle did not approve of them, he had made that very clear. But that was a long time ago and she had done a lot of living since then.

She thought it must have been very hard for him to call her, he wasn’t the reach out and touch someone type. For him to call her of all people, must have taken a lot. She was glad, she needed to tell him she was sorry. How to do that she didn’t know, because she had said and done horrible things. They both had because they were young and angry and half out of their minds. She would figure it out though, right now she wanted to think of happy times, of when she was a young girl unspoiled by life and grief, in love with a boy who always brought her chocolate licorice because he knew it was her favorite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you for reading, reviewing and leaving kudos, it makes my day.


	6. six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a flashback in Carol's memory of their first date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You cant ever tell ok." She said. "Promise."

“What no flowers” Carol’s brother, Abe bellowed as he opened the door to Daryl. 

His sister was making friends since they got here. That was a good thing after what happened back in New Jersey. They almost lost her and he was not about to chance that again. Since moving here three or four weeks ago it was like a light switch went on in her, she was happy. They had both made friends with Glenn next door, who went to school with them and introduced her to his friends, and some local girls. 

Carol was making friends after pushing everyone away in the past. Now, this guy was clearly older than her and he drove since he rode a motorcycle over. He was tall and had longish blonde hair that hung in his face like most of them had it now. Abe didn’t care, what he did care about was his little sister. This kid in his cargo pants and black wife beater was fine with Abe because she was not in her room, she was going out like a normal 15 year old should. But he had to mess with him on principle, this was his sister, after all.

Daryl was cool with the banter from her brother, he expected it. He could hear Carol yelling down the stairs something about “Leave him alone and ask him about the new Metallica song” and he was smiling again. She always made him smile. What was with that? They were on the phone last night whispering and laughing for almost an hour and a half, talking about nothing and about everything. He hadn’t stopped smiling since. It was freaking him out a little, but not enough to stop him from seeing her. 

 

Which caused Merle’s radar go up and him to hassle Daryl at the breakfast table that morning.

“What the hell you smiling about?” Merle asked scowling.

“Nothing.” he had replied not trying to get into it with Merle right now. He finished eating in silence but Merle was watching him, assessing him, trying to figure out what was going on with him. Daryl got up and started walking to the door.

“Oh really? Where you going in such a hurry.”

“Going for a ride.”

He followed Daryl out the door and all the way over to his motorcycle.

“It’s Saturday and you’re up before noon. Whatcha got a date”

Daryl didn’t answer, Merle looked him up and down. He was clean and had on his best cloths that didn’t have holes or grease on them. His hair was combed, he was being shady as fuck.

“You do have a date,” He cackled smiling that huge Merle smile. “Well shit little brother, good luck with that.”

Daryl was kick starting his bike as Merle yelled over the engine noise.

“You needing any pointers, you know I know how to make the ladies happy.”

He wiggled his eyebrows and Daryl shook his head.

“If she wants a real man though ya send her my way OK”

Daryl just took off flipping Merle the bird as he left.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////

They had decided he would come over and they could walk down the end of the road to the pond. Then later he was going to take her out on the bike. He expected the father, but was happy to just be dealing with the brother right now. 

“Brought her some more of that licorice she likes.” He said holding up the paper bag in his hand.

Carol’s brother evidently liked that because he clapped Daryl on the back. 

“So kid, My Dad’s at work so you know how this goes right?” 

He was in Daryl’s grade at school, two years ahead of Carol so calling him a kid was a stretch but Daryl was going with it, because Glenn had not lied. Abraham was huge, tall, and weight lifter huge. A big guy, despite them being the same age, Daryl knew this one you didn’t want to make mad. 

“I already know where you live and where you work, thanks to my good friend Glenn, that’s my baby sister, you’ll remember that.”

“I will,” He would have to talk to Glenn about his big mouth. “No problem.”

Then she was there, wearing Jeans and t-shirt that said The Ramones on it, black laced up boots. Looking so beautiful to him, damn he was in deep already. She reached for his hand and started to lead him towards the door.

“Come on Daryl, tell Dad I’ll be back later K Abe” she reached up and hugged her brother goodbye.

“You kids stay out of trouble ya hear. “

She waved over her shoulder without turning around as they walked down the stairs and out the driveway. They started to walk down the dirt road towards the pond at the end of the road that had a dock. All the kids on the road went there according to Glenn. Daryl hung out there sometimes too.

“He’s a little over protective I see.”

“Yeah, he can’t really help it, it’s kind of my fault, when we sit down I’ll tell you why if you want to know.”

“Sure if you want to tell me” he replied.

He wanted to know everything there was to know about this girl, who was so different, more than anyone he had ever met before. The girls here, even though he had grown up with most of them were all the same. He was so bored with that. His group of friends, who weren’t like that were off limits so a new girl was a welcome sight. Carol wore not a stitch of makeup and Daryl loved that, and she talked about everything. She liked to read, they talked about books last night, art, music life, everything.

They reached the dock at the end of her road and sat down at the end. You couldn’t see her house now because the road curved and it was set back towards the woods. Shane’s house was in view but only slightly.

“My mother died and I didn’t take it well, “she looked down at the water “We were so close, she was my best friend, I know that sounds weird.”

“S’not weird, I get it boy do I get it, my Mom’s gone too, in a fire, Dad‘s just gone.”

“Jesus Daryl I’m so sorry” She grabbed his hand. He had lost his mother too, he would understand.

He shrugged “I was little, don’t remember her much, but I miss her, I remember she hugged me a lot, my Dad was not so nice, I don’t miss him at all, It’s Merle who raised me.”

“You’ve been through it too, huh?” She looked at him. “I feel safe telling you. If you want to know.”

“Course, tell me anything you want, I want to know everything.”

Shit, he thought that sounded so creepy, it didn’t seem to bother her though. He really didn’t want to scare her off though by coming on too strong or being weird. This was so hard for him, knowing the right thing to say. He always said the wrong thing, did the wrong thing, sometimes both. 

This was why he avoided girls, but he was drawn to her, as she was to him. But he was on guard because with her he seemed to speak first before his brain was engaged.

“Well” she smiled looking down “You already know what kind of music I like and my favorite books.”

“Yeah and I hope you have better taste in like food and stuff, cause I gotta tell you, not liking it too much, we’re gonna have to compromise a lot on the music.” 

He figured he would be honest, she seemed to appreciate honesty, he could stand some of it but some of it was way too much. He just hoped it wasn’t going to be deal breaker with her or it was the wrong thing to say already. That was his usual routine, putting his foot in his mouth if he was nervous. Which he was right now.

She just smiled.

Apparently he could Say anything to her too. And she wasn’t even mad that he was ranking out her music.

“Well, I never met a pizza I didn’t like and I hate mayonnaise, I also have more than a passing admiration for Harley Quinn, and as far as the music don’t worry you’ll like it soon enough.” She said.

“Ya sure about that.”

She nodded. Looking at him, smiling. “Oh yes.”

“Ya sure of a lot of things aren’t you?”

He stared at her and the air around them changed, his eyes were blue, the color the ocean and the kind she felt herself getting lost in. She grew up on the beach, his eyes were comforting to her. She felt herself being pulled closer, by some force, that she was powerless to stop, she wondered if he felt it too. 

It scared her, and, she willed it to stop. Her stomach was churning with the most delightful sensation of butterflies she had ever felt, she was thrilled and fearful both at the same time. It wouldn’t stop and she felt herself moving closer to him, now staring at his lips, staring at the mole on the side of his upper lip, she wanted to kiss him right there, on the side of his lip. 

She was sure he felt it now too, she watched his eyes dart down to her lips briefly, and then he looked away. She was so relieved, and disappointed all at the same time. She had never felt such an electric current with someone before but for now she was a little glad it was broken. It was too much, she needed to breathe before his eyes pulled her into him entirely. Because it had felt so good, falling into him.

“You’re such a weirdo.” He smiled at her shyly, totally taken off guard by what he had felt too. “Harley Quinn’s bad guy.”

“She’s so badass though, what do you like Dixon?” She said lighting a cigarette and passing the pack to him. He took one out and lit it. They sat there smoking, watching the water.

“Well, I like my bike, and turning wrenches, I don’t like your music or mayonnaise. Pizza is okay too.”

“Good to know, if I need any work done on a car, or want to share lunch with you. When’s your birthday?”

“May 4th, yours?”

“July 3rd.”

He rubbed his hands together like a man on a mission. His eyes lighting up.

“Oh excellent, fireworks for your birthday!” He said.

“Ohhh I heard they’re legal here, can we really do that?” She said excited now. 

“Sure if ya want” He looked over at her and she was nodding. He loved making her happy, being the reason she smiled, he thought to himself, I am so fucked. “Whatever you want.”

“What else, tell me more?”

He shrugged, not really sure what to tell her. No one had ever asked so really he didn’t know. She sensed he was uncomfortable talking about himself.

“No one ever asked me before, can we talk about you instead?” He looked over at her. “Anything you want okay?”

 

“You can’t ever tell OK, promise” She looked up at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)


	7. seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More first date fun :)

Chapter SEVEN  
A/N: Talk of suicidal thoughts, Nine Inch Nails quote  
“Promise.”

“My mom died in a car accident, it wasn’t supposed to happen, the guy was drunk, hit her head on, on her way home from work, she was a nurse, it was like 7 in the morning, who drinks at 7 am?”

It all rushed out, and she was surprised by that because they just met last night, he made her feel safe. He had his share of losses too, she knew that. He would understand her incredible grief and what it had done to her. He wouldn’t judge her, like others had done.

“I missed her so much, I couldn’t stand it, couldn’t.”

He listened nodding his head slightly.

“I started to hide pills, from what we had in the house, my father noticed his Tylenol and Sominex were going missing, I was stashing them away in my room. I was going to take all of them, and they caught me, my brother and my father.”

He looked up at her. “I don’t know what to say, I’m glad they caught you, do you still feel that way?”

He hoped her answer was going to be no. He had enough problems in his life and he really liked her. But he knew he couldn’t take on something like that. How do you even start? He had been ready to kiss her just then, one more second of looking into her eyes, he had been so close to just doing it. He had felt pulled towards her, in a swirling mess of feelings he didn’t even understand. He never felt this way before, now she tells him she was gonna off herself, just great, why was his luck this way with girls. He did not do crazy, he did not want crazy, he had enough of that. Crazy was home at his house. He must have a neon sign on his forehead or something.

“No, I got a lot of counseling, inpatient, for a few months. And then after care.”

She looked over at him and saw no judgment in his eyes, most people started to back away when she told them she had been hospitalized for depression and attempted suicide. That’s why she didn’t tell many people. But he just looked at her like she was the best thing that ever walked this earth. He totally accepted her, no one but her father and brother ever made her feel that way.

“When we moved here, actually before, I made a promise to myself to try, to not let things get to that point again. To ask for help if I feel that way again, to not sink into it and give up.” She said.

He sighed in relief, he knew shit happened and sometimes life got away from you, look at Merle for example. He had a major drug and alcohol problem and didn’t want help. He admired Carol for getting help, even if it was her father and brother who made her. That didn’t really matter, what started her towards recovery, she had made the effort, done the footwork.

“I spent two years in my room deciding if I wanted to die, lost all my friends. Well, I pushed everyone away. But I didn’t really want to or else I would have don’t you think, not hid pills just went and bought them myself?”

“I think so, but you had a plan and that’s pretty serious.” He said.

“I’m better now, happy even, it just took a while.”

“I’m glad.” He said wanting to touch her hand again or hug her. “Want ya to be happy. “

“Ok next subject, something fun ok, Daryl?”

He searched his mind desperately for something to say. This was a heavy conversation, he needed to lighten it up. He was no good at this, but for once he wanted to try. He needed to think of something quick, before she started talking about Nine Inch Nails again, Daryl was never getting behind those guys. 

You could have it all, my empire of dirt, who says that?

And who the hell likes The Joker’s girlfriend, this girl had him intrigued, spellbound. Right now all he wanted to do was kiss her, touch her, but it didn’t seem right after what they just talked about. Why couldn’t he get his mind on something else?

“Want to go on the bike now?” He asked, because he couldn’t think of anything else.

She nodded enthusiastically. 

“You ever been on a bike?”

“Nope. “ She said.

“Ok don’t worry I know what I’m doing.”

“I have no doubt.” She smiled over at him. He fidgeted because he didn’t think of the bike right at that moment when she said that.

He nodded slowly, his brain going a million miles an hour, trying to think of something to say back. Something that didn’t make him sound like a pervert. He wished he was more like Merle, he would be matching her comment for comment right now. But he wasn’t even sure she knew what she was saying anyway. Did she mean to be so suggestive? Or was it him and where his mind kept going?

“Dude, I will try anything once, you’ll see that about me,” She said.

He stood up and helped her up, he was grinning because she had just made it pretty clear he was getting the chance to get to know her better. That was great but she was going to kill him with this stuff she was saying.

“That’s my mother too, she taught me no fear. I think in the end that it was her that stopped me from doing something stupid, looking over me ya know, this is her shirt, I owe my music knowledge to her.”

They walked back to her house talking about much less serious subjects, she was looking for a summer job and he knew of a diner in town that might be hiring, and they would stop there, while out on the bike. He ate lunch there sometimes when he was working at the garage it was a block over. He’d be happy to see his girl during the workday. His girl? She wasn’t, but she was, he didn’t want to think too much about that. He had just met her but there was something going on. He didn’t like the word girlfriend, that hadn’t worked out for him before. He had never really been interested either, not till yesterday.

 

As he started the bike and told her to hold on behind him. She slid forward and put her feet on the pegs. She gripped his arms with her hands. He took her hands and wrapped them around his waist.

“You gotta hang on tight okay, don’t got no sissy bar.”

She nodded, settling in closer to him, he could feel her moving against him. It was making him feel funny, speeding up his heartbeat, he shook his head a little to focus back on what he was doing, revving the bike.

“Don’t let go.” He cautioned.

“I won’t don’t worry.”

As they rode down the road she was laughing and screaming in his ear “Daryl. We’re flying…” 

She wanted to let go and let her arms go over her head, like she was really flying. She didn’t, but she was going to ask him if she could next time. She leaned in closer to him and squeezed her arms around him. He loved that feeling of her arms around him.

She loved this, the freedom she felt on the bike was like a drug. There was nothing quite like it, it was just like she imagined flying to be. She had her arms around his waist and resting her chin on his shoulder he could hear her laughter in his ear. He didn’t think he had ever heard anything so beautiful.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

When they got back they got off the bike and she was smiling and flushed from the air against her face on the ride. Her hair was wild and she was smiling a huge smile as she turned to him laughing. He was running his hand through his hair trying to smooth it back down so he didn’t look like a freak. And trying to calm himself down, the sight of her was making his heart race.

“I loved that”

He felt so glad that he could do that for her, make her smile and give her happiness, however fleeting it might be. In this moment she was, and he had done that for her. He felt like a man, important, maybe for one of the first times in his life. 

They leaned up against the car in the driveway she looked around quickly reaching in her backpack for her cigarettes and lighter.

“Dad’s 65 Mustang, he can’t see us leaning against it. He isn’t home but trust me he would know, he’s obsessed.”

They backed up away from the car and she got out her cigarette and he lit it for her with a lighter he mysteriously produced from his front pocket.

“Don’t really blame him on that, that’s a beauty right there.” He said looking at the car.

“Oh, jeez not you too.”

She rolled her eyes at him. But he was a mechanic, she kind of knew he would appreciate the car.

She took a drag and handed him the pack, he took one out and lit it too. Taking a long pull on it, because now his brain was going there again, as he looked at her, and he really needed to calm down before he grabbed her right there.

“That was so much fun Daryl, thank you.” She said.

“You never rode before huh?”

“Nope, first time, and we are so doing that again, soon” She said laughing.

“Can’t believe you never been on a bike, you leaned when I leaned and everything, I didn’t even tell ya”

“That’s because I was wrapped around you like a vine.” She winked.

There she was again, saying things that got him thinking. He was seventeen after all, it was always in the back of his mind. He had to say something quick before he did something stupid.

“No bikes no fireworks up there in New Jersey? “He ran his hand through his hair again, trying to distract himself. “What did you do for fun?”

“I surfed, of course?”

He shook his head that figured of course she surfed. He wanted to be in the surf right now, nice and cold, maybe that would calm him down.

“Surfing gives you that rush too, gets your blood pumping, we’ll do it sometime.”

“Surfing?” He gulped, his mind was conjuring things, not surfing either, he blinked to clear it away from his thoughts.

“Let’s go again later, I want to fly some more.” She raised her arms up over her head waving them back and forth and spinning around.

He looked at her then, when she stopped spinning. Her voice full of excitement her, her eyes sparkling and her face glowed. He couldn’t stop himself, before he knew it, he threw his cigarette down on the ground and then he was walking towards her. He backed her up against the car, with a boom, and then he was kissing her with every ounce of his soul. 

She dropped her back pack and they both heard it land on the ground, making a thud. But they didn’t stop. Their arms searching for where to go, but he kept kissing her and she returned it. Finally their arms finding where to go on their own. Hands combing through each other’s hair, over their backs, their bodies pressed tightly against each other and against the car. He was kissing her like she was the last drink of water on earth, and he was dying of thirst.

Then he remembered she had told him about the car. Shit, he didn’t even meet her father and he was pretty sure attacking his daughter against his prized Mustang was not a good Idea, not to mention, her brother might be around. It was like a cold shower he desperately needed. He backed off of her, quickly.

“Carol, M’sorry, lost ma mind….”

 

She grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him back towards her their foreheads touching she was smiling and looking into his eyes. He tried to smile back at her.

“I’m sorry, I aint had much luck with this kinda thing before, always fuckin things up” He said.

‘Well your luck’s about to change...”

And that time she kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)


	8. eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some more Flash backs of the beginning and the end. Thanks for hanging in, sorry this is so long. I don't know what happened to me LOL.

A/N: I’m posting this filler chapter to get to the next one, this one also drove me nuts. The next one is also one I imagined way before I started this story. 

As always I love you all, you make my day.

I don’t wanna come back down from this cloud.  
It’s taken me all this time to find out what I need, Yeah. Comedown by Bush

 

The gossip was all around the school on Monday, it spread like wildfire. Carol couldn’t believe it as one by one her friends were asking her about her and Daryl in her front yard. Lori and Rick had driven by on their way to the pond and Lori succeeded in spreading it all over the school. That was one girl Carol didn’t like. She liked every one, usually, but Lori was always up in everybody’s business, it was so annoying. Michonne and Tara laughed as they were walking to class, after getting their books at their lockers.

“Lori said you two were melting the paint off that car like ya’ll were shooting a porno or something”   
Tara said laughing.

Carol turned and looked at them, as they were walking into class. Her face showing the annoyance she felt at Lori’s exaggeration. He mouth dropped open, her eyes grew wide, and she stopped walking.

“Are you kidding me???” She almost yelled.

“Hey don’t kill the messenger, I’m just telling you what the gossip is.” Tara said, shrugging.

 

“Well I don’t like being the subject of it, she needs to mind her own business instead of worrying what   
I’m doing” Carol said as they got to their classroom.

“Agreed, don’t worry by next week it will be someone else to talk about” Tara said as the bell rang. 

Rosita was missing from her usual seat, Carol knew she was probably with her brother and smiled. Tara sat next to Michonne on the other side of Carol, Rosita sat in front of them, but she wasn’t in class yet.

They walked to the back of the room and took their seats, near Rick, Eugene and Shane. Rosita came running in and skidded to her seat and sat down putting her books on her desk in a flurry. Then she turned back to Carol and the rest of them, pigtails flying around her head.

“Carol I heard you banged Daryl on the hood of your father’s car Saturday.” She whispered. “Your brother is so pissed off.”

“I did not bang him on my father’s car” She said too loud, way too loud. Rick, Shane and Eugene turned around and snickered. Carol wanted to sink down in her seat and just die, even the teacher heard her.   
She was making one hell of an impression at this new school.  
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Glenn and Daryl were in vocational school which was across the parking lot from the school proper.   
Sometimes Glenn made it to lunch with everyone, especially if Maggie Greene was going to be there. On this day everyone was there. Rick and Shane, with Lori sitting between them. Maggie, Michonne, Tara sat next to Carol and across respectively.

Daryl rarely came to lunch, so when everyone saw both of them walking across the commons to the outdoor lunch area, it was noticed. Daryl walked with a determination in his step, staring straight ahead at the group at the table. His head was held higher than any of them had ever seen before. It was because of her. She gave him confidence and worth, which he hadn’t had before. He was different already.

His walk was different, he wasn’t slinking around trying not to be noticed anymore. He walked like a man.

“Oh, damn Carol look who it is.” Michonne said, elbowing Carol.

 

“Ya think he heard, he looks mad, holy shit.” Rosita said. “Good going Lori.”

Lori made a face at Rosita and Rosita made an equally as bad one at her.

Carol turned and saw him coming towards her with a purposeful stride. When he reached her he leaned down and kissed her, on the side of her mouth. In front of Rick, Shane, Eugene, the girls and all his friends. She was flabbergasted, actually everyone was.

“Hay, give you a ride home today.” He said in a whisper to her. Which made her hair stand on end on her arms and behind her neck.

She nodded, still unable to believe this was the shy boy she met Saturday night. She looked up at him smiling.   
“M’kay, see you at three.” He smiled at her and kissed her again softly.

He turned and walked away pulling the cigarette out from behind his ear as he left. He smiled as he was putting it in his mouth and heading out for the parking lot where he could sneak a smoke.

“Who the hell was that?” Tara said. To no one in particular.

 

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

There was something on his neck. For a minute he didn’t even remember where he was, then he did. He walked Carol home from the party at Glenn’s field and they had sat and talked on her front porch.   
They were a little lit up and they kissed a little, he remembered that too. But what the fuck, now. Then he opened his eyes. It was a boot, timberland to be exact, steel toe too. Her father, shit, fuck.

 

“Who are you and why are you sleeping on my porch.” The voice of the older man said.

 

Shit, did he have his shotgun that Glenn swore he had? 

One of many actually, to hear him talk of it.

 

“I’m Daryl, from up the street, Glenn and Abe’s friend…..I uh Walked Carol home last night….guess I fell asleep…”

 

“And where is SHE? Praytel”|?”

 

Ok, good no shot gun, be cool. Be cool Daryl he told himself. Just be cool, and maybe you’ll live through this.

 

“I dunno sir…..sleepin I guess.”

 

He was sweating. Her father finally let up the boot.\, and he looked down at the boy on his porch.

 

“You walked her home from next door?” He asked.

 

Daryl sat up. “Um yeah it was late and dark, I wanted to make sure she was safe.”

 

Her father nodded, took out a cigarette and lit it. This kid was ok.

 

“You like cars Son?”

“Uh huh” He nodded.

“You see my mustang out there, come on I’ll show it to you.”

And that was how Daryl met Carol’s father for the first time. He would spend many days in this driveway with this man, from that day on. They both fixed up a car for Carol, which years later still sat in front of the house. They were tight, Carol’s father and Daryl for all the three years he and Carol were together. 

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Oh now feel it coming back again, like a rolling thunder chasing the wind.  
Forces pulling from the center of the earth again. I can feel it.—Lightning Crashes by Live

After they had been seeing each other a few months, and after countless nights parked in his truck on the dirt road. Something about that song playing made them not stop this time. One of them always stopped before they went too far but on this night, they didn’t stop. After spending a long time in the cab of his truck kissing and exploring each other, like they usually did. He asked her if she wanted to move to the bed of the truck, with some blankets he kept for when they all went to the drive in. She nodded her head and so they did. Neither of them knew what they were doing, but they learned together. From that day on they were best friends and lovers with an unbreakable bond.

They thought it would always be that way.

 

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

1994

The first person she thought about every morning when she woke up now was him, and the last person before she closed her eyes at night. Usually they would be talking on the phone long into the night but still, they never ran out of things to talk about. 

She was known to get bored very easily, but not this time. That was new for her, she had dated a bit before she moved to Georgia, but something about this boy made her feel different. He calmed her. She could be having the worst day at school but she’d see him in the senior lot standing by his truck. He would be waiting for her, with the ever present cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He was ready to light as soon as they left school property. 

When she would get to him he would hug her and she’d breathe in his scent, cigarettes, coffee and gasoline. Instantly she would feel her mood change and her body relax, by smelling him. He was her person, and she was his. There was nowhere else she wanted to be except in his truck driving to where ever they were going that day. By his side forever was fine with her.

He let her take over the CD player sometimes, play that crazy music. He didn’t care really, she was with him and that was all that mattered.

 

They hung with their group of friends and even when the different couples connected and parted, Carol and Daryl remained together. They never wanted anyone else and they would be together for three years. 

 

He fixed up the car for her and taught her how to drive it. Which she wasn’t old enough to do yet. Daryl knew most of the cops around because of Merle. They didn’t bother him because he didn’t get into trouble like Merle. So if they saw him and Carol driving down a country road once in a while they knew   
he was showing his girl how to drive a four speed and, they let it go.

 

“How much surfing did you do up there, did you go a lot. “

 

He asked he one day as they were driving home from school. His science class had been discussing the erosion of the shorelines of the east coast. It was a problem all up and down the eastern seaboard. 

Which got him thinking about surfing because Carol had mentioned it a few times in passing.

 

“Every day from April to Octobers, we lived like five blocks from the beach, kind of in my blood. “She said.

They pulled into the dirt road where their spot was and he stopped the truck, leaning over to pull her close to him. Placing a kiss on the top of her head, which he did often

 

“Do you miss it? The beach I mean, aint no beaches near here, maybe someday we could go up to 

Savannah or something.” He said, breathing in her scent, she always smelled like coconuts and fresh air, like he imagine the beach would smell. He wanted to smell a real beach.

 

“I haven’t thought about it much, there’s bad memories there for me so….I don’t think about it much, and, it’s turned out pretty good for me here anyway.” She squeezed his hand.

 

“I’d like to see the beach, I aint ever been out of Georgia…”

 

“Someday we can go, okay?” She said smiling. “Savannah or farther north if you want.”

 

“What do ya want in life Carol...?” He asked.

 

“I duuno....” She said looking at him funny, it wasn’t like him to be so philosophical. “You.”

 

“Never really thought about it, been just making it day to day ya know.” He shrugged. “But I think about it now, cause of you.”

 

“We can figure it out as we go along. Sound good?” She said. ”You and me.” 

 

He smiled over at her. And kissed her hand, that sounded perfect to him.

 

“Yeah, I like that. “ He smiled. “You and me figuring it out.”

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// 

1995

“Come to Mamma” She said.

They were laying on the hood of his truck at the drive in movie with a pizza box between them. Eugene and Tara were on the car next to them.   
Pillows and blankets all around them waiting for the movie to start. It was the end of summer already. Carol was going to be a senior this year, Daryl had graduated the year before and now worked full time at Tyreese’ garage.   
They had been together almost two years by this time. Merle was out of jail and back living with Daryl for now. He worked from time to time, but Daryl acted more like the older sibling. Sometimes Merle and Carol would butt heads. It wasn’t that he didn’t like her, he just thought she had his brother wrapped around her finger, because of what she had between her legs.

No Dixon ever stayed with the same woman for any amount of time and Merle saw no good coming from these two being so serious, at such a young age. He would say things sometimes to Daryl, which he ignored. Until one day he listened, because he loved her and wanted what was best for her. She always came first with him, and he really thought it was best what he was doing.

“I swear Daryl you weren’t lying this is the best pizza I have ever had.” Carol said.

“Told ya” He took a bite from his slice. “I wouldn’t steer you wrong about pizza.”

“Well that’s why I stick with you.” She leaned over and kissed him.

 

“Purely for the food,” Rick piped up. “At least she’s honest Dixon” Taking a bite of his own slice. Handing it to Lori to take a bite.

 

Tara jumped down and came and got a slice. “Lenny extra cheese extra sauce aint nothing better in this world.” 

“I was told when I moved down here there would be no good pizza or bagels, he found me decent pizza, he’s my hero “She replied hoping that she wasn’t embarrassing him too much.   
Shane and Michonne were walking back with drinks and fries from the snack bar. Which they placed on the hood of Rick’s car which was next to Daryl’s truck on the other side.

“I hear New York pizza is the shit though.” Michonne said.

“It is, this is really good though.” Carol said.

“Yeah too bad we have to travel three towns away for it though and two to see a movie, maybe someday we’ll get something besides the diner, no offense Carol” Tara said.

“None taken.” She chewed her pizza happily as Daryl put his arm around her.

“Oh she is infatuated with Dale’s grits over there, gonna get her a sign will work for grits” Daryl hugged her up against his side.

 

“Never had them before…..fuckin A though…you guys can keep that biscuits and gravy though that’s a heart attack on a plate right there.” She said.

“Carol, “Maggie and Glenn came walking over “Here’s your root beer two straws gag me.”

“We like to share, “She smiled and took a sip.

“How cute.” Tara replied, sticking her finger to her throat.

Daryl leaned over to carol, pulling her closer, as they laid on the hood of the car, running his hands up her side. She let out a shiver of pleasure and his eyes sparkled.

“I can’t wait till we’re alone later.” He whispered.

She turned and looked at him. Her eyes bright and full of mischief, she swept the hair that was over his eyes behind his ear and leaned closer. Her lips against his cheek, leaving electric shocks wherever they touched his skin.

‘Whatcha got in mind?” She whispered, her breath hot against his ear, now it was he who was shivering.

“Can’t tell ya gotta show ya.” He said shaking his head. “Still interested?”

She nodded slowly, staring into his eyes, and leaned over to kiss him.

“Always interested.” She said smiling at him.   
He grabbed her and rolled over on top of her briefly and sat up pulling her back against him. Now she was sitting between his legs. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight.

“Get a room you two.” Rick said.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Must be your skin, I’m sinking in,  
Must be for real, cause now I can feel. Glycerine by Bush

 

The movie was over and they parked down at the end of a dirt road, which backed up to a field. They piled the blankets and pillows from the movie in to the bed of his truck and looked up at the clear sky, holding hands. He had no more problems with reaching for her whenever he wanted to now. 

She was his, completely and he knew it, there was no better feeling in the world to him. To belong to someone and have them belong to you. The sky was full of stars and they laid there together looking up at it and listening to music. Talking about their future together. She was applying to colleges both in Georgia and other states, but they knew no matter what they would always be together.

He jumped up when a song they both loved came on, Glycerine, by Bush, he pulled her up and kicked a little spot of the blankets away. He kissed her as he brought his hands up to her face.

“Dance with me sweetheart.” He said twirling her around.

“You dance?” She laughed. 

He shook his head. And she was laughing as they stood in the bed of the truck.

“Nope, but, I think we can handle it.” He pulled her close. “You and me can handle anything.”  
And he pulled her into a slow dance, holding her close. His hands on her hips and the small of her back, she rested her hands on his chest, looking up at him. He leaned down and kissed her again.

She brought her hand up to the necklace and rubbed it between her fingers. He had given it to her for her birthday, just two days ago. He looked down to see what she was doing and saw her touching it. That made him smile, she had said she loved the gift of their initials on a silver chain entwined together,

“Someday it’s going to be a ring.” He said, looking down at her.

And she smiled up at him. Her eyes bright and shining. “I love you so much.”

“I love you Carol.” He said pulling her closer. ‘I’m gonna love you the rest of my life.”  
He held her close and they danced in the back of his truck under the moon thinking they would always be together.

 

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

Summer 1996

 

She chased him out the door in the rain, running past him, ripping the necklace off her neck and running to the pond.   
The wind was whipping around them and it was about to rain. He let out a growl and chased after her.  
It might lightning and he was afraid she’d get hurt, he still loved her, but he knew they couldn’t be together. 

She had a scholarship, a full ride, she had to go. He had just told her it was over, he was done. He wasn’t going to wait for her and he wasn’t going to come visit her either. They were standing in the hallway, where he had first met Abe, the day of their first date, when he told her. 

She knew there was something wrong, he was three hours early for their movie date. Then he told her it was over. He turned to leave and she followed him out the door, pushed him out of the way on the stairs and took off.

 

He had done what Merle said he should do.

Make a clean break so she can concentrate on school.

It was what was best for both of them.

 

Now he was running after her down the street. This was going horribly wrong, very fast.

 

“Go home Daryl, I’m not your problem anymore.”

 

She yelled looking back at him. He caught up to her and grabbed her around the waist trying to stop her. 

 

She turned around in his arms and started hitting his chest.

 

“Get off me you sonofabitch!” She yelled with all the venom she could muster. ”Let go of me!”

 

She pushed away from him, pushing him back with her hands on his chest. He tried to hold her but she caught him off guard.

 

“Go home Daryl!” She screamed.

She ran to the pond and threw the necklace in there. He stood there watching her as the thunder rolled up in the sky. It was going to rain any minute.

 

She started to walk back up towards him. She wasn’t done yet, he knew.

“You fucking coward.” She yelled waving her arms around.

He looked at her and let her scream. He would take it he hurt her he knew. But she would get over it. He would too, because he was hurting too.

He felt like he had just purposefully reached into his own chest and ripped out his own heart.

“We could have worked it out.” She yelled walking past him. “Fuck you Daryl, fuck you for not having any faith in us.”

He had to let her yell, make her think he didn’t care. This was what was best for her.

And she walked back to her house leaving him standing there as it started to rain.

He stared up at her house for a few minutes and then walked to his truck.

She was leaving in three weeks he could make it for three more weeks.

Then she would go on and have the life she deserved, a life that didn’t include him. Merle was right, this was for the best.

 

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Tara picked up the phone by the ladies room in the bar, she moved back and forth from foot to foot as it rang. She was in a jam right now and she couldn’t believe who she was calling. This night was supposed to be fun, a celebration. Now it was going right down the toilet.

Merle picked up finally. “Miss You” By Eric Clapton was playing on the jukebox. He could hear it in the back ground. He didn’t know that was the song Carol had Maggie put on for her.

“Merle its Tara, can I talk to Daryl?” She said.  
“He aint here sugar tits.” Merle answered.  
“Fuck, you know where I can find him, I got a problem here.” Tara said desperately.  
“What’s your problem sweetie?” Merle crooned. “Maybe ole Merle can help ya.”  
“We’re at Dolan’s, with Carol, your buddy Shane is feeding her Kamikazes, I need your brother to come get her.”  
Merle considered this. Daryl was due home from work any minute.  
“And why would he want to do that they aint together anymore.” He asked her.  
“Because she isn’t in her right mind, no thanks to him.” Tara said.  
“She’s a grown woman Tara maybe Shane is just what she needs.”  
“Ok ew.” Tara said. “Come on Merle, if he comes home tell him to come get her.”  
“If I see him.” He replied and Tara was sure he wouldn’t tell Daryl, and she needed his help. Who was going to drag her drunk ass home?

Merle did see him about ten minutes later and true to his word he told him.   
Daryl went into his room and laid down on the bed. He tapped his foot on the foot board on his bed. He paced a little and then laid back down. She was not his problem anymore and he was not going to do this. Let her get drunk with Shane, his nemesis, he didn’t give a rat’s ass what she did. He lit a cigarette and sucked it down in record time.  
After about twenty minutes he got up went out in the hallway slamming his door. 

Merle was laying on the couch.  
“Where ya goin brother.” He said sitting up.  
“Out.”  
He walked out slamming the screen door too and out to his truck.

He drove like a crazy man. This was stupid. He missed her, he missed her like air to breathe. This had been a horrible three weeks. He missed her so damn much.  
He was going to talk to her. He would take her home and in the morning he would beg her for another chance if he had to. Tell her he had made a big mistake.   
How could he have been so stupid to listen to Merle?  
He had to make this right, he couldn’t live without her. He would do whatever he had to.  
They could make it work.

As he pulled up into the parking lot and saw Carol coming out of the bar and Shane behind her with his hand on her ass. They didn’t see him, Shane was all over her and she was letting him. Tara was next to her and behind, was Maggie and Glenn.  
He made a fast U Turn and hauled his ass out of there. Before she saw him, or any of them did.   
She didn’t really love him, not if she could let another guy touch her like that. He felt like a fool. Just like Jenny, the girl who dumped him for Shane all those years ago.  
Shane and Tara had been holding her up,that was all that was going on. If Daryl had waited five seconds he would have seen Carol haul off and smack Shane.  
Shane dropped her and Tara off at her house that night, because he lived next door to her.  
Daryl had already tore out of the parking lot by then.  
Carol left for school three days later.  
They wouldn’t see each other again for two years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I heart you all, thanks for reading.


	9. 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two years later, and a lot has happened to both of them. The last chapter drove me nuts, I hope it wasn't too broken up. It was a hard one to do. But were going to move on now. 
> 
> I heart you all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to break this up into a few small chapters, but it didn't flow right. So here is an extremely long chapter, my apologies.
> 
> She's the one for me  
> She's all I really need.   
> Cause she's the one for me  
> She's my one and only.  
>  Zero by The Smashing Pumpkins

Carol pushed the CD in the player and put the car in reverse. The words of the song she knew by heart started. The song she never wanted to understand or identify with. Her least Favorite of that hunk Eddie Vedder. Damn you Pearl Jam and Eddie especially. But it was fitting, she would listen to it all the way to Georgia. And every other messed up song because that was how she felt since Michonne and Tara’s weekly phone call came that morning. 

It was usually light and fun, friends that missed each other catching up. Talking their lives and school and Carol’s heavy duty class schedule and work study job in the library. They talked about dates and food and music. Girl talk, between three very busy girls.

Tara and Michonne were still in Georgia at Georgia Tech, Michonne Pre Law and Tara Journalism. They were both doing internships locally and working together at one of the local restaurants. Carol of course was at Seaton Hall in New Jersey completing her Masters in Nursing. There was always so much to talk about.

But it was different this morning and Tara had told her sit down and she didn’t, that was her own fault. She didn’t think whatever her friend had to tell her warranted that. 

But here she was on a crazy drive now listening to all those songs. Three words, three words that threw her into this tailspin that had her speeding south now like her life depended on it.

Maybe it did. It felt that way to her.

He’s getting married. And Carol couldn’t breathe, not since she heard those words. 

And now she was crying because those goosebumps all those years ago, every time she heard that song “Black” were an omen and she hadn’t known. She had said she never wanted to feel that way, the way the guy in the song, Eddie had, but she did. She knew exactly how it felt, her world just imploded. The man she loved was marrying somebody else. She loved him and she always would, even if they weren’t together.

I know someday you’ll have a beautiful life, I know you will be a sun.  
In somebody else’s sky but why, why, why can’t it be mine.

The words to the song mocking her as she drove.

She didn’t even know why she was doing this, he wouldn’t see her. Not without a fight anyway.

He didn’t want to be tied down to someone so far away, that’s what he had told her. She smelled Merle behind that, but Daryl wouldn’t listen to her. It had been two years and she thought she was over him, but she wasn’t. Maybe she never would be.

He was moving on, that was all. She should too, only she couldn’t.  
She replayed her conversation with Tara and Michonne in her head as she drove. Queuing up the next song in her playlist of doom, “Bell Bottom Blues”, by Eric Clapton, her mother’s favorite singer. This song would kill her more, because then she could think of her mother and him. Double whammy but she didn’t care. 

Next was “With or without you.” By U2 She was going to torture herself all the way to Georgia.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Listen I have news about Daryl you aren’t gonna like it” Tara had said shhhshing Michonne who was saying something in the back ground at Tara. Something that sounded like ‘don’t tell her’. Carol didn’t want to hear about Daryl. That was a subject they never talked about. They knew that, but then she got scared what if somethings happened?

“Is he alright?” She asked worried now that something happened to him. She never wished him harm, she just didn’t want to talk about him. That was a closed chapter in her life. It needed to stay closed.

“Gimme the phone Tara.” Michonne said.

Michonne and Tara shared the phone ear to ear.

“Carol she’s just being dramatic.” Michonne said. “He’s fine.”

“Ok, then I don’t care what it is. If he’s okay, let’s just drop it.” Carol said sitting down at her kitchen table.

Tara butted right in just then, grabbing the phone from Michonne. She could hear them wrestling over it. Tara won and put the phone back to her ear, lightly pushing Michonne away.

“You need to come here.” Tara said. “Now.”

“What?” she was horrified at that thought.

Carol hadn’t been home in two years. Each summer she volunteered to orient incoming students so she didn’t have to leave school for the summer. Abraham was pissed and so was her father, but she was firm. She couldn’t see him, therefore she couldn’t go home. They came to visit her, they both still had friends up here too anyway. So it wasn’t a big deal.

She was never going to Georgia again.

“You need to tell him, before it’s too late.” Tara said.

“Tell him what.” She said. “What’s going on?”

She cradled the phone at her ear, standing up to get a book off her bookshelf and opening it at the counter, where there were two chairs.

“Tell him how you feel.” Tara implored.

“I don’t feel anything, why would I want to……” A great big lie. 

She closed her eyes because even now at the mention of his name she was feeling her heart race and her breath go out of her lungs. This is why she didn’t want to talk about him. It was such a good feeling when they were together. That breathless, I love you feeling.

But now that feeling filled her with dread. They were over, by his choice and nothing Carol had said or done changed it. She was trying to accept it, it had been a long road for her.

“He’s getting married.” Tara blurted out.

And her knees went weak, she spilled her Iced Tea all over the counter and she couldn’t move as the glass rolled off the counter and crashed on the floor, breaking into a million pieces. 

Just like her heart.

Iced tea seeped onto her book and she just stood there, watching it, the phone in her hand at her side. Finally she sat down then, out of breath. The Tea dripped down onto the floor and she couldn’t make a move to clean it up. Her blood was thundering in her ears.

“Are you there Carol?” Michonne said. “Carol?”

She brought the phone back to her ear. Somehow Michonne had gotten the phone away from Tara.

“Um yeah, I...” She breathed out, feeling like she couldn’t get enough air.

“Are you ok?” Tara asked, leaning back into the phone. 

“I don’t…even know.” She closed her eyes and shook her head slowly. “Listen I gotta go, I’ll call you guys tomorrow.”

They said good bye and as she hung up she heard Michonne say, “Nice work.” to Tara in an annoyed voice. She couldn’t get her breath, her blood wad thundering in her ears. She put her head down in her hands and started to cry.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

This was a bad Idea. She knew it. Maybe her worst idea ever. It was the middle of the night and she was going to miss three classes and a shift at the library.

But it was like that pull she felt towards him all those years ago. She just couldn’t stop herself. And she couldn’t think of anything except that if she didn’t do something she’d be sorry one day. Sorry for not trying one more time.

So she packed a bag, borrowed Sasha’s boyfriend Bob’s Jetta and by eight pm that night she was speeding down Interstate 95 from New Jersey. Listening to every sad song she had in her CD collection.

She thought about them for a while, as she drove, they had met when she was 15, she was 20 now. It had been so sweet, their lives together, she had been so happy. And she knew he was too.

They thought they were going to be together forever. They had been so sure that nothing could keep them apart. Then one day it was all gone.

What the fuck was she doing? 

What did she think was going to happen, was she going to fix it? Take back all the things she said? Forget everything he said? Quit school? Did she think she could stop his wedding?

She had no idea just that she had to go. No one looked at her the way he used to and no one made her feel like he did. No one, and she had tried. She had been out on dates at school, a lot. And they all ended the same way. She felt nothing, even though she wished there was someone who made her feel like she had felt with him. 

Her roommate Sasha had tried fixing her up with everyone she met. No one compared to him, but this was still a bad idea. 

She should turn around while she still could and stop this craziness. She would meet someone too eventually and until then she had a life, a good one. She should be happy, but something was missing. He had been missing for two years. If there was a chance for them, she had to try.

She had to see him one more time. She had to know there was really no hope, she wanted to hear from him that he didn’t want her. Then maybe she would be able to finally move on.

He had told her never to contact him and she never planned to ever go home again. Yet here she was driving like a bat out of hell, chain smoking. Because she had no choice really, once she heard those three words that was it. 

She knew she was going. 

He’s getting married.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

Merle and Shane sat out on the porch drinking a few beers after they got done working on Shane’s car for the greater part of the day. It was hot as hell out that day. Springtime in Georgia was not kind to anyone. At least the porch of Merle and Daryl’s house offered some relief and some shade. Still it was hot and they were ornery because of it. The beer helped. But not much. They were both half lit by now since they had been there all day.

They heard the car before they saw it, the music was blasting, and whoever it was drove like a fiend. Merle stood up from the porch and watched the car barrel around the corner and race up his own driveway, kicking up dirt along the way. He put his hand up to shield his eyes. He didn’t know this car, but then he saw the New Jersey plates. Then he knew who it was. She had found out somehow.

“Well I’ll be damned.” He said smiling to himself.

“Who is it?” Shane asked.

The car stopped and Carol jumped out. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail but it still looked wild, all curly around her face. She had on a black tank top that said Nine Inch Nails on it and a pair of jeans. Her usual black boots too. Merle chuckled as he watched her stomping towards him like she was on a mission. Smoking a cigarette and staring him down as she came closer. She was still a little spitfire, he saw the reason she had his brother all twisted up back in the day.

This was going to be good Merle thought as he sauntered down the stairs and over to her trailed by Shane.

“Hey, Carol, ya looking good.” He crooned and stretched his arms out to her. “How’s about a hug for your ole pal Merle.”

“Right.” She wasn’t hugging that sweaty son of a bitch even if she did like him. Which she didn’t.

She threw her cigarette on the ground and put it out as she approached him. Merle could tell she was all fired up and he sure knew why. He wondered who tipped her off about the wedding on Saturday. Today was Thursday, she just made it with no time to spare. Not that it would matter now.  
She was not amused by him that was clear. Shane walked up behind Merle.

“Hey Carol.” Shane said.

“Hey Shane.” She turned to Merle. “Merle, is he here?” She asked.

“My brother’” He shook his head. “No he isn’t sugartits.” Merle replied.

He had called her that once and Daryl let him know to never say it again. But Daryl wasn’t there at the moment. So Merle saw no need to respect that right now. Plus he wanted to rile her up some more. It would be fun, like old times.

“Really Merle? Couldn’t you come up with something new? Where is he at work?” She asked looking around. Daryl’s motorcycle wasn’t there. This wasn’t going to be easy and she was so tired right now.

“Haven’t seen him all day.” Shane said but she disregarded that.

“Merle I just drove for almost 14 hours, I’m so tired and I am not in a good mood. Is he still at work or what?” Carol said. “Don’t be a dick.”

“Well what’s in it for me?” He smiled, not many women had the balls to call him a dick, and it was almost refreshing.

“Nothing.” She crossed her arms over her stomach and jutted her hip out.

“Well, I don’t think he wants to talk to you.” He said.

“Tough. I have something to say to him. Look I’m going to the garage next anyway, so whatever Merle. Play games with me if you want. It won’t stop me.”

“And you won’t stop him, if that’s what you’re here for cookie. It’s a done deal.” He raised his voice slightly. “My brother is finally taking control of his life, and stepping up to the plate. Doing the right thing. You aint running him anymore, remember”

“What plate?” She asked. Crinkling her face in a cross between confusion and a scowl. “Doing what right thing?”

“Well, you’re gonna have to ask him about that.” Merle said half laughing.

Same old Merle she thought to herself, he would never change. Talking in circles and most of it was bullshit. She was sure Merle was the one behind Daryl breaking up with her. The things Daryl had said, sounded too much like Merle to not be his doing. But she wasn’t here to fight about that today. There was no getting through to Daryl about that anyway, his mind was made up. Likely it was made up about this thing too but she needed to try. All the way down here she thought about it, she was going to tell him and let the chips fall where they may. The she would leave if he told her to again, and she would never come back here again.

“Fine, so is he at work or what.”

“Yup.” Merle nodded. “He’s at work still, trying to finish a car so he can be off tomorrow to get ready for his wedding, you be sure and not take up too much of his time, ya hear?.” He knew she wouldn’t stop till she found him, might as well tell her. But he couldn’t resist digging at her. She tried to take his brother away from him, she well deserved it in Merle’s opinion.

“You have a nice day too Merle.” She said and turned on her heel and walked away. “Bye Shane.”

“Take care Carol.” Shane replied

Merle walked over to Shane and they both watched her pull away.

“You gonna call him.” Shane asked crossing his arms over the front of his body.

“Don’t know, ya think he wants to be surprised?” Merle chuckled, “What I wouldn’t give to be a fly on the wall over there in about ten minutes.”

 

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

Daryl ignored the phone that was ringing as he worked under the car in the garage, it was Merle who in the end decided to warn him about Carol being in town.

It didn’t matter, Merle had timed the call to come just as she was screeching up outside. That was Merle, he was hoping to be on the phone with Daryl when she blew in there. Merle wanted a ring side seat to this confrontation.

But he didn’t answer the phone. He had to get this car done because he was off tomorrow. He had a shit ton of stuff to do before Saturday and he did not need any distractions.

Daryl cocked his head thinking who the hell was out there, and they drove like a nut. The garage was closed, he would have to go tell whoever it was to come back tomorrow. This was a huge pain in his ass right now.

Then he heard the music, “Tonight, Tonight.” And he knew who it was. Fucking Smashing Pumpkins. Fuck. That was her favorite song.

His chest felt like an elephant just stepped on it. 

The cigarette he had been smoking dropped out of his mouth and onto his chest. He went to sit up, wiping the cigarette and ashes off of himself and slammed his head on the undercarriage of the car. He let loose a string of curses and laid back down, his breath coming out in little bursts as he pulled himself together.

The words to the song were drifting into the garage bay making him remember the last time he heard it. He couldn’t help it, he took a few deep breaths and closed his eyes. He smiled, forgetting for a moment that they were done. She could have just been coming to see him at work, after she was done at the diner for the night. Like she did so often when they were together.

The memory came to him in a rush.

They had been driving in his truck and she was taking a sip of a soda and passing it to him. They were going out somewhere, he couldn’t remember where, but it didn’t matter.

They were together and happy, his arm was around her, with the wind in their hair. Driving down a back country road going nowhere, just the way they liked it. Happy and free.

He laid there thinking about how she always took over the CD player in his truck. To broaden his horizons she had said. But he didn’t care then, she was his girl, she was by his side and he would listen to whatever she wanted.

And he kind of liked that song. Her taste in music wasn’t always bad to him and she actually got him to like different things. He was unable to move and just listened to the words, lost in the memory. Imagining her face, his heart about to burst.

We’ll find a way to offer up the night, tonight.  
The indescribable moments of your life tonight.  
The impossible is possible tonight.  
Believe in me as I believe in you.  
Tonight.

What was she doing here now? He pulled himself out of the memory and started to sweat. The music stopped and he realized she had shut off the car. She was going to come in now. He dropped his wrench and cursed to himself. This day was going to go downhill really fast.

He didn’t want to see her. He had spent the last two years trying to forget her and he had gotten to the point where he didn’t want to kick himself every day for sending her away. He was hanging by a thread, Karen or not it didn’t matter. Carol was something else altogether for him. It would be better if they never saw each other again, but here she was.

“Shit,” he said to himself, as he watched her boots walking into the garage. If he could have gotten out from under that car he might have run. Seeing her was going to be his undoing. He had told her to go away, and he wasn’t nice about it. There was only one reason she would come back after the way he had treated her. 

She stopped where his legs were sticking out from under the car. He prepared himself to deal with her.

“I know you heard me.” She tapped his foot lightly with her foot. “Come on out, I drove a long way.”

“What do ya want Carol?” Daryl asked not coming out from under the car. He hoped she would just go away, but Carol wasn’t the sort to go away without saying her peace. He had loved that about her, that spunk and fearlessness. It was what made him fall in love with her.

Now it was going to drag him right down to hell.

“I wanna know when you went out of your damn mind.” She huffed, squatting down to look at him. “You’re marrying Karen Wallace on Sat? What the ever-loving fuck Daryl?”

He kept working on the car and wouldn’t look at her because he knew the minute he did his resolve to do the right thing would start to dissolve. Because he was doing the right thing this time, his mind was made up. He didn’t plan for it to be this way, but it was. He had accepted it and made peace with it.

Sometimes you didn’t get what you wanted in life and sometimes loving someone wasn’t enough.

That’s what Merle had told him.

“Not really your business, is it?” He said still working on the care and not looking at her, he couldn’t, she was the one person in the world who knew him completely. She would see right through him. He tried to keep her off balance with short snippy answers, hoping she would just get sick of it and leave. That wasn’t her though, the chances of her leaving without whatever answers she wanted was slim to none.

“Daryl, your 22 years old, I know this isn’t what you want.” She said. 

“How do you know what I want?” He snapped.

“Because I know you, and we talked about it.” She sat down and crossed her legs and lit a cigarette. “You said there was no rush, you wanted to live together indefinitely, now all of the sudden you’re in a rush?”

“You shouldn’t have come Carol.” He said turning the wrench on the car still not looking at her. “You’re supposed to be at school.”

He wanted that for her, success. That was what he always wanted for her and in his mind he wasn’t part of the equation.

“Why not, you’re making a mistake, all the times we talked about it, everything you said, and I know this wasn’t your idea.” She said. “You said you didn’t even know if you believed in marriage, now you do?”

He wanted her out of there, he couldn’t stand the way she was looking at him. Her eyes burned into him and they hadn’t even made eye contact yet. It all felt wrong somehow to him that it was like this now. They had been something special and now this was what it was reduced to. 

She was right, all the things they had talked about, and she knew and saw through him. She always could, and he knew she would call him out on his bullshit every time. Because she was the one.

She was the one.

But he couldn’t allow himself to go there. His mind was made up, and this was how it had to be.

“I thought you wanted to go to school. What happened to that?” She countered grasping at straws as to why he was doing this. She looked around the garage. “What is she pregnant or something? Merle said something about you stepping up to the plate, that what he meant?”

He scooted out from under the car went right around to the other side, got in and sat down to start the car. Revving the engine more than he needed to. Maybe she would get the hint.

She didn’t, she just stood up and followed him to the other side of the car.

He didn’t answer her and that was all the answer she needed, she hadn’t even accepted that he was with someone else. He was going to be a father, her heart jumped into her throat. 

They had named their children one night while lying in the back of his truck, looking at the stars. On one of the many nights they spent out there at that dead end road holding hands and dreaming of their future.

 

Now he was doing this with someone else. It actually hurt her heart.

 

“Oh shit, she is pregnant, dammit Daryl, dammit.” Her voice low and with an angry edge. 

“I told you ain’t your concern.” He answered harsher than he had meant to. He wouldn’t be mean to her not now, not unless he had no choice. She leaned back on the car.

“Well, congratulations?” She said curtly. “I don’t even know what to say.”

“Thanks.” He nodded his head to her. “Nothing else to say really.”

“Do you love her?” She put her hand up to her face and waited for his answer. He didn’t say anything. He wanted to lie to her, he really did. But he couldn’t not this time. He told her once he wouldn’t wait for her, and that she should go to school and forget him. That it was better for both of them that way.

That was a lie because even as he was saying it his own heart was breaking. It wasn’t better for him, he had been miserable trying so hard to forget her.

He could still hear Merle’s voice in his head, she’ll hate you for stealing her future. Best rip it off like a band aide. You’ll both get over it soon enough.

But she’ll hate me now.

And you both will get over it.

Her voice pulled him back from his thoughts.

“Ok so you don’t?”

“It’s not like that.” He said getting out of the car.

“Well, what’s it like then? Either you do or you don’t.”

“You don’t understand.” He reached into his shirt pocket and took out his cigarettes, and lit one. “It’s not just...”

“Then help me to understand.” She said watching him put his zippo back in his pocket. She had bought that for him. It had his initials on it that was the one she gave him alright.

He still used it.

She had thrown the necklace he gave her in the pond, he had seen her do it. That day in the storm, when he had come to break up with her. That was one of the worst days of her life, up until this day. He had kept her gift to him, and he still used it. 

They had so many plans how did they end up here, like this?

“I don’t have to explain myself to you anymore” He said roughly. “You come here acting like I owe you an explanation, I don’t.”

“You know that’s always been your problem, you’re so stubborn did you ever think for once you didn’t have all the answers?” She turned and started to stand up.

She turned and leaned back on the car he had been working on, crossing her arms.

“My problem? “He said. “I’m not the one who came down here all halfcocked like a dumbass.”

“You never asked me what I wanted, you never gave me a choice.” She said. “You just left me.”

He backed up and leaned against the car opposite the one she was leaning on because he didn’t want to be close to her. He never knew what was going to happen if he was too close to her. There was a time not too long ago that if they were in close proximity he had to be touching her. Three years together and he could never keep his hands off of her. She was like a drug and he needed that fix, all the time. He needed to stay on this side of the garage.

“You were leavin me!” He raised his voice. “What would you have done with some hick from Georgia at that school anyway? Huh? It never would have worked, I did us both a favor.”

“Yeah, because you know it all, don’t you.” She raised her voice right back. “You broke my heart and you didn’t even care and now you’re getting married like it meant nothing.”

Now he knew what to do. She had just revealed to him her Achilles heel. Her weakness and he would use it to get her to leave, because that the way it had to be. He would say everything that he didn’t believe. He did care, he always did and always would. But he didn’t have a choice now.

“That’s because it didn’t mean anything.” He roared. “It was just kids’ stuff, it didn’t matter.”

The same thing he told her two years ago. She was furious, as furious as she was then. If she was a violent woman she would have smacked him.

“It meant something to me, you meant something to me.” She stepped closer, raising her voice slightly. She screwed up her courage and looked right into his eyes, as she got closer.

Then her voice was soft and she wasn’t yelling. She stared at him, he wanted to look away but he couldn’t. She was too close.

“It mattered.” She whispered.

And in an instant he closed the distance between them and she was in his arms and he was kissing her. He turned her around so that her back was against the car and he was pressing against her, and it felt so damn good. 

He didn’t know how that happened. But he wasn’t stopping, one last kiss before dying, as the saying goes. One minute they were yelling at each other and the next he had her pinned against the car and his hands were running up her ribcage like they hadn’t been apart for two years. It felt so good to touch her again, his head was swimming with thoughts of her. It had been so long and their bodies still fit together perfectly. Her hands were running through his hair and he wanted more, so much more.

The impossible is possible tonight, tonight.

But they didn’t belong to each other anymore.

He kissed down her neck tasting the salt of her skin that he missed so much. She tasted so good, better than her remembered. He heard her sigh and he moaned against her neck, pushing himself closer to her, holding her tighter in his arms. Trying to devour her he brought his lips back up to hers. 

One more kiss before he let her go forever. Just one more kiss. He savored it and made it count.

“I still love you.” She whispered almost too quiet for him to hear, against his ear. He still held her in his arms, not wanting to let go yet. Because she would never be there again.

Sometimes love wasn’t enough.

He swung his head away from her and stepped back from her. Why did she have to say that? They were over, he had made the clean break, like Merle said he should. He lost his head for a minute because they were fighting it was a passionate outburst or something. It didn’t mean anything, it was good but it didn’t mean anything.

“Well, I…I” He paused just for a second, his eyes grew soft, this was the hardest thing he would ever say in his life, but it would make her leave. “I don’t love you anymore.”

He tried to look away from her but tears were starting to form in her eyes. He couldn’t stand when she cried, he had to make her leave now. Before he took her in his arms again. He could not let her cry in front of him, he’d never send her away if she ended up in his arms any longer tonight. It felt too good to hold her, and he didn’t know if he could stop himself if he touched her again. He stepped back suddenly aware of her proximity.

“I know you’re just saying that because you feel obligated to Karen, you really expect me to believe that when you just kissed me like that.” She practically rolled her eyes.

“Don’t gotta do nothing, I don’t want to.” He raised his chin up slightly to make his point. To let her know she needed to back off. But she was coming closer. “And I don’t care what you believe, it’s how it is now.”

He took the rag out of his pocket and started wiping his hands. Looking down so he didn’t have to look at her.

“I’m sorry that happened, I’m sorry I kissed you. It was a mistake.” He said not looking at her.

“Well, I’m not.” She countered. “We can fix this.”

He shook his head. “No we can’t.”

“I’ll quit school.” She said. “I can help you with the baby.”

“No you won’t.” He flew back around. “Just go Carol, go, I don’t want you here.”

He could not have her quit school and he had made a promise already. He would not go back on it, for once he was going to do the right thing by somebody. He had done wrong by this woman in front of him. This woman who just offered to help take care of a baby that wasn’t even hers. He would never find another like her.

He knew that now, but it was too late.

Even if they got on his bike right now and left together. He would never be able to live with himself.

So even though he didn’t really love Karen, not the way he loved Carol anyway, he had promised her. A man didn’t back out of his responsibility, that’s what Merle had said. He was going to be a father.

It was time to be a man and let her go. Or make her go if she wasn’t willing to do so.

“I don’t want you here.” He said again getting louder. “Go away Carol, go.”

Merle had tried to convince him two years ago, when Carol got her scholarship, that Carol didn’t need him. That when she got up to that fancy school up north she would meet someone and dump him.

Daryl hadn’t believed that for a second. She was his girlfriend of three years and he knew her. He knew everything about her and she would never do that. They loved each other and they would be together the rest of their lives. He was sure of that as sure as he was that the sun would rise every day. That’s how sure of Carol he had been.

So Merle told him she would flunk out and ruin her life if they stayed together because she wouldn’t be able to concentrate on her school work. She would miss him too much, and then she would blame him when she failed.

Daryl doubted she would fail. She was the smartest person he knew. 

Merle said she would flunk out, or drop out to come home and marry him, and hate him for the rest of her life for taking away her future. That she would wake up one day, after popping out a few kids and still be working at the diner, instead of being a nurse like she wanted to. 

She would wake up and look at him and hate him. She would hate him for the rest of her life for stealing her dreams.

That he believed, when Merle said it a million times to him. He didn’t want her to have regrets, he didn’t want to make a life with her and have her regret it all. They loved each other, but love wasn’t enough and if she left school he believed it would ruin her life. He couldn’t be responsible for that, she needed to do her best in school. This was her chance, he had no right to jeopardize that. So he made sure she went and had no desire to come back.

He made it perfectly clear why she shouldn’t come back. But she did.

What Daryl didn’t know and would never know, was that Merle was walking past his bedroom door one day a few months before Carol was set to go back to New Jersey for school. He stopped and put his ear up to it thinking they were getting busy in there. He was a nosy fuck and it would be like a free porn show. Merle didn’t care, sometimes they were so loud he didn’t even need to put his ear close to the door.

They weren’t right at that moment, but he heard things he didn’t like. 

Things like working overtime and saving money. It’s only for a few months, we can do anything for just a few months. It will go by fast, apartment and I’ll teach you to surf. 

But his blood boiled when he heard, then we’ll be together again and you are going to love New Jersey. 

His brother was going to leave, leave him, to be with her, and Merle couldn’t have that. Daryl could not leave, he was all Merle had. He would not allow him to run off with some girl. He belonged here with him.

No, he couldn’t have that, and soon he started talking to Daryl. He talked to him for weeks, every time he had the chance. He talked to him until he bent him to his will. Until he convinced him. Then one day Daryl drove over to Carol’s house and ended it. She left for school three weeks later. Merle thought she’d never be back, they had dodged a bullet with that one.

And now they were broken up, for almost two years now. He was almost married to a woman who never wanted to leave Georgia. It was a done deal, Daryl knew it and so did Merle.

I don’t want you here.

Carol lifted her chin and looked at him. Trying to get some of her dignity back, she felt like an ass now. She swallowed back her tears and looked up at him. Wiping her face off, she took a deep breath.

“I’m going to my father’s, I’ll be here till tomorrow, if you change your mind.” She said calmly, she started to walk away and then turned back looking right at him.

“Someday you’ll be sorry, I won’t come back, and you’ll be sorry you let me go.”

He looked at her, his eyes soft not for the first time since she got there. 

He was already sorry.

And she walked out, because she knew it too. He wouldn’t change his mind. She got in the car and pushed the CD back in the player. Next up was a good song for her mood.

Fool enough to almost be it.  
Cool enough to not quite see it.  
Doom  
Pick your pockets full of sorrow.  
Run away with me tomorrow.  
June

Daryl watched her go he could hear the music, this song he had never liked. It was sad and the name was stupid. Who names a song Mayonnaise, after the grossest condiment in his opinion? That stupid band she was so in love with.

Mother weep the years I’m missing.  
All our time can’t be given back.  
Shut my mouth and strike the demons.  
That cursed you and your reasons.  
Out of hand and out of season.  
Out of love and out of feelings.  
So….. Bad.

 

And when she was gone he picked up a wrench from his work bench and threw it across the garage. It hit the wall across from where he was standing knocking a bunch of other tools down, the noise was deafening. He didn’t care.

“I don’t love you, anymore.”

He yelled at no one, and he knew it was a lie.

 

That didn’t make him feel better so he punched the hood of the car he had been working on a couple of times. He paced back and forth a few times then he leaned back and covered his face with his hands.

 

Carol went to see her brother and father, who were really surprised and happy to see her. She visited them for the rest of the night and part of the next day. They were thrilled to see her and she and Abe sat up watching movies and eating popcorn watching their favorite movie. “A Few Good Men.”

She knew Daryl wasn’t coming. 

She stopped on her way home to have lunch with Tara and MIchonne at their school. It was good to see them as well, they knew why she was there and knew better not to bring it up. Still they had plenty to talk about, she hadn’t been home in two years.

They had a lot of news to tell her too. Rick and Lori had gotten married since she had been gone. Daryl hadn’t told her that, but then they had other things to talk and yell about. She did enjoy the visit with her two best friends, even though her heart was breaking again because of him.

She was back home by Saturday night, and she supposed he was married by now.

She opened up the bottle of Pinot Grigio that she and Sasha were saving for emergencies, allowed herself this one night to cry and get drunk.

Then she went on with her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank for reading, I know it was long.


	10. Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a little time jump and a lot shorter than the last two thank God.  
> I hope its not too confusing, this is Friday night, and Saturday morning.  
> Daryl still has to call Carol back, which happens later on Friday night.

A/N: A few people asked about Travis, so here he is. This may be a short chapter but thank God right? After the last two. This is later on Friday after Daryl calls Carol. So we are back in real time now 2011. Travis is thirteen. The actual phone conversation is next chapter so it’s out of order. I’m out of order sometimes, here and IRL haha, so I hope it’s easy to follow. Once again, thank you to everyone who reviews, follows and favorites.  
It means everything to me.

 

Come doused in mud, soaked in bleach, as I want you to be,  
As a trend, as a friend as an old memoria, memoria, memoria, memoria. - Come as you are by Nirvana

 

Travis Dixon pushed the IPod into the dock in his father’s kitchen and turned up the stereo. He ran his hand through his curly black hair and adjusted the volume on the stereo. After a minute he slid the screen on the device until he found what he was looking for. He had a lot of music on his IPod that most thirteen year olds didn’t have, because of his father, who he was incredibly close to. Sometimes his teacher’s at school would hear his music playing and ask where did he come from? Travis listened to their music, they were amazed. Most kids were listening to New Country or hip hop, not Travis Dixon.

  
His father’s favorite band was on here he just had to find the song he wanted and then he was heading out to the driveway to work on the truck. He expected his father soon, but he wanted to start now.

  
He finally found it and the opening riff of Come As You Are by Nirvana came on. His father had a wide genre of music he listened to and Travis inherited that by osmosis from hearing what his father liked all his life. That was true for some other kids he knew as well. They heard what their parents liked and either loved it or just got used to it. His father listened to a lot of Nirvana, so therefore so did Travis.

  
From his father, he got blue eyes, a love of cars and an eclectic music taste. Among other things, he resembled him, except for the hair. He had his mother’s curly black hair. He was the best of his mother and father combined in one person, both in looks and personality.

  
Travis was a loyal friend and a person who would talk to everyone. He was well liked by his teachers and peers, and got good grades. The Dixon name held no weight anymore, since Daryl and Merle had broken the cycle and made something of themselves. They had stepped right out of the mold that was set for them and never looked back.  
Travis walked proud from day one and had none of the insecurities his father had at his age.

  
He appreciated music like his father did and was open minded, to any kind, like his father.

His father had said it was because of a girl.  
He also said someday Travis would meet a girl that would open his mind in new ways and impact  
him too. He said that was what love was all about.

Travis knew he wasn’t talking about his mother either. That was fine, his parents were great friends, and their love for him over shadowed any problems they ever had with each other. Along with his step father Tyreese, his uncle Merle and his girl Andrea, Travis had so many adults that loved him. He knew he had more than some kids did and he was grateful for that.

  
He also knew that his father was all alone. Even at thirteen, he wondered why, and if it would ever change. He wanted his father to be as happy as his mother was. That’s what all kids wanted at that age, he supposed. Most of his friends had divorced and remarried parents, it was just how it was now. His father didn’t seem even remotely interested though, but it was just Travis’ observation. They didn’t talk about that stuff much, Daryl was more interested in Travis’ love life than his own. He tried to steer Travis in the right direction always, so maybe he wouldn’t make the same mistakes he did. He didn’t have a good example in his life when he was young, no one to really talk about things with. He did not do that with his own child.

  
Travis was his world really from day one. A child who grew up knowing that? How precious and loved they were?  
They could conquer the world.  
Daryl, Karen and everyone who helped them along the way raised one good, level headed kid.

  
So Travis liked Nirvana because his father did, and that was ok with him. Sometimes he wondered who that girl was that got his country music loving father to listen to Nirvana.  
She must have been something.

  
His father just said she was gone, and would never elaborate. Daryl didn’t feel it was appropriate to go into those details with his son. But, he did teach him about communicationg with people and listening.

  
He turned up the volume and went out the back door to the truck, his father had called him and said he was bringing pizza home, as usual like they did every Friday night. Travis would walk over from his mother’s house, three blocks away with his back pack, and Daryl would come home with a pepperoni pizza.  
They would work on the truck and listen to music, it would be done by the time he was seventeen. They had a big head start on it.  
He enjoyed this time with his father and sometimes his Uncle Merle would join them, but not tonight, Andrea was off from work.

When Daryl got home and pulled his truck in the driveway he saw Travis’ legs sticking out from under the Explorer they were building for him. He got out of the truck, walked over and tapped Travis’ foot, with his own.

 

“C’mon out and eat before it gets cold.” He said.

  
Travis slid out from under the truck, and stood up. At thirteen he was almost Daryl’s height and except for his mother’s dark hair, he favored his father in every way.  
“How was school, you do ok on your test.”

  
Travis nodded and they walked down the driveway towards the house.

  
“I hate that book Dad.”

  
Daryl nodded. “I did too, but we all had to read it.”

  
“Holden Caulfield is a douche.” Travis said opening the door so his Dad could walk in and set the pizza on the table.

  
“Yeah, he is.” Daryl nodded. “Next year you’ll read To Kill a Mockingbird, that’s a way better book.”

  
He said as Travis sat down and Daryl got some paper plates and Iced Tea out of the fridge.

  
“Mom wants to know if you wanna come over tomorrow after we go the junk yard, Ty is going to grill steaks.”

  
Daryl nodded, turning the music down a little.

  
“Yup, tell your Mom, we’ll come back here and get cleaned up and then come over.” He said. “Find out what time.”

Travis nodded and reached for his phone. He texted his mother that yes he and Daryl would be there for dinner, she texted back ‘five O’clock and see you tomorrow.’ With a little heart.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

  
A/N: Slight time jump just because I wanted all the Travis interaction to be together, next chapter is Carol and Daryl on the phone Friday night.

 

  
Travis rolled over in bed, he heard his father out in the kitchen, and it was nine o’clock on Saturday morning. What was he up so early for? The junk yard didn’t open till one o’clock, they never got up this early on Saturday. His father was like a bull in a china shop out there making coffee and what not. Travis was tired and wanted to sleep in. No such luck.

  
He pulled the covers back over his head, but it didn’t do any good. He was knocking on the door now.

  
“I aint ready yet Dad.” He called through the door.

  
Daryl opened the door and stepped in.

  
“I’m going out for a little while, be ready by one OK?”

  
“You going to the garage? Those aren’t work cloths.” Travis said looking him over.

  
“Observant.” He laughed. Travis took after him, nothing got by his kid.

  
Travis sat up and looked at his father, even closer, clean jeans and a real shirt, with the sleeves and his hair was combed. Very sketchy he thought to himself, these were not the usual cloths he wore on Saturday mornings.

  
“You got a date or something?”

  
He shook his head. This wasn’t a date, he was not going to kid himself or even let himself go there.  
“Meeting a friend.” He nodded slightly.

  
“But it’s a lady.’ He looked at his father “That kind of friend isn’t it?”

  
 “What makes you say that?” He asked, a slight smile quirking his lips.

  
“Come on Dad, clean cloths, your hair is combed and you smell like Uncle Merle on a Saturday night, I aint stupid.”

  
“Just be ready at one Ok?”

  
“Want me to ask Mom if there’s enough for your date to come to dinner too?”

  
Karen and Carol and him at dinner, all together. He considered that for all of two seconds. His family was modern and progressive, but even they had limits.  
“No.” He answered too fast, and that was his undoing, his kid was smart and he had walked right into it.

  
“Ha!! it is a date. Does Uncle Merle know, he’s afraid you’ll never….”

  
“Go back to sleep Travis, I’ll be back later.”

  
He turned to go as Travis was already laying down.

  
“Hey Dad?”

  
Daryl turned back.

  
“I’m happy for you.”

  
“It’s not a date.” He laughed.

  
“See you later Dad.” He said. “Have fun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)  
> Reviews and Kudos make my heart sing :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, the phone call. I hope you all enjoy it. This was the second part of my thoughts and what started this whole thing.  
> I wondered if they were high school sweethearts that were reunited after a long time, what would they say to each other.?Could they forgive each other if they were hurt?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well my God its been so long, never dreamed you'd return.  
> But now here you are, and here I am.  
> Pearl Jam - Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town.

Carol never got to see Michonne and Tara that day. She called and spoke to both of them and made plans for the next night. Dinner, a movie and wine at Tara’s afterwards. Then she could talk to them about this new development in her life that she was pretty sure had Tara’s name written all over it.

  
Abraham and Rosita had come home with a pizza and thoughts of any other food left her head. As she cleaned the dishes with Rosita while Abraham took the kids out side to look for frogs, Carol turned to the woman she thought of as her sister in law.

  
Abe and Rosita weren’t married, but they had a love affair that Carol envied. Her brother treated Rosita like a princess, she wanted for nothing. Carol didn’t either really, monetarily. Ed provided a lifestyle that was fitting for an in demand surgeon in the city. They had an apartment in Center City, Philadelphia and a summer cottage in Beach Haven, Long Beach Island, New Jersey. Every summer she and the girls lived there for two months, just them. Their days were spent going to the beach every day, Carol’s favorite place in the world to be.

  
She had a big diamond ring and a mink coat and she would have given it all away for a happy marriage, to love and be loved. To have what her brother and Rosita had. What Sasha and Bob had since she had met them, sophomore year of college.

  
It just wasn’t meant to be for her. But she loved her girls and that was enough.

  
“Rosie, Daryl called me today.” She said rinsing the dishes.

  
“That’s a name I haven’t heard you utter in forever. Did he call about your Dad?” Rosita asked.

  
“Yes, it was nice of him, right? He’s calling back later tonight.” She sighed “I don’t know what to say to him.”

  
“Why would you after all this time. That’s normal.” Rosita said. “Say whatever comes to mind at the time.”

  
“That’s what worries me Rosie.” She laughed “I have so much to say but don’t know how to say it, or even if I should.”

  
“You should.” Rosita replied. “It’s time. If you can go up in a helicopter for God’s sake you can talk to Daryl Dixon, right?”

  
Carol sighed. Putting the dishes in the drain. Yes, she could do it, and she would.

  
“You’ll figure it out, you always do.” Rosita handed her a dishtowel Carol started drying the dishes.

  
“I know, it’s just been so long, but I want to talk to him.”

  
“It has been a long time, he hasn’t changed, I see him once or twice a year” Rosita said “He gets his taxes done at my place, Maggie does them. He’s always really sweet to us, brings us donuts and coffee every time.”

  
Carol smiled, that would be him, thinking of other people. Their fight had been the only time she ever saw a bad side to him. In the three years they had been together they had never had a fight. Only once had he lost his cool with her, and she had a part in that too.

  
“Well, I’ll be up later if you need to talk after. Don’t over think it Carol, It’s Daryl. You know him. He really hasn’t changed at all.”

  
“Thanks.” She smiled and squeezed Rosita’s hand.

  
She didn’t know what to do all she knew was her father was dead and she missed out on so much time with him and so had her girls. They would never know their grandfather the way she wanted them to.

  
She had been a fool, and now it was too late.

  
How could she let this rob her of time with her father? He was gone now and she couldn’t take it back. She vowed right then and there to never have regret like that again.  
That meant cleaning up her mess and getting her act together.

 

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

The phone rang at exactly 10pm and she thought, same Daryl, he was reliable to a fault. That was good at one time, and bad. She caught herself smiling then remembered what the girls had said today, about her smiling. She felt happy, she supposed, to be home, to talk to him finally. It should have been done a long time ago, but she had felt paralyzed once by the pain from it. Then it stopped hurting as life went on and as she became busy with her children, immersed in her job.

  
No time for heartbreak and amazingly she healed.

  
She never came back though, she had not been ready. She could not think about seeing him, even by accident, not for many years.

  
Strange though tonight when that cellphone rang she felt like she did that night after the party, when they first met. Was that really 18 years ago? It felt like yesterday, like she was 15 again and not 33.He had called her that night to say goodnight and they had stayed on the phone for almost two hours. That had been when it all started.

  
She had decided that day while sitting at the pond when he called she would talk to him about all of it. If he would listen, the last time they had seen each other no one was listening to anyone. Maybe age and maturity made them more open minded. She certainly wanted to talk, to say she was sorry for what she had done, the things she had said. He had hurt her, but she had hurt him too. When she later tried to make it right, he told her it was too late and sent her away. She never begrudged him that, she had deserved it she supposed. But she didn’t like having something out there between them. That anger that they had both felt, it was time to put it all behind them. She always hoped he had a good life, that he was happy. She wondered what Merle was up to, and if he was still trying to run Daryl like he did before. Merle had not been good for Daryl and she had gotten into it with him, a few times actually, and, he made it very clear what he thought of her. She thought about all of this and more as she answered the phone the way she used to when he called her.

  
“Hey, hey,” She said as she opened the screen door to the porch.

  
“Hay, Carol.” He smiled, she sounded like he always remembered, and all the years that passed might just be gone. He felt that way at least.

  
“I’m so glad you called Daryl,” she said as she grabbed her tea and took it out on the back deck to sit at the table and chairs. “I was so surprised.”

  
“Me too, but I wanted to call you, pay my respects.” He said.

  
“I’m glad you did, it’s been so long.”

  
“Too long. “ He said.

  
“Yes, too long.”

  
“So sorry about Jim he was one in a million.” He said a twinge of sadness in his voice. He had such good memories of Carol’s father.

  
“Yeah, he was, and he loved you.” He could hear the smile in her voice, the slight lift of timbre as she said it, it made him smile.

  
“Felt the same.” Daryl replied.

  
They were silent for a few beats. The years stretching between them, like the Grand Canyon, they both wondered where to start. They were grown-ups now, not kids. She wanted to behave as such and not hold a grudge or be afraid anymore.

  
“How are you Daryl?” Carol finally said.

  
“Doin alright, you?

  
“I’m alright too.”

  
“Good.”

  
He was relieved, this was going ok so far. He needed to think of something to say.

  
“How’s Merle? “She asked.

  
“Merle’s, Merle you know, he works with me now, still lives in the old place.” He said.

  
“You don’t?’’ This surprised her.

  
“Nah, I got my own place now, sides his girl Andrea is there a lot, I don’t wanna get in the way. “ He answered.

  
“Merle and a steady girl, wow, will wonders ever cease??”

  
“We all gotta grow up I guess right, all them guys, all married or something, Rosita and Abe living together, have been for years. I guess you already know that” He laughed to himself nervously. “Glenn married Maggie Greene you remember her right?”

  
“I do, I was at their wedding in the Bahama’s.”

  
She remembered how that had went, being so afraid he was going to show up. Sasha had taken her kids for the weekend, Ed had too much paper work, as usual, so she went alone. She was a wreak, Michonne and Tara finally took her to the hotel bar and getting her nice and wasted, buying her kamikazes so she would stop worrying. He wasn’t expected, but he and Glenn were friends, and she couldn’t be sure.

  
She was hungover at the ceremony, but at least her nerves were in check. She still watched the door all day, thinking he would be there but he didn’t come. Travis had his appendix out that week, she had heard later on. He couldn’t get there, that had been nine years ago, she wouldn’t have been ready anyway.  
Her father had still been alive then and she hadn’t known how short life really was yet.

  
“Eugene was in love with her little sister the little blonde, he followed her all over school she never paid him no mind either, what was her name? I can never remember it.” She asked. “She was so cute.”

  
“That’s Beth Tara’s girl.” He said

  
“Oh, oh, that Beth, Yeah, I have heard all about her.” She laughed.

  
“I didn’t know you kept in touch, you just disappeared.” He said soft like a whisper.

  
“Of course, I see Michonne and Tara all the time, just not here.”

  
She wanted to say because you told me to go away, you married someone else, but she couldn’t and she wasn’t mad anymore anyway. At first it was what kept her away, later it was Ed being controlling until he stopped caring what she did. She could have come back but she was stubborn. She had never wanted to know about his life, when Michonne or Tara brought his name up. She would change the subject fast.

  
Still they snuck it in sometimes, Carol knew he was divorced and had a son. She knew almost right when it happened, thanks to Tara. Tara had called her to report his divorce, like she had called to report his wedding. Carol had laughed that time, did Tara think she’d run down here when she heard he was divorced. She had come running after him once, and made a fool out of herself, she would never do it again. He never came looking for her either, it just wasn’t meant to be and Carol accepted that a long time ago.  
“Eugene, I wonder if he’s ever gonna hit on a straight girl, remember what Tara said to him, at the prom?” Daryl said trying to break the silence.

  
“Yup I was standing right next to her, you know I like girls right?” Carol said. “And he said, I’m well aware of that fact. So deadpan, I love him though. He got me through Calculus and Physics and I wasn’t the only one either.”

  
“He’s like the Lesbian whisperer. “ He smiled laughing softly and she let out a big laugh.

  
“Daryl!” She kept laughing.

  
“What?” He laughed along with her. “It’s true.”

  
“Hey, I heard Rick married Lori Taylor, I didn’t really like her much. “ Carol said.

  
“Don’t worry they’re getting divorced, ah, She’s with Shane now, having his baby they left town together, you ain’t gotta worry about running into him, either.”

  
She was silent, he brought up Shane, but it didn’t seem like he was being mean. More like trying to ease her mind. Like he didn’t want he worrying about some kind of confrontation or something. She really had no problem with Shane anyway, even if she saw him it would be no big deal. The last time she saw him she had put him in his place.  
Daryl was the one who had a problem with him, all their lives they were at each other. And he was Merle’s good friend, so that didn’t help at all. Shane and Daryl were like oil and water.

  
That came to a head when Daryl had punched Shane in the face, it had been a long time coming between them, but, part of it was her fault and she owned that.  
She had already been gone by then, but Daryl had seen her with Shane before she left. She had heard Daryl thought they were together. Shane was running his mouth about her, and that had been enough for Daryl. Rick and Glenn had to break it up, Tara had told her about that too.

  
“I’m sorry for Rick, and you too, I heard about you and Karen.” She said.

  
She let her voice trail off. She never disliked Karen even before the shit hit the fan. She just wasn’t her kind of person and, after she had been so jealous and angry. Karen was probably a nice person, but she had married him, and that’s not how it was supposed to be.

  
Carol and Daryl had made plans, plans that were totally destroyed, by fate, other people, and themselves.

  
“Yeah, Karen and I been divorced a long time, she married Tyreese Jonson, like ten years ago, Travis, that’s my son, he don’t even remember Mommy and Daddy living together.” Daryl said.

  
“Wow, my kids should be so lucky. “She regretted saying that the minute it had left her lips. She knew he’d catch it, he always caught everything she said. He listened to her, he always had and nothing got by him. Some things never change.

  
“Huh?” His voice picked up. “What did you say?”

  
“Oh how old is Travis?” She quickly changed the subject, she had not meant to say that. What was it about him that she always just said what she was thinking, like she could keep no secrets from him? He brought out all the word vomit in her, even now. Not even on the phone for ten minutes and she was divulging all her secrets.

  
“He’s gonna be 14 in January.” He said.

  
“Wow.”

  
Daryl decided to just go for it, he had nothing to lose really. She had said that and he felt like maybe life wasn’t against him after all. He wanted to know, if she was happy. If not, he was going to offer to change that.

  
“You wanna talk about what you just said before.” She had sounded so sad just then, he hated that. He wanted her laughing voice back.

  
“No” She answered too quickly. “I really don’t”

  
He wouldn’t push her. He thought quickly of something to say, to lighten the mood and hopefully make her laugh.

  
“Uh oh ok, hmm, so, we’re old and gray and thirty now Carol” He said laughing his musical laugh that always, always made her smile.

  
That had been an old joke between them, he winced hoping she would laugh and not be sad. The joke had been about when they were going to have kids. Not till they were old and gray and thirty they had said.

  
They had talked seriously about getting married, made plans for a future together. When to have children had been decided, how many. They even talked about baby names they liked, it was serious. They had everything figured out, that was why when he ended it she had been so blindsided. The carpet had been pulled out from her feet and she had fallen hard, it took her years to get back up.

  
Neither of them had named any of their kids the names they had picked out.

  
She sounded unhappy just now and he never wanted her to be unhappy again. He had been witness to that once before and he almost broke because of it. He had done it, he knew for reasons he thought were valid and for her own good. But that didn’t’ matter, it still nearly killed him too.

  
She giggled, oh thank God he thought I didn’t fuck this up that much. Not yet anyway.

  
“Yeah we are, actually way over thirty, who would have thought it Daryl, when we were tooling around here on your bike, tearing up all over the place that we’d be over thirty.”

  
“Or apart.” Damn he thought and winced again. Why he couldn’t keep his trap shut, he thought. Five minutes on the phone with her and he was spilling his guts, saying all the wrong things, like always.

  
“I’m sorry it was the first thing that came to mind.” He said.

  
“I agree, I thought that too, but it’s ok, that’s not how it was supposed to be.” She said.

  
“You getting Zen on me?”

  
“Kind of, I’ve grown up I guess.” She thought of what she wanted to say. “I understand things differently now.”

  
“Well, I’m gonna try to stop putting my foot in my mouth anyway, you’re gonna to lose patience eventually.”

  
She laughed though and on his end of the phone he was smiling.

  
“I just, I didn’t mean to bring up all that old shit” he whispered.

  
“It’s ok I’m happy to hear about the old gang, to talk to you, we have history, you and I.”

  
“Yeah, we do.” Lots of history, he thought to himself.

  
“I want to talk about it, all of it, truthfully it’s why I wanted you to call.”

  
“I do too.’” His voice still a whisper.

  
She waited. Unsure of how to start this conversation. She played it over in her head over the years but now she couldn’t get the words out. She knew what she would say to him if she ever got the chance, had thought about it, but now the words wouldn’t come. Hearing his voice brought back so many memories. She couldn’t get the words together.

  
She couldn’t get it out of her head now, all the memories. He had taught her to drive, and how to change a flat tire. How to start a car with a screwdriver.

  
They had danced together without music out by his truck in the woods, he hummed “Heroes” in her ear the whole time. That was still the most romantic night of her life. It was a flood of happy memories bombarding her brain all at once the more she heard his voice, they had loved each other so much.

  
“Can I see you? If we’re going to talk about it, can it be in person. I live real close.” He asked.

  
What? Was this him talking? He heard his voice asking to come over there. He wasn’t even sure he could handle seeing her again. Yet he felt desperate for it. Yes, he had to see her.

  
Merle’s words echoing in his head now, third times the charm, little brother. Do it before it’s too late again.

  
She felt it again, he always did this to her, that mix of excitement, nausea and terror. What was it about your first love? Did everyone feel this way? After so many years?

  
She had thought she would sneak into town and he would never know. This is exactly why she never came back before, to avoid this. He had an effect on her that time couldn’t erase. She would not be able to deny him anything he asked.

  
“Carol?’ He said when she hadn’t answered him.

  
He couldn’t let her leave without seeing her, and right now it was the most important thing on his mind. He didn’t know what the hell he thought he was going to do once he saw her though.

  
“Uh, the girls are asleep, I can’t tonight.” She gulped out.

  
“Tomorrow?” He asked hopefully, she could hear it in his voice.

  
God he was sounding like a man dying of thirst in a desert. Desperate, always so desperate when it came to her. He remembered what it had been like touching her, kissing her, having her in bed. Now, he was now even more desperate, if that was possible. He had to see her, she had to say yes.

  
“The diner, meet me for breakfast? Or lunch, whatever you want its Saturday Abe can watch the kids can’t he?” He said thinking to himself, you are so desperate. “Dale would love seeing you.”

  
“He’s still there? “Carol asked.

  
“Yeah, still makes the best grits in Georgia”

  
He was surprising her more and more as this conversation went on. Years ago it had been she that chased him until he felt comfortable and trusted her. Then he became confidante after her knew he had her, but until then she had been the one making all the moves. He took a long time to be comfortable, she always felt like it was because he lost his mother so young and his father being such a bastard. They didn’t talk about it too much but she thought so. He had always been a little skittish. Unless he had a point to prove. He could be stubborn if he had it in his mind to be, so could she, which was kind of what ended them. He was sure he was doing the right thing and it destroyed them.  
But this was a different Daryl, not afraid in the slightest.

  
The years had changed Daryl Dixon. He was a different man and she was going to say yes, God help her. Because she wasn’t that same girl anymore either.

  
“Ok,” She laughed “for the grits.”

  
“Ok?” He couldn’t hide the thrill in his voice. Whatever got her there, the grits or whatever, it didn’t matter she was coming. “What time?”

  
“How’s eleven.”

  
“Eleven is great” He smiled and suddenly all his nervousness was gone “So Carol…what kind of music ya into these days?”

  
She smiled wide then. Just like the very first time he ever called her, they were talking about music. Just like old times. She decided to mess with him a little.

  
“You ever hear of Five Finger Death Punch. Or OAR?”

  
“I can’t say I have but I’m sure ya gonna make me listen to them tomorrow.” He laughed.

  
“I am, and while you’re doing nothing later, when we hang up, Google “Drowning Pool “Let the bodies hit the floor.”

  
“I’m scared.” He teased.

  
“Ha, you should be.”

  
‘I am, I know you, and your crazy music.”

  
They were now laughing outright.

  
“Hey, Dixon, your precious Johnny Cash covered “Hurt” She laughed: “You know that right?”

  
“I swear when I heard that, what was it five or six years ago, first thing I thought, Carol is probably laughing her ass off at me right now.” He said.

  
He was enjoying this conversation with her, it could have gone either way, really. She very well could have hung up on him, he wouldn’t have blamed her. But she didn’t and they were indeed talking like old friends now. Even though they had a few awkward bumps along the way. The years had changed them both and calmed them both down. She wasn’t stomping off in a rage and he wasn’t throwing wrenches anymore.

  
“He did a good job with it.” Carol said.

  
“Yeah he did.”

  
“I did laugh about it, I remember I wished I could have called you and gloated.” She said.

  
“I would have loved it Carol.”

  
He joked and it was just like they hadn’t been apart at all. Just like nothing had ever happened between them to drive her to not set foot in Georgia for almost 15 years. Nothing that made him marry someone else, even when she practically begged him not to.

  
He filled her in on all their old friends, who was doing what, who left town, who stayed. She told him all about her girls, and her job as a flight nurse in Philadelphia. He rambled about Travis, who was the most important thing in his life. Travis was the greatest thing he had ever done he told her, and she got that, she understood.

  
He filled her in on Merle’s antics and about his new girl Andrea who was also a nurse like Carol. He said Merle was different now, he had gotten sober. She was happy about that, Merle had grown some too.

  
There was a lot of laughing and smiling on both ends of the phone that night.

  
Just like the first time he ever called her, when she was 15 and he was 17.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, I heart you all.  
> I eat reviews and kudos up with a spoon :)


	12. twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brother sister heart to heart.

My Heart is broke but I have some glue. Dumb by Nirvana

Carol sat down on the outside front stairs next to Abe the next morning as he was having his coffee and cigarette. She no longer smoked but used a vape. She sipped her coffee, loving the taste of it and being with Abe without Ed always hovering over them. She was home and at peace for the first time in a long time. Abe noted the vape she was holding.

"You like that thing sis?"

"Got me off the Newport's and its Pina colada flavor yummy. "

She smiled at him. She loved her brother and missed him, she was happy to be with him. This was a sad occasion but, he hadn't seen her in a while. Since Rosita, their father, and he made the trip to Pennsylvania where she lived last Christmas, as was their usual custom. He loved his nieces and wanted to see them more often, maybe if she could finally stop avoiding Daryl she'd come back more often, he hoped.

She had been away too long, missed time with her father because she was afraid to run into him, he knew she regretted it. His death hit her hard, it had been sudden, and she had kept saying to Abe that she always thought there would be more time.

"I don't know why I'm doing this." she sighed.

"Breakfast?" Abe asked.

"Yeah, I just feel like I don't know. Why?" She said.

"Because you'll drown if you don't."

She turned then and looked at him. Abraham was taking a gamble, she wasn't happy, not like she used to be and he wanted her to stay. He, like everyone else was not a fan of her husband. He missed the girls too. She used to be a happy carefree girl, even after Daryl. It took a while after Daryl dumped her but she did come back to who she was before.

Abe knew she had never been happier in her life than when they were together, but they weren't and she had dealt with it. She made a life and a career for herself, got over it.

Over the years and especially since her marriage he had watched his sister change. It was subtle at first, but now the change was so great you couldn't ignore it, he wouldn't ignore it. He would always be the protective older brother even if she didn't want him to be.

He also knew how things had turned out for Daryl, divorced before the ink on his marriage license was even dry. Abe always thought it was because he still loved Carol and now that Daryl had reached out to her, Abe was sure. He was going to watch what happened now and cross his fingers.

His sister deserved more than just existing, she deserved happiness.

"What?" She asked.

"Carol, I know there's something wrong, you aren't the same girl that left here."

She looked over at him about to speak.

'And yeah you were in a huff over Daryl and all, but you finished school and you had a life you were happy, in your voice on the phone you were always so bubbly. But then you changed."

"He doesn't love me." It was time to be honest, her friends up north knew, Michonne and Tara knew. She could never bring herself to tell her father and brother. She didn't want them to worry about her. She had failed, another man hadn't wanted her, that's how she saw it. "And I don't love him, I don't think I ever did."

He listened, but deep down, he knew. Ed put on a good show, but he held her arm a little too tight for Abraham's liking on a few occasions, and Abraham had been watching him.

He did not want his sister or nieces going back.

"He never did, he married me because I looked good on his arm, arm Jewelry, that's what I am and he doesn't care about me." She looked down at her hands in her lap.

"I kind of had that idea the way he is with you and how he was about the makeup and your cloths." He said.

"I wanted to have children so damn much and I thought time was running out, the clock was ticking so. I overlooked so many things, I'm so stupid." She looked over at him.

He put his arm around her, pulled her close to him.

"You aren't stupid. He's a stupid prick." He kissed the top of her head.

"Oh I am and you know it, but you love me anyway, through all my bad decisions."

"You aren't perfect Carol." Abe said sweetly.

"Believe me I know I get told every day. What a walking disaster I am. "

"No, that's not true, does he even know what's in here?" he took her hand and pressed in to her chest "Does he even care?"

This mortified Abe because he was a man who appreciated his woman and made her feel special. He was a lucky man and he knew it. Ed was given the greatest gift in Abe's mind, his sister and those girls. Abe wanted to kill him right now.

"He says I'm fat because I and five pounds above what I was when we got married, my hair is too dark, too curly, my eyes are too big and so are my boobs, I'm too tall, a bad mother," she ticked the things her husband hated about her off on her fingers as he looked on horrified "Oh and I'm a shitty nurse."

Abraham was becoming enraged, but he didn't want to wake the kids or upset his sister who looked like she was going to lose it any minute. How could someone who promised to love his beautiful sister and protect her, treat her this way? Say such horrible things to her. He practically worshipped the ground Rosita walked on and as far as he was concerned his sister deserved that too. All women did.

"Those girls in there would disagree with that." He pointed towards the house.

"Oh and yeah, I couldn't give him a son. Its ok, Abe. I don't even care anymore." She took a drag of her vape and blew the smoke out.

"He doesn't even work with you, I bet all those babies you transport and their parents think you're the best nurse they ever saw, and the man you're going to see today. I think he would also disagree with Ed, strenuously, object, even." He smiled over at her, waiting for her response.

She laughed full on and Abe saw a glimpse of the girl his sister used to be. Her eyes were bright and sparkly, like they were when she was young.

"I don't believe that for a minute." She was still laughing.

He had made he laugh with the "A Few Good Men" reference, his favorite movie. He didn't know if she'd catch it, but of course she did. They must have watched that movie a million times together. He missed his sister, they had so many good times before she got married, movies and popcorn and great talks. He wanted that back.

"Believe it, you were the best thing that ever happened to him and he knew it." Abe said.

"Pffftttt you're my brother you're a little bias."

"You listen to me," He turned to her being very serious now. "It doesn't have to be this way, you and the girls can move here with me and Rosie there's plenty of room."

"I can't, he won't have a divorce, and I'll have to drive into a brick wall to get away from him. I've thought about it."

She trailed off lost in thought and Abe held her tight, then took her hands in his kissed the top of her head.

"He's threatened me if I leave, said he'll jack me up with anesthesia and no one will ever know it was him." She looked at him. "He will."

"He ever touch you." Abe said with more than a hint of anger in his voice. Because if he had touched her he was a dead man.

"No."

She closed her eyes. Ed always prided himself on the fact that he never hit her. He threw things at her, dishes, cups, insults, but in his mind because he never hit her, she should be grateful, she didn't get what was coming to her. She was a Doctor's wife, expected to always be on stage, the bruises could never show. She was bruised in other ways, from the man who promised to love and honor her.

"Just the threats if I don't do what he wants, he says I'll never get custody of the girls and he'll just kill me anyway," she shrugged "Maybe that's better anyway."

"Stop, stop it right now! It's gonna be ok Sis, I'll help you figure it out, if you want out, you're getting out, fuck him and his demands and threats you aint his slave or property, and I won't have you talking that way. Not again Okay. You're all the family I have left now. I love you so much."

"I'm sorry, I love you too, I'm not trying to upset you, I wouldn't leave my kids behind or you, I'm just rambling."

"Just don't go back, it's very simple.'"

She sighed putting her head down, realizing just what a mess her life had become.

"You aren't going back and I dare that swinging dick to try anything, I should have kicked his ass long ago." Abraham pulled her closer.

He hugged her again.

"Go have lunch or breakfast or whatever with Daryl and when you get back we're gonna figure this all out, okay? Sis, I got your back."

She felt on the verge of tears, her brother had always looked after her. He would help her and her girls, she knew she didn't need to worry. Her brother always had her back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think :)


	13. thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So fifteen years apart and how will it go?

We can be Heroes, forever and ever. What do you say?- Heroes by David Bowie.

 

He smiled when he saw her coming around the corner, windows open her Daddy’s car, music blasting just like she used to. He had been standing in front of the diner leaning on his bike for half an hour smoking trying to relax. He didn’t know what this was or what she wanted to say, but he had something that needed saying. He just hoped he’d be able to say it.

  
He had been wrong, he knew it even as he told her to leave that night. He had been mad at her still, he had a child on the way and he was confused. He had been young, but he wasn’t anymore. He knew Merle was right, for once, and imagine that. He needed to do something, he might not ever see her again, he would regret it if he didn’t.

  
But he didn’t know what to do, she was married, with three kids. He just knew he needed this talk to be in person, he was glad she accepted his invitation. She pulled in, smiled a huge smile, waved and got out. She lifted her sunglasses onto her head as she walked towards him. She was wearing a light blue tank top and a matching skirt that and came half way down her thighs and sandals. Her hair swept back in barrettes and curling down her back, a very different look for her, yet she looked the same to him, he would have known her anywhere.

  
She still looked great and set his pulse racing, as she approached him. He stood up and threw down the cigarette as she came to him saying her old greeting, “Hey hey.” She held her arms up, she was going to hug him to his amazement, and so he opened his arms and enveloped her small frame in a hug. He breathed in her scent deeply, she still smelled like Coconuts, and it was intoxicating. He had to keep from groaning out loud, it still felt the same to touch her.

  
“Mmm, good to see you Carol.”

  
He hugged her longer than was proper, long enough to notice the tattoo on her back of three girl’s faces, he didn’t really give a shit about what was proper and it was a great tattoo.

  
“So I guess you aren’t mad anymore.” She looked up at him smiling in that teasing way he loved so much.

  
“No, I aint mad haven’t been for a long time.” He took her hand. “Come on let’s go get a table”

  
They walked in and asked for a booth and the hostess led them to one in the back where they sat down opposite each other. “Coffee?” She asked.

  
“Yes black for me and tea for the lady, with lemon, two bags, you still drink tea right?”

  
She nodded smiling, surprised that he remembered that small detail about her, the lemon and two bags. Ed always got it wrong about everything she liked, because it didn’t matter to him.

  
That thought made her catch her breath. Fifteen years and he remembered.

  
“I even drink green tea now and I meditate.” she laughed. “Yoga too.”

  
“Very mellow habits for a woman I can still hear two miles away with her music blasting out the windows and.” He pointed to her playfully. “You’re still a lead foot. “

  
She smiled and laughed.

  
“I believe it was you who taught me how to drive. “

  
“Not like that.” He laughed.

  
“Some things never change,” She shrugged, “What can I say?” She smiled. “I haven’t driven a stick in years. I’m having fun.”

  
She stared intently at him, her blue eyes into his blue eyes. Neither of them looked away, they couldn’t, just like it had always been with them.

  
Finally he did before he said something he regretted, or something he didn’t.

  
He kept hearing Merle’s voice.

  
Destiny doesn’t come to town more than three times, its now or never little brother.

  
That meant step out of your comfort zone for Daryl, something he wasn’t used to doing.

  
But he was going to try, because Merle was right this time. Merle, who used to hate Carol, is the one who made Daryl call her. He had pestered him to go see Tara and MIchonne, till finally he went, to shut him up. Merle felt guilty of course for the part he played in their break up, this was his way of making it up to Daryl, and he knew that.

  
And because he knew this was it, she might not be back for a long time, if ever. Merle had told him he was happy he was doing this, seeing Carol now.  
Talk about a turn around, Merle had changed too, maybe they all had.

  
“So, you have ya Dad’s car huh?” He asked her.

  
“Yeah, I’ll be driving it I guess while I’m here.”

  
She wasn’t going back to Philadelphia in a hurry. He wondered what exactly was going on with her. She had said a few things last night that had him thinking, but he wasn’t sure if he was reading too much into it. Wanting it to be true for his own selfish reasons. Tara had not been vague though, not about how she felt about Carol’s husband at least. Tara said he was a dick.

“How long ya here for?”

  
“Not sure, maybe a while.” She shrugged.

  
His lips quirked a little at that news. This was good news to him, also very interesting. He quickly put himself in check though. She’s married, keep your cool here, it’s only been five minutes together. Pace yourself you crazy bastard, don’t send her running off, again.

  
His inner monologue had been going all morning back and forth in his head. He knew that there was no time to waste, too much had been wasted already. He was slowly working up his nerve to get to the point with her.

  
“So, this place hasn’t changed at all.” Carol looked around.

  
“Nothing changes around here you know that. “ He said.

  
“It’s soothing, I live in a city its busy all the time, this is nice, it’s relaxing.”

  
She sat back in the booth and sighed. She was so happy to be home, happy to see him. She really couldn’t hide it and she didn’t want to. She smiled broadly.

  
“I feel like I’m home again, I’ve missed It” She said.

  
“You’ve been missed.”

  
He said sipping his coffee, not looking up at her while he did it. Then he peered at her over his coffee cup after a few seconds, she looked up at him, not knowing what to say. She didn’t know exactly what he meant, she decided finally to let that pass for now.

  
“Been busy you know.” She said nervously.

  
“Yeah, I hear you fly in helicopters and shit, that’s badass Carol.”

  
She laughed. Badass, she had never been called that before. Ugly, fat, good for nothing yes. Badass no, but, oh how great it sounded coming from him.

  
“Always with the sweet talk Dixon.”

  
“You know me.” He shrugged looking down then back up at her through his bangs, like he did the first time they had met. She saw a glimpse of the boy he used to be, remembered how she had loved him.

  
Yes she knew him and he knew her.

  
“Yeah I do.” She smiled and her eyes lit up. He was about to say more about missing her, why not, this was his chance after all, maybe his last chance, but he saw the waitress approaching, not Beth today.

  
The waitress came and took their order, they both ordered pancakes, eggs and bacon, Carol also ordered a side of grits, her favorite. Once the waitress was gone she decided to jump into this. No time like the present, do what you came here to do.

  
“Ok so. I wanted to, I don’t know Daryl, say that I’m sorry. I was so, so, out of line the last time we saw each other.”

  
She couldn’t believe how she was stumbling over her words like this. He took a sip of his coffee and looked right at her, his eyes were the same as she remembered and she felt that pull, like she was going to fall into them.

  
“You already apologized to me Carol, long time ago, only I was too stupid to accept it, you don’t need to be saying it again.”

  
He put the cup down, and looked up at her then.

  
“Actually I should be saying sorry to you, I was mean, my intentions were good but I went about things so wrong, as per fuckin usual” He said wryly.

  
She laughed.

  
“I was so mean to you, I’m so sorry Carol.”

  
She looked up at him, his eyes were soft, and he truly thought he was to blame.

  
“I wish I could take it all back. It was my fault...” He said, and he felt so relieved to admit that to her. She took his hands over the table, and he felt a jolt from her touch. It was still the same, the feelings inside of him. If she felt it she didn’t let on about it. She felt it too how could she not? It was him.

  
“Stop, Daryl, remember what I said last night, it happened the way it was supposed to, I believe that, Travis and my girls, they are supposed to be here. And we were both wrong. “

  
She rubbed the side of his hands with her fingers that had always soothed him when they were younger and she watched his shoulders relax. She was always able to calm him down. That hadn’t changed either.

  
The waitress came with their food and they took a break from the conversation for a few minutes. Pouring syrup on their pancakes and starting to eat.

  
“You are Zen aren’t you, good Lord?” He remarked.

  
“I have done so much soul searching in my life, I accept what I can’t change, and it is, what is.” She said cutting her pancakes. “I told you that last night.”

  
“I guess I kind of do too, what else can you do? Water under the bridge and all that”

  
She nodded and they ate some more in silence.

  
“So we’re good then?”

  
He looked at her so hopeful, she noticed, and she nodded smiling.

  
“We’re good.” She replied.

  
She continued eating. If she noticed his sigh of relief she didn’t let on.

  
“Oh my God these grits are fantastic, just like I remember, I may have to move back here just for them” She exclaimed.

  
“They are the best.” It felt like there was more to the conversation that needed to be said. He didn’t know how to approach it. “And if you move back I’ll make sure you have them as much as you want”

  
It was the best he could come up with, still awkward as fuck he thought to himself. He wanted to put something out there, but he didn’t know how to or what to put out. He had a suspicion from what Tara had said that her life wasn’t all moonlight and roses. If that was the case he was making damn sure she knew he knew he had been a fool to let her get away, and it wasn’t going to happen again. If he got another chance with her, it was going to be different this time. He wasn’t the type to steal another man’s woman, not at all, even if she was the one for him. Even if he had been miserable all his life because she wasn’t with him.

  
Daryl was not that kind of man, but if that other man was giving her away, that was totally different, then it was on.

  
“All the grits I want? There you are with that sweet talk again, turning my head, you always were the cutest thing. “She smiled big and wide.

  
She’s flirting with me he thought, he hadn’t expected that. This actually was going pretty well. Time to man up as Merle would say. He was so out of practice, but he gave it his best shot.  
He wanted to tell her so many things, there was so much going on in his head. He settled for asking her some more about her life. Maybe later he could tell her what he wanted to tell her.

  
Which was please don’t leave me again. Even though he had made her go, as an adult now he knew it should have been different.

  
“So what you’ve been up to for 15 years Carol?”

  
“School, Job, Kids, girl scouts, babies and helicopters “she smiled “You?”

  
He noticed she didn’t mention her husband once, noted.

  
That was telling, and he was listening, to what she was saying and what she wasn’t saying.

  
“Ya been surfing lately.”

  
She smiled.” Not in a while, how about you.”

  
“No, I aint been surfing, you were supposed to teach me remember?”

“I was mad at you too. Don’t worry.”

  
“Ah, he had it coming anyway, wasn’t your fault.” He looked at her as she nodded. “And no one’s mad anymore right?”  
She shook her head, she wasn’t mad.

  
“You were my best friend.” She said suddenly and she didn’t know why. The conversation was taking a turn slowly, she wanted to see where it was going to.

  
“You were mine.”

  
“I just didn’t know what to do, you know, it all blew up?”

  
“It’s all okay Carol, we were young and dumb.” He said softly, wanting to say more. “It’s so good to see you. Now.”

  
She was about to reply but they were interrupted. She heard someone calling her name, and Daryl turned towards the isle, where the voice came from.

  
She looked up and her former boss and owner of the diner Dale was coming over. Wiping his hands on his apron. His award winning smile gracing his face.

  
“Carol Parker, is that you? Theodore said he saw you come in with Daryl, I didn’t believe him.”  
She stood up and hugged him.

  
“It’s me.”

  
“How are you dear?” Dale asked.

  
“I’m doing well, Dale.”

  
“Are you here for a visit? Or are you back for good?”

  
“Maybe for a while, Dale.” She said, looking over at Daryl, not really sure why.

  
“That’s wonderful! I hope to see you around here more. ”

  
“You will Dale, you still have the best grits around, how’s Irma?”

  
“She’s just fine, you should come over and see her, she always liked you Carol. Maybe dinner, bring Daryl too.”

  
He motioned to Daryl, who was sitting there observing their conversation. Daryl nodded to him, Dale was alright. Theodore came walking out of the kitchen just then, wiping his hands on his apron, calling out Carol’s name. Soon he was hugging her too.

  
“Sorry to interrupt Daryl, it’s been so long Carol.” T said.

  
“So good to see you T how’s Jacqui?’ Carol said.

  
“She’s awesome, life is awesome,” He said in that merry voice she remembered from working side by side with him all through high school.” We have five kids you know, you have to come by and visit.”

  
“I would love to.” She smiled at him, then looked over at Daryl and smiled and mouthed. “Sorry”

  
Daryl took it all in stride and just shrugged back at her. These two men genuinely cared about her, he had no problem. He also had no problem seeing her again at Dale’s or T’s it didn’t matter as long as he saw her again.

  
He wondered though why she had this constant need to apologize for everything.  
“How’s it going Daryl?” T asked him, and he nodded.

  
“Fine T, just fine.”

  
“Ok we have to get back to work, Carol, I’m going to arrange something with Jacqui and T. We can all have dinner at my house, Irma will love it!” Dale said hugging her.

  
“That would be great, I’ll look forward to it.”

  
“See you both then.”

  
Dale and T went back into the kitchen. Carol sat down and Daryl whistled softly.  
“I didn’t know I was eating with a rock star.” He laughed as they sat down.

  
“Oh, yes you did, I haven’t been gone that long,” She picked up her napkin and laid it on her lap. “Plus I think that’s why you invited me, for the paparazzi.” She laughed.

  
“No, I invited you because I wanted to see you.”

  
“And that’s why I came, I wanted to see you too.”

  
He suddenly wanted to kiss her with every fiber of his being. The desire was overwhelming, he almost leaned across the table and she saw it, the sparkle in his eye, she knew what he had been thinking. She always knew what he was thinking once upon a time and he knew it. He was busted.

  
She was about to lean closer, make it easier on him.

  
“Eat up before it gets cold.”

  
Daryl said trying to back pedal and get his head together. He was also about to say they should just run away together, just get on the bike and go, fuck everything, it felt that strong. The pull he always felt towards her, like a magnet. It was still there, after all this time. They had no secrets ever, and talked about everything and clearly that had not changed. He could be totally himself with her, and she with him, total acceptance, it was a feeling he welcomed back.

 

A/N: It wasn’t easy patching these two back together I just think after fifteen years of cooling off they wouldn’t be so mad anymore. They know what they lost, why make it harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you for reading :)


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl and Carol try to weed through what is going to happen next.  
> I stink at these.

**_I am smitten, I’m the real thing._ **

**_I’m the real thing._ **

**_Have you seen her come around?_ **

**_My crush with eyeliner.                 Crush With Eyeliner- by R.E.M_ **

****

They got into an argument over the check and when Daryl yanked it out of her hand and told her to stop being a bitch. Carol burst out laughing as he walked up to pay for it. This was not new to them, they always fought over the check, and he always won. She followed behind him laughing towards the front of the diner.

He never let her pay for anything when they were together, so another thing that hadn’t changed. It was nice, to be treated nicely, it had been a long time for her.

She met him up at the counter and told him she left the tip and he scowled and grunted at her. As they walked out to the bike and car he was wondering how he was going to see her again. Dale was inviting them over soon, but he wanted something definite, and soon. They reached her car way too fast for his liking. He didn’t know what to do now. They had a good talk, but what was next?

“You got a new bike huh?” She remarked looking at his bike.

“Yeah, you still like to ride.”

“Daryl.” She laughed “I haven’t been on the back of a bike since yours.”

He was secretly pleased by this, she hadn’t ridden with anyone else but him.

He remembered how she loved the feeling of flying on the bike, and how happy it had always made her. His mouth quirked up in a slight smile, that was because of him. That feeling of happiness, he had given her, and no one else had. She turned and looked up at him, her eyes clear and blue.

“This bike is way better than that old dirt bike I had. Can take you out for a ride sometime if ya want. Take ya flying?” He said, remembering how she said it felt to ride behind him.

He had to admit the idea of having her on the bike holding on to him was a welcome thought.

She nodded, not really thinking about it. But she was already preparing what she was going to say next.

“It was real Daryl, between us, I’ve never loved anyone like that.” She suddenly blurted out.

He was surprised by her words, but not by what came out of his mouth. Now he knew what was next.

“I know, I never have either. Not ever.” He wanted to make that clear, she had been the only one for him. Despite what he had told her, to make her go back to school.

He looked at her, there was a swirl of emotion in her eyes, and he was trying to read her. What did she want? What was she going to do next? Should he do something? She just stared back at him, he couldn’t move or look away.

Now or never he thought to himself, no more regrets.

“I think I’m about to do something really stupid,” he said, moving just a little bit closer to her.

“So do it.” She answered, staring right at him, almost a challenge.

“Aint got nothing left to lose do I?”

“No, we don’t.” She said.

He took another step towards her and pulled her in his arms and kissed her, so sweetly. It was every good thing in the world. So long overdue.

They were both overwhelmed with the feeling and the memories that flooded back as they kissed. His arms went around her waist and hers around his neck. He pulled her close to him, sliding his lips against hers like they had never been apart. He couldn’t get enough, he had been starving for a long time.

“That wasn’t stupid at all.” She said when they came up for air.

“Yeah, it was, but I guess I don’t care.”

“I’m going to be here a while, I have a lot to figure out, that’s for damn sure. But us seeing each other after all these years is a sign for something, I think we should, I don’t know have breakfast again?” She smiled

“At my house, next time” He winked at her and she let out a giggle, covering her mouth in mock surprise. She was thrilled because this was the old Daryl.

The one she fell in love with, playful, not the angry one that threw her out of the garage and his life.

The one who made her laugh every day for three wonderful years.  


“I feel like no time has passed Carol. Like you never left, doesn’t make sense to me.”

“Daryl we never made sense. That was the best part.” She was laughing, suddenly she was so very happy. “But I feel that way too, it’s still so easy to talk to you.”

“Was the only thing that made sense, I was a dumbass that night making you go.” He said.

“I’m not going anywhere now.”

She smiled up at him and took his hand and squeezed.

“When I do go back to Philadelphia it’ll be to pack up for good. Abe and I talked about it, just this morning. He misses the girls and I, we, miss him and Ed, that’s my soon to be ex-husband.” She nodded to herself.

Yes they were getting divorced. She had decided this morning with Abe. Even before that if she really admitted things to herself. You don’t hide money in a happy marriage and she had been doing that for years. You don’t get a storage unit that your husband doesn’t know about if you’re happy.

“Well he could give a rat’s ass about us, why should I go back? My family is here.”

They leaned back next to each other both crossing their arms over their fronts.

“Good we can have dinner and then…breakfast. “He grinned and looked at her sideways and bumped her shoulder. She grinned too, he had changed. He never would have been able to flirt with her so openly. Not after being separated for so many years. Not the Daryl she remembered anyway.

He did say they were grown up, that was true. She decided to tease him a little and see if she could embarrass him like when they were first together.

“You’re talking a lot of smack today, Dixon.” She said.

“Told ya, I aint got nothing left to lose.”

“Watch it, I’m this close to taking you up on that.” She held her two fingers up.

“I wish you would, fifteen years is a long time.” He huffed.

She looked over at him, her eyes wide, she was not going to win this, and he was not a kid anymore. He wasn’t afraid to say what was on his mind.

He had no problem letting her know exactly how it was.

“Then I guess you have another date tomorrow night, pick me up on the bike?” She said.

He nodded once. “Tell Abraham you’ll be out late.” He almost growled.

She felt all the hair stand up on her neck and arms, butterflies in her stomach. Just like when they were young. She hadn’t felt that way in such a long time, never with Ed. It felt so good.

They were leaning back against the car he instinctively moved away.

“Old habits huh?”

“Look, I can talk a whole bunch of shit, but I aint never messing with your Daddy’s car. That’s just looking for trouble.” He said.

She laughed and he realized again, he had missed the sound of her laughter, what that sound did to him. He wasn’t stupid, he knew this was complicated at best and a down right clusterfuck really. But he didn’t care, she was back and he wasn’t letting her go again. Not without a fight.

 

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

Saturday night Carol sat on the overstuffed couch at Tara’s house next to Michonne. Tara was sitting in a chair with her feet up very close by they were drinking wine and laughing like they always were when they were together. There were containers of Chinese food on the coffee table and two bottles of wine. She had missed them so much.

“And you’re seeing him again tomorrow?” Michonne asked.

Carol nodded talking another sip of wine.

“You got condoms?” Tara giggled, she always got very uninhibited when they drank together. Tara was always the one who said what was exactly on her mind, so add some alcohol and look out. They called her No Filter.

“What?” Carol said.

“What, I’m just sayin.” Tara laughed. “You haven’t seen him in a long time.”

“No, I don’t have condom’s, I wasn’t even thinking about that.” Carol said putting her hands on her hips.

“Yeah, I call bullshit. “ Michonne eyed her.

“Did you forget?” Carol held up her left hand. “Married.”

“Gimme that fucking thing.” Tara leaned over and almost fell on the floor. “Come on give it here.”

Carol watched as Tara took her wedding band and diamond ring off her finger.

“We’re gonna sell this shit and go on a cruise, all three of us. Got it.”

Carol was laughing, this felt good, really good. She could smell freedom in the air, her father’s death had freed her somehow. She could feel him looking over her shoulder somehow like he wanted her to do this.

Tara took the rings, staggered into her kitchen and dropped them in her cookie jar, which was Yoda. When she took the lid off it said “Do or do not, there is no try.” In Yoda’s voice.

“Yoda’s got this.” Tara laughed.

She turned back with a flourish almost losing her balance again.

“Now, Chonne you got any rubbers, she’s gonna need a few.”

Carol covered her head, as Tara came back and plopped herself between her and Michonne on the couch.

“I got some.” Michonne’s voice trailed off and Tara sat up.

“I knew it, I knew you were fucking Rick Grimes, you little sneak.” Tara said grabbing for the wine bottle.

She turned to Carol.

“She’s been denying this for six months Carol.”

Carol shrugged. “I even figured it out all the way in Pennsylvania I dunno Tara, that Beth must have you all distracted.”

They all three burst out laughing. Tara poured them each another glass of wine.

“Look it doesn’t always look good, you know, we both have to appear in court sometimes, we’re trying to keep it quiet.” Michonne said.

“Oh fine. “Tara huffed. “I’ll keep my yap shut about it but jeez Michonne, I can’t believe it.”

“Believe it, I’m involved with him, ok, you happy now?”

Tara nodded.

“Ok, moving on, Carol, do not go out with him unarmed, you never know, my money is on your getting laid tomorrow.” Tara said.

“What makes you say that?” She laughed. “Do I look…?”

“Yeah you look like you need it.”

Carol huffed. “Thanks a lot Tara.”

“When was the last time?” Michonne asked. “Not the last _good time_ we all know that was a long time ago, just the last time.”

“Almost four years ago.”

“That’s terrible, I’m with Tara, bring them, and bring a lot of them.”

“But...”

“I don’t wanna hear it, why did you stop sleeping with Ed? Because you didn’t want to catch anything right? Because he’s fucking around. I know you, you feel guilty, stop it right now. He ruined the marriage, not you.” Michonne said sipping her wine. “Guilt is self-inflicted, so stop right now.”

She turned to Carol.

“I’m handling your divorce, were filing on Tuesday, you are about to be an unmarried woman.”

They all raised their glasses and toasted. They toasted their longtime friendship, each other and anything else they could think of. She wasn’t leaving again, her friends had her back.

 

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, leaving kudos and reviewing.


	15. 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second Date and I still don't own it.

**_I think I’m just happy- Dumb by Nirvana_ **

****

**_A/N: This chapter and the next one are dedicated to my ff bff and fellow Tegan and Sara fan_ **

**_Magenta’s Nightmare for her daily encouragement and good vibes. Go read her stuff, it’s fantastic._ **

****

**_I think I’m just happy.-Dumb by Nirvana_ **

****

****

Daryl was a mess on Sunday, actually all day Saturday too, but he hid it well from Travis and everyone else. But by Sunday? He was about to jump out of his skin. He couldn’t remember ever being this nervous before. But then the last time he had gone on a date, well it had been with Karen, and they had been divorced a good long time.

It was like his very first date all over again, that anticipation and restlessness.

He couldn’t stop thinking about her, about kissing her. He felt like the night he met her, then he did the math. Eighteen years had passed, since he met her, and he felt like he was getting a second chance.

He would not fuck this up again.

He wanted to take her someplace nice for dinner, a real date.

_But first he wanted to take her to the end of Greene’s road to watch the sunset._

He knew it was cheesy, but sitting there with her the way they used to, only older. Something told him she would appreciate that.

He wanted to do this right, and he wasn’t kidding himself, she was still married. But he knew somehow they could fix this. It would take a lot of work, but he was never afraid of that.

He hoped she wouldn’t leave, that she was serious about moving in with Abe and Rosita. Serious about a divorce, because he couldn’t let her go again and survive. He knew that too.

Merle called him Sunday afternoon and he slipped and told him he was seeing Carol later. Merle ate that up with a spoon, as expected. He winced as Merle started right in on him. In true Merle fashion, Daryl wanted to kick himself for slipping and telling him.

“You need me to open up the shop in the morning?” Merle cackled.

“What?” He asked, not knowing what the hell he was talking about.

“You know, in case your date goes real good?” He could just imagine Merle leering over the phone.

Daryl almost spit out the soda he was drinking.

“Merle, It’s not….she’s still married, and any way it’s just dinner.”

“Sure, ok but ima bring my keys anyway, case you don’t show up in the morning.”

Merle laughed, a huge belly laugh.

“I’m not sleeping with her tonight.” Daryl barked at him. One night he hoped to, but not tonight, it was way too soon.

“I’m sure you’re not.” Merle laughed. “Have fun ya hear.”

And they hung up, Daryl took his soda outside and sat on his porch lighting his cigarette.

He hadn’t even thought about that, not seriously. He shook his head, except in the shower this morning but that was different. He had realized that before yesterday he didn’t know what she looked like now.

She was even more beautiful now.

He had been thinking of how she changed and what she might be like and then he was jerking off in the shower.

But that didn’t count and he wasn’t trying to sleep with her tonight, no way that was happening.

 

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

**_If I gave you my number, would it still be the same._ **

**_If I saved you from drowning, promise me you’ll never go away._ **

**_Promise me you’ll always stay._ **

**_My Number-by Tegan and Sara_ **

****

Abe watched out the window as Carol walked down the drive and to Daryl’s bike. Daryl waved up to him as he sat straddling the bike out front. Abe waved back, saying a silent prayer that this time they would figure themselves out.

He remembered, a long time ago when he watched his sister walking down the front steps on her first date with Daryl. They had been teenagers, innocent kids and now it was so different.

Rosita had taken the kids to Chucky Cheese and was due home in an hour. They planned a nice quiet evening of popcorn and Disney movies for the girls tonight. Carol didn’t want them to be there when Daryl picked her up. She knew she needed to talk to them, but not yet. Their loss of her father was so new yet.

One thing at a time.

So Abe and Rosie had the kids tonight for Disney night, a new tradition, starting now.

They didn’t have kids and probably never would, Rosie was afraid to. Her family had done a number on her. She didn’t want to get married and she didn’t want to have kids, which was a tragedy. But he could not talk her into it no matter how hard he tried.

She was great with kids but she didn’t think she would be a good mother. But Rosie was a spectacular aunt and he loved her no matter what. If things worked out, the girls would be around a lot more. They would have three little girls to shower with love and affection. It would be an answer to more than one of his prayers.

Abe was crossing his fingers.

 

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

She knew where they were going as soon as he passed the turn to go towards town. He was taking her to their place. The sun was getting low in the sky and she was overcome with emotion. She wrapped her arms around him tighter in a squeeze letting him know she was happy about where they were going. While they were riding there, she slipped her hands down to his hips and thighs, like she used to when they rode together before. She felt him suck in his breathe, it was an intimate gesture that felt so natural, she had just done it without thinking. She moved her hands back up, feeling like she had overstepped some boundary. Then she felt him take her hand and place it right back on his hip. She moved her other one back down and leaned her face against his back, inhaling his scent and feeling all her troubles melt away.

She rode behind him remembering all the times they went there, to talk and watch the sun go down. That was the place where they had made love the first time, where they planned their future together.

She hadn’t been there in so long, so many years.

She didn’t know he had been there very recently, trying to decide if he should call her. He laid in the back of the truck remembering everything. He had never brought anyone else here, ever. It was almost a sacred place. It was where he decided to call her, it was fitting, and this was their place.

When they arrived, she rubbed her hands over his back a few times. She felt him relax to her touch and he leaned back as she put her arms around him, under his jacket. This was a ritual from the past, what they always did when they stopped the bike. Then they would get off the bike, after the hug.

_He thought as he leaned back to receiver her hug that life was really strange sometimes and you never knew where it would take you. Three nights ago he had been all alone here and now she was with him._

They got off the bike and she smiled at him, hoping he wasn’t upset with what she did. He smiled back, he didn’t seem upset. He kissed her softly and held up one finger in a ‘Just a second’ motion.

She watched him as he reached into the leather side bags and took out a small bottle of wine and two plastic cups. He seemed nervous and she brought her hand to her mouth when she saw what he was doing. They would lean on the fence and watch the sun go down like they used to. The only difference was, they were old enough to drink now.

“Thought we could stay here for a bit and then go eat, ok with you?” He said.

She nodded almost overcome by this gesture he made. Once again he was making her feel special, like she mattered.

“We need some music.” She said pulling out her purple IPod.

“Ok, no Symphony of Destruction, ok Carol.” He said opening and pouring the wine into the cups. There was just enough for one each. “Megadeth would kill this mood I’m going for.” He winked at her.

“Don’t pretend we never...” She laughed, pointing her finger at him and he felt his face reddened. He hadn’t meant to go there. That slipped out, he looked away from her. She reached for his arm and nodded. They had always teased each other like this, it was a good sign. They were falling back into being together.

“No Megadeth right now.” She smiled. “Maybe later.”

He almost dropped the cups.

They had fucked to Symphony of Destruction so many times when they were young that Merle knew if he walked in the house and that was coming out of Daryl’s room, he wasn’t seeing them for a while.

“I have something a lot nicer in mind, right now.” She said as he handed her a cup and she worked the iPod to the song she wanted. They leaned against the fence looking out over the field. She turned on the iPod and handed him an ear bud.

“This is Tegan and Sara, you’ll love them. “She said. “I listen to them a lot, I know you won’t believe it, but it’s true.”

“You’ve been surprising me since you got back, Carol.”

She helped put the earbud in his ear and they stood there, watching the sunset, listening to music that he had to admit was really good.

He hadn’t felt this good in years and neither had she.

The words to a few songs played through their ears as they sipped the wine and watched the sun slip below the horizon.

Carol had changed, gone was all the heavy metal and grunge rock all the time. She had opened up her world and he hoped he was going to get to be a part of it.

He reached over and took her hand in his, lacing their fingers together.

 

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

“Michonne is filing my papers with the court Tuesday.”

Carol said to him over their dinner later. He looked at her, not knowing what to say. He was happy about that, ecstatic even. But he knew divorce was not a good time, especially for kids. This was going to affect a lot of people. He didn’t want to be presumptuous, and he didn’t want to get in her way right now either. He would let her lead, but he couldn’t get Megadeth out of his mind now. He could rip his own dick off for saying that. He didn’t want her to feel any pressure at all. But it just came out, he had been trying to make a joke about music.

“I want you to know, I’ve been planning for this, and I’ve been saving money, putting things in a storage unit in New Jersey. This isn’t a sudden thing Daryl.”

“So, I’m not the rebound guy.” He said taking a forkful of his spaghetti, smiling a little.

“No, you are.” She laughed, sipping her water, giving him a smile and a little laugh.

_God he had missed her._

“Been called worse.” He raised his eyebrows. “By you.” He smiled.

This was what was missing from her life, someone to talk to. Someone to joke with and smile with. She had no idea how starved she was for this. She had thrown herself into her job and kids so deep, that the other side of her was lost. The woman side, he made her feel like a woman. In everything he said to her and every nice thing he did for her.

Ed made her feel like a piece of furniture, an accessory. She had forgotten what it felt like to have someone want to talk to her. Someone take her out and make her feel special.

“Carol, I aint goin nowhere, you take this any way you want to, you tell me what you want and don’t want. Okay?” He said, putting his fork down. “We can get to know each other all over again.”

She nodded. They knew each other already, but she was looking forward to see how he had changed too.

“And your girls, they’re gonna need you, divorce is rough on kids.”

She leaned closer to him. He was a good man, he had grown into a good man.

“Daryl, do you know the last time that Ed saw the kids for more than ten minutes.”

He shook his head.

“A long time, they’re used to him not being around, the adjustment is going to be fine and I have Abe and Rosita.”

Daryl hadn’t been away from Travis for any length of time. He didn’t understand how a parent could not be there for their kid. He felt sad for Carol’s kids a little, but they had her, and she was one in a million in his eyes.

He husband was a fool, but ole Ed’s loss was his gain as far as he was concerned.

“I won’t work at first, just so they have me home after school and all that. But eventually I want to get on a transport team here.” She said.

“That’s a good start. I guess you have been thinking it over.”

“For longer than you can possibly know.” She laughed.

“You’re a good Mom Carol, those girls are lucky to have you.”

“Thanks.” She smiled and he knew, just knew she hadn’t been complimented very often and that was a shame. “They are the most important people to me.”

“That why you got that tattoo?”

She nodded.

“Got anymore?” He asked and she nodded again. Now he was thinking because he had seen her back, arms and legs. No tattoos that he noticed.

Wherever they were, they were covered by cloths. He felt out of breath and a stirring in his gut that told him he needed to change this subject pronto.

“I got some too.” He showed her his arm. That wasn’t helping, he needed a dick crushing topic before he embarrassed himself even more.

“I noticed.” She nodded her head towards his arm.

“Travis can’t wait to get one, I told him not till he’s eighteen.” Daryl said.

“I know for a fact you got that star on your hand when you were sixteen, you had it when we met.”

“Yeah, don’t tell him, alright, trying to set an example ya know?” He said.

“Yeah, I know, they’re always watching us, wanting to be like us.”

He nodded. It occurred to him that neither one of them had named their kids the names they picked, all those years ago.

“I’m not holding anything back from you this time, if I have a question, I’m just gonna ask it, instead of thinking I know what you’re thinking or want.” He said. “That ok?”

She nodded.

“No Layla, huh?” He said.

“And no James.” She replied.

They were silent for a beat. He had other things to ask her and other things to tell her.

“Merle made me call you, I mean he suggested it, he’s changed.” He said.

“I know, Tara told me, she told me what he did for her too, I’d like to see Merle.”

“I know he’d like to see you.” Daryl said.

“I don’t blame him, he did what he thought was right, it was selfish, but I get it.”

He wasn’t going to back out of his own word, he had another question.

“We gonna do this.”

She looked at him with a cross between a smirk and a smile.

“Do what.” She tilted her head. “Date?”

“Look I know it’s going to be hard, but I wanna.” He looked at her. “I wanna be with you, you tell me what you want.”

“I will.” She smiled that smile that was all for him and he swore his heartrate went up. His mouth went dry.

He took a sip of his water.

“And I understand this is complicated.” He replied. “I was just talking a whole lot of shit yesterday.”

“I wanna go for a ride on the bike after dinner, sound ok?”

He nodded, that sounded great.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.


	16. 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Big Smut warning. 18 only seriously.

**A/N: Extremely explicit, for me anyway. I always fade to black before anything good happens. This is only the second time I’ve done this so you still have to be gentle with me.**

**_Give me love, like her- Give Me Love by Ed Sheeren_ **

They rode for miles after dinner and eventually arrived at his house. She had asked to see it, because he had built it himself. He had drew up the plans himself too. She wanted to see his creation. She always knew he could do great things.

It was styled after a log cabin on a nice piece of land set back from the road. It had a porch in the front big enough for a table and chairs but there wasn’t one there. He had never gotten around to it. The nearest neighbor was an acre away and trees lined the front yard and along the driveway. It was the perfect place for him really, she thought as they arrived. The porch lights were on and she could see lots of trees, even some landscaping and flowers. The got off the bike and he led her by the hand up the driveway.

She notice the half done Explorer in the driveway and he told her about how he and Travis were building it. She smiled at that, he was a good father, she had never doubted he would be. Things could have been different she thought, but then she shook her head, trying to stay in the here and now.

“This is beautiful.” She said sitting down on the porch steps and he joined her. “Do you sit out here at night?”

He nodded, and she smiled, she had figured as much. He never was one to stay inside. Some things never changed.

“Want something to drink?”

“Sure.”

“M’Kay, be right back.”

He squeezed her upper arm lightly and got up to go inside. He didn’t want her to think he brought her here for a reason. She had asked to see his house. He would take her back home the minute she asked him to. But he did want her to see his house, he was proud of it, in his own way.

As he walked by the stereo with the iPod on top of it, he clicked it on. He continued towards the kitchen.

Pretty fly for a white guy came on, all of the sudden blasting in the living room was “And all the girlies say I’m pretty fly, for a white guy.”

He ran back and clicked it to the next song “Sirens” by Pearl Jam, not entirely appropriate, but not inappropriate either. He was going to get Travis for that, this song wasn’t much better, but he was rattled now.

He left it on and listened to the words as he got them two glasses of iced tea.

_Let me catch my breath to breathe. And reach across the bed. Just to know we’re safe. I’m a grateful man._

He walked back out and handed her a glass and sat down. It was hot out and she could hear crickets chirping in the distance.

“Travis thinks he’s funny.” He shrugged towards the door. “He messed with my iPod.”

“He is funny.” She laughed. “Just like his Dad, that’s something you would do, don’t even lie.”

She looked over at him.

“That’s what I always loved about you, your sense of humor. You always made me laugh.”

They sat there talking for a while about the past, they always had so much fun together. They reminisced about the Senior Prom, her’s not his. When they had stuffed four couples into her Ford Maverick that her father and Daryl had fixed up for her. Rick’s car had broken down on the way and they had to pick him and Lori up at the last minute.

“Remember Rick had to sit on Eugene’s lap.” She said.

He chuckled taking a sip of his drink. Took out his pack of cigarettes and lit one. He offered her the pack and she shook her head.

“I quit. A few years ago, I have a vape now. Isn’t Travis on your ass about it, my kids were. I got tired of hearing it.”

He nodded. She put her iced tea down between them. They sat and listened to the music for a bit. Travis had downloaded a lot of songs from their youth onto his iPod. They each had one but he had put some things on there that Daryl hadn’t asked for, like Pretty Fly for a White Guy. Then some that he had asked for like “Tonight, Tonight” and “Heroes”. Which actually came on next, the song that was playing the night they met at Lori’s party.

_I, I will be king. And you, you will be queen. Though nothing will drive them away. We can beat them just for one day. We can be Heroes, just for one day._

They sat there and she put her hand over his rubbing her fingers along his knuckles. They both sat there, each remembering, he hadn’t planned that song, but there it was. There was so much still he wanted to say to her. They had only briefly spoke of a plan. But he wouldn’t rush her, something told him she had been a little traumatized. Surely the loss of her father, but something else, it was in her eyes. A sadness that told him he had to tread lightly.

This was good though, sitting here talking with her. Before he knew it two hours had passed in easy conversation.

“Travis is on my ass about a lot of things, teenagers, just you wait, and I hear girls are worse.” He said, trying to clear his head of other things that were invading his mind now.

“Yeah, I’m looking forward to it.” She laughed. “They are already, I never met such opinionated girls in my life.”

He looked over at her. “I have.” He drawled. “Bet I know where they get it.”

She laughed and went to tap his leg and spilled her iced tea all over the porch. She started to jump up but he touched her hand, stopping her.

“It’s ok, we have more.”

“But your pants…”

“S’okay, it’s hot out here anyway.”

She looked up at him, his eyes were soft, looking straight through her. She felt the hair on her arms stand on end. There was an electricity in the air now. She sucked in a breath and her eyes raked over his face landing on his lips.

“Carol.” He said. “Don’t feel like I..”

She moved her head closer in an invitation. All he had to do is accept it. He fought an inner battle at that moment. He wanted to be a good man. He didn’t want to sleep with a married woman. He wasn’t that guy. But he wanted her back, completely and she wouldn’t stop looking at him. He knew that look she had given it to him a million times before.

He could live with being an ok man.

He leaned across to her and kissed her. This time wasn’t like before, where he brushed against her lips quickly. This was a kiss meant to seduce, it was hot and blatantly sexual. He ran his hands over her neck and into her hair causing her to tremble. His tongue danced across her bottom lip, seeking entrance and she moaned out loud as she allowed him access. He held her head in place gently and she ran her hands across his back.

He could hear Merle’s voice in his head laughing at him.

He silently told Merle to shut the fuck up and continued to kiss her, biting her lower lip softly. It was on.

He hadn’t kissed anyone in a long time. It was one of those things that you didn’t really miss until you did it again. Or maybe it was her, kissing her felt right, like it always had. Maybe he had just missed kissing her.

They stopped long enough for him to look at her and she nodded, she knew what he was asking and she was ok.

He went in for another kiss, this one hotter, dirtier, and it sent both of them over the edge. Then he tore his lips from hers and kissed his way to her ear. She felt his breath against her skin and it was delicious.

“Inside or right here?” He whispered in her ear in a way that made her scalp tingle and that feeling worked its way through her whole body. His hands were moving up her ribcage, nothing felt as good as the way he touched her. In all her life, nothing felt as good.

_For one split second she almost said right here._

She was on fire, this was not a slow burn, and she was going to combust any minute. She couldn’t stop trembling. This whole night was turning out so different than she thought. Alright, she thought to herself, time to put her money where her mouth was.

“Inside.” She said in between kisses. “Right now.”

 

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

They made their way through the house simultaneously loosing clothing and shoes. Trying to have a conversation that only came out in pieces, but they both understood. He was still holding her and kissing her as he walked her towards the bedroom. Her hands were everywhere, making him tremble this time as she reached for his belt buckle. They made it to the hall way where he stopped and pulled her shirt over her head and then his own. Dropping them on the floor he kissed her again. Neither one of them felt inhibited it was like before, like nothing had changed. That thought went through both their minds at the same time.

“How long.”

“A long time.”

“Me too.”

“Bloodwork.”

“Clean.”

“Condoms?”

“Tubes tied.”

“Fucking hell.”

He reached for the doorknob to his room and pushed the door open, leading her inside. They landed on the bed at the same time and he pulled her close to him, kissing her again. Softly moving his lips down her neck.

“You sure?” He asked, his lips still against her neck.

She nodded. She was sure since yesterday.

“Are you?”

He smiled against her skin. “Yeah.”

He rubbed his hands down her arms, over her chest and over her bra, cupping her breast in his hand. He continued kissing her neck and rubbing his fingers over her. She sucked in a breath and arched her back, her body remembered him.

“Real sure.” He said longingly.

He reached behind her and undid her bra fast, like always, and had it off so he could really touch her and use his mouth on her.

His cellphone rang, but he didn’t stop his hands or his mouth on her. He just kept going like he was a starving man.

“Hey, answer that, what if it’s…”

“Not his ringtone, it’s just Merle being an asshole.”

She laughed and so did he, She started to reach for his pants to touch him and he backed away.

“Not yet sweetheart.” He said all hot and fiery as he reached for her pants. He sat up a little and got her pants down, but left her underwear on. He tossed her pants aside and eyed her underwear, a thin slip of blue fabric. He reached down and touched her briefly running his fingers over her and she sighed.

Then he stood up and she looked up at him wondering why he stopped. He grasped her by her ankles and pulled her slowly towards the foot of the bed where he stood.

“Come ‘ere.” He whispered, never taking his eyes from hers. He watched her skin flushing already and her breathing changing. He was going to fuck her into next week, but not just yet. His dick was making a recommendation, because his dick wanted in right now.

He told his dick to shut up too.

He grasped her under her knees and brought her to the edge of the bed.

“I always thought it was so hot, the way you toss me around you know.”

She said raising herself up on her elbows.

“I know.” He said grasping one leg and bringing her foot over to kiss her ankle, still burning his eyes into hers. “I remember.”

He rubbed the sole of her foot with both his hands and she flopped back on the bed. This was more intense than she remembered. She stared up at him, he had been a boy before, with a boy’s willowy frame. Now, he had filled out and was all arms and shoulders. She watched the muscles in his arms moving as he rubber her foot. He was hotter than before.

Then she felt his lips and teeth and tongue on her inner, lower leg.

“Oh, my fucking God, Daryl. “She said.

He laughed softly and blew air on her leg and she squirmed.

“What?” He laughed. “I haven’t even done anything yet.”

Then he went down on his knees at the foot of the bed and pulled her closer still grasping her knees and spreading her legs.

She forgot, how could she have forgotten? He went down on her all the time when they were together and always showed incredible enthusiasm, like it was his favorite thing in the world.

She had forgotten, and he was still the same, acting like he couldn’t wait to do it. She found out that not all guys were like that and most did it purely because they felt they had to. To get things in return.

Not him, he liked it and he knew what he was doing, he didn’t do that stupid alphabet thing that guys thought was so clever. She felt his breath on her inner thigh now and her legs were already shaking.

She tried to concentrate on the music, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Soul to Squeeze. But then she felt his tongue against her underwear and she let out a gasp, raking her hands through his hair. She felt him smile against her, then his hands coming up to her belly. He grasped her underwear and looked up at her.

“Can I take these off?”

“I’ll kill you if you don’t.”

He laughed and slid them down her legs, tossing them over his shoulder. She closed her eyes listening to the music and felt him lick her with the flat of his tongue and he groaned then.

“Oh, fuck Carol, so good.”

He said slowly still buried between her legs, she felt the vibration of his words against her. She almost lost it right there. Then he touched her, slid a finger inside her and her hips went off the bed. He brought one hand up and laid it flat against her stomach holding her in place, where he wanted her. He brought his head up to her stomach, kissing her there. Still moving his other hand, driving her crazy already.

“S’okay sweetheart, I got you.”

She nodded and he kissed down over her hip and down. She always came fast when he did this and he knew she would be tighter later if she came first.

When they were young they experimented a lot and were honest with each other about what was good and what wasn’t. And she always responded to him unlike anyone else ever did. He knew how to push her buttons and she knew how to push his.

She came twice before he would stop and she had begged him to stop after the first time. He wouldn’t, he wanted to pull as many orgasms from her as he could. It always made it better later.

His dick was so hard by this time, he knew if she touched him, it would be all over. It really had been a long time since he was with anyone, but it was different. It had always been different with her.

He stood up and unbuckled his pants the rest of the way and slid them off along with his boxers.

“Hurry up.” She said laughing, trying to touch him as he came down on top of her. She reached down and stroked her hand over him.

“S Stop, Carol, I’m gonna...”

He pulled her hand up and kissed her palm. Incubus was on now, somewhere Symphony of Destruction was on the iPod too. If it came on now he might lose his mind.

“Ready?” He said, kissing her softly.

“Ready.” She said.

Then he was inside her and they both let out a moan of relief as she wrapped her legs around him and he moved slowly. She was so tight, and he almost came right then. He tried to distract himself with no luck, this was too good.

She met his hips each time and then she felt him rolling her over on top of him. He was on his back now.

He always liked her on top and talking.

She moved against him and sat up, talking his hands and putting them on her chest. She watched his eyes roll back in his head.

“Oh, fuck… Carol…oh fuck yeah.” He said, almost yelled, totally lost in her now. Lost in all the sensations he was feeling. This might not last too long, he tried to think of something, anything to calm down, but he couldn’t. Not now.

“Come on.” She said leaning down to kiss him moving her hips against him. He groaned through the kiss. “Now, come on, now.” She said into his ear, then sat back up raking her nails along his chest and down.

She knew he loved that. He was really trying to hang on for more than five seconds, and she wasn’t helping at all.

He pictured Merle’s hairy ass and that helped a little. But he still felt like his heart was going to explode out of his chest. It was beating so hard.

“Now Pleasepleaseplease.” She whispered.

She was going to kill him, he thought, this was it, fucked to death.

He brought his hands down over her stomach to her hips and pulled her down. They were both starting to sweat, their skin sliding against each other.

“One more time baby.” He pleaded. “One more time for me.”

He said moving his hips up with each word. She felt the pressure building, although she couldn’t believe it. It was going to happen again. She threw her head back as she started to feel it, gave herself totally over to it again.

“Look at me.” He pulled on her hips, “Fucking look at me, Carol.”

She looked down and met his eyes as she cried out. He felt her all around him and she continued moving he couldn’t take much more. Between her words and her body he was about to explode. Then she stopped, suddenly.

She looked down at him.

“Do it.” She said. “Fuck me.”

He roared at her words and got her under him in record time. He pushed her knees back against her chest and pounded her letting himself go finally. He didn’t stop until he came letting out a string of curses that almost embarrassed him. Then he collapsed on top of her.

“Holy shit Carol.”

He pulled her close and she mumbled “Yeah.”

 

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

The sweat poured off of both of them and as he laid there still shocked that she was even here.

Four days ago he had been alone.

Alone and sad.

He knew it now, life had been a process of going through the motions all these years. But not really living. Because now? In this moment he felt alive and connected again.

This wasn’t like being in the bathroom of some bar, fucking some faceless woman just to get off.

It wasn’t even like it had been with them, when they were young and fumbling their way around each other’s bodies.

It was so much better and he never knew really if it was the sex high or what that made him say it, but he didn’t care. He felt it and he wasn’t holding back from her again. That got him a broken heart last time.

He grabbed her hand which was between them as they laid on their backs catching their breath.

“So.” He looked over at her. “I really fuckin hope you’re gonna marry me this time?”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)


	17. Nirvana Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is tamer than the last chapter, no worries.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

**_A/N: This is way tamer than the last chapter, But that was kind of fun to write. Thank you to everyone who reviews it means so much to me. I truly appreciate it._ **

****

                                                            Nirvana Girl

**_And I’ve never met a girl like you before._ **

**_You gave me a taste so I want more and more._ **

**_A Girl like You- Edwin Collins_ **

****

He stood in the doorway, leaning against the door frame watching her. Today he was the luckiest son of a bitch that walked the earth. He watched her, with her curly red hair that he loved to run his fingers through, piled up on top of her head. _He never thought he would get to do that again._

She was making him breakfast, singing to the music that played. He recognized the song from when they were kids. Edwin Collins, A Girl Like You. She didn’t know he was there watching her. She hummed and sang and wiggled around as she mixed eggs in a bowl. She was making French toast and drinking a cup of tea that was on the counter.

He watched her dancing and swaying her hips and thought about that scene in “A Perfect Storm” when Markey, Mark (He would always be Marky, Mark to Daryl no matter how many movies he was in). Mark Wahlberg says to George Clooney;

_“Capt’n I got a girl I can’t stand to be five feet away from.”_

That was him. He had lost her, twice and there would never be a third time. He had sent her away in such a horrible manner and yet here she was, making breakfast. This had been worth the wait, worth everything they went through. He was never letting her go.

Carol flipped the French toast in the frying pan and he came up behind her, putting his arms around her waist and pulling her against him. He nuzzled the back of her neck and she felt the shocks migrate down her spine. His touch still had that effect on her, even after all this time, even after last night. He swayed his hips with her as she danced, and she laughed that laugh that made him feel seventeen again.

She would never get tired of this feeling. The rest of her life was in front of her. It wasn’t the best situation, but it would work out somehow. She spoke to Abe this morning and Rosita was taking the kids shopping until dinner time and she would be home by then.

She was wearing one of his T-shirts and a pair of his boxer shorts, he was in sweat pants. They had just gotten up and it was almost noon. He kissed the back of her neck and she shrugged him away as she turned around. She tried to get away from his grip, but now he had his hands on her waist and was pulling her closer to him and her back was to the counter. Then he started kissing her neck in the front and every few kisses was a bite, softly. She felt her toes curling, she was sure of it. She closed her eyes and gave herself over to it for just a minute.

“I’m going to burn this if you keep that up.” She waved the spatula at him.

“Don’t care...” He leaned in to kiss her hot and dirty. “Come back to bed.”

Well, when he kissed her like that she was following him wherever he wanted her to go. He turned off the stove and took her by the hand. She put the spatula down on the counter.

“We just got up.” She said, not really meaning it.

“Don’t care.” He smiled backing up pulling her by the hand. “Either come back to bed or I’m throwing you up on the counter.”

“Promises, promises.” She laughed.

_I’ll throw you up on the counter. He would do it and not think twice about it._

His cellphone beeped from the kitchen table. Merle had called twice to gloat and texted him four times. He hadn’t answered him yet, he was sure Merle was having a shit fit not knowing what was going on. Daryl was letting him stew

First it was: **_Where are ya brother?_**

Then it was: **_Wake up douchebag, I don’t care if you’re hungover._**

Then it was: **_Holy shit!!!!_**

Finally: ** _Is she still there?_**

Merle was a big pain in the ass. He let it go to voice mail. It wasn’t Merle that time though, it was the school. Travis was suspended from school that morning and Karen was at work, so they tried to call Daryl.

“You’re not getting that?”

“Nope, I’m getting you.”

He picked her up in his arms and was just turning to go down the hall with her laughing.

Travis came busting in the back door just then and they both jumped. He put her down quickly as Travis came around the corner into the kitchen. Carol turned and thanked God she put on cloths to cook breakfast. Daryl had his arm around her shoulders.

“Oh Jesus, Dad, I’m sorry. Shit.” Travis said. Looking at them, but trying not to look.

He was covering his eyes, trying not to die of embarrassment. This was about the worst thing he could ever walk into. He was mortified, his father never had women here. He never even met any women involved with his father, if there were any. It was a non-subject. His Uncle Merle and Andrea once in a while would say things, but his father was not about it, at all.

He always came and went as he pleased here and at his Mom’s. He had grown up going from house to house, they were so nearby. It never occurred to him to knock, or anything, He didn’t have to

He actually had never heard his father even talk about a woman, come to think of it.

That’s why Uncle Merle was so worried about him. Well, worry no more Unk, he would shoot him a text as soon as he got out of here. Out of this horribly awkward situation.

She was dressed in his father’s cloths, he knew that Circle Jerks shirt. How embarrassing and he didn’t even have a shirt on. Good God, Travis was just going to die. It had been a bad day already, he didn’t know if he should laugh, crawl under a rock or what.

“Travis, its ok, come on in, you ok, something happen at school.” Daryl said.

He was concerned, he wasn’t expecting Travis today, and although he was welcome anytime he wanted to come over. It was just a surprise that was all. School wasn’t out yet either, that meant trouble.

“Yeah it’s nothing, I’ll go, text me later.” Travis said, thinking he was home free.

He was about to leave when Carol spoke up from next to Daryl as Daryl was stepping forward to stop him.

“No Please, Travis, I’m Carol.” She said. “Do you like French toast?”

He looked at Daryl who nodded, so then he nodded.

“I love French toast.” He replied.

 

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

As they sat at the breakfast table after they ate, Daryl grabbed for his cigarettes and lighter that were on a shelf next to the table. Travis eyeballed him as he put the cigarette in his mouth and lit it. Carol laughed a little remembering their conversation from last night about their kids.

Travis was there because he got in trouble at school for punching a kid who was picking on one of his friends, a girl.

Daryl was sure it was a girl he liked named Marcy and maybe the guy was touching her and Travis didn’t like it. That wasn’t really a good reason to fight, and Travis had been told about this. He would have to talk this over with him later.

He was suspended from school for three days. Carol couldn’t help looking at him, he looked just like his father when he was young except the hair. They had told Travis they were old friends. That was all, no need to get into anything yet.

Daryl didn’t condone fighting, but he was not upset that he defended someone. That was Travis. That was Daryl too actually, she knew that. Karen was not going to be happy though, which was why Travis came to his father. Daryl was a little more understanding when there were issues, and sometimes he would have to talk Karen and Tyreese down so that Travis didn’t lose every privilege known to man over dumb things. Fighting though, that couldn’t go on, no matter who the girl was.

He was going to have to go to the school later and talk to the principle, not for the first time either. He would stop and pick up Karen and they would go together as usual. They were both familiar faces at the school, always going together to parent conferences and back to school night.

Travis opened his mouth to say what he always says when his father lit up. Daryl cut him right off, he was not going to be scolded by his kid in front of Carol.

“What? I’m cutting down. Shut your mouth kid.” He laughed.

“Sure Dad.”

Travis heard the next song come on the stereo, they had put Carol’s iPod on that morning. You wouldn’t like me by Tegan and Sara was playing.

Travis listened and turned to Daryl. “Since when do you listen to Tegan and Sara?”

“Since yesterday. He laughed and pointed to Carol. “That’s Carol’s iPod, but I kinda like them.”

Travis considered this, he started thinking about something, and it was way back in his head trying to get out. He felt like he should know something and it was out of his reach. Something tucked away in his brain.

“Yeah me too Dad.”

“Travis, do you like OAR.”

He nodded.

“I saw them in concert a few times. Great show. They toured with Jimmy Eat World two summers ago, great show.”

“You like music huh, Carol?” Travis asked.

“Love it like air.” She smiled. “Who’s your favorite band?”

“Ever hear of Mumford and sons?”

“Yup, they’re good.”

“I like all kinds of music, all that stuff he listens too.”

She nodded. “Me too.”

She smiled at Daryl and then her eyes fell on the table. Carol looked at the lighter and cigarettes, laying on the table. It was the lighter. The one she bought him, seventeen years ago for his birthday.

“Daryl, you still have that?” She asked surprised, reaching for it to look at it. She remembered the last time she saw it. In the garage, before he married Karen. That horrible day when he had kissed her and then said he didn’t love her.

She turned it around in her hand. Her eyes growing soft. He still had it after all this time.

“Course, why wouldn’t I?”

Travis looked at her, he was his father’s son, smart and observant. C- Carol D- Daryl the initials on the lighter. It didn’t take him long to figure it out. He knew who Carol was, that’s what had been dancing around in the back of his mind. It all fell into place now. This was too good, he thought to himself.

He turned to Carol with a slight smile, he looked just like his father she thought to herself...when he was young. His whole face lit up when he smiled and his eyes twinkling blue like Daryl’s. He looked like the cat who ate the canary.

“You're Nirvana girl.” Travis suddenly said.

She laughed. “What?”

He nodded at her, he was sure. She had bought that lighter and had it engraved for his father. She was the one.

“Yup, you are.”

He looked over at Daryl, then at Carol.

“When I was around six or seven, I asked him about that lighter, cause you know those aren’t his initials, remember Dad?” He turned to Daryl.

Daryl nodded, knowing exactly where this was going, but he let Travis continue.

“He said it was a gift from someone, well I’m not stupid, I knew it was from a girl, but he wouldn’t say. In case you didn’t know, he don’t talk a whole lot.” He said to Carol and she smiled.” So all he would say was just that the person who gave it to him was never going to talk to him again.”

Carol’s eye grew soft hearing this part of the boy’s story. It was true, they might not have talked again. Fate or the planets aligning, or her father’s intercession brought her back here. It might not have ever happened though.

The fact that he carried that lighter around every day as a reminder just about broke her heart all over again.

“Then another time he said it was a girl that was the reason he listened to all that grunge music sometimes.” Travis said.

She looked from Travis to Daryl this story was tearing her up inside. But she kept it together, this was the past now. They had a future now.

“Well I know him. There hasn’t been many girls in his life. I figured Nirvana Girl was before my Mom, because he, well, hell you’re the first one I ever even met. Not in my whole life has a girl been here, that I know of.”

“Thanks Trav.” Daryl took a long drag on his cigarette laughing. His kid just told her what a wallflower he had become.

“So I figured he got the lighter from Nirvana girl, C for Carol, D for Daryl.”

He pointed to her casually. Breaking into a smile that reminded her of Daryl in every way. The way he grinned and quirked his eyebrows. One hundred percent Daryl.

“Nirvana girl.” He smiled at her.

****

**_A/N: Tegan and Sara are great, check them out. OAR and Jimmy Eat World never toured together that I know of. I lied to serve my evil purpose. Hope you like, let me know what you think._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :) Let me know what you think :)


	18. 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Words to a really sweet song. Sorry I haven't done that in a few chapters. :)  
> I don't own it. Hope you like. Let me know :)

**_When your legs don’t work like they used to before, and I can’t sweep you off of your feet._ **

**_Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love? Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?_ **

**_And, darling I will be loving you till I’m 70, and baby my heart can still fall as hard at 23._ **

**_And I’m thinking bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways, maybe just a touch of a hand._ **

**_Well, me I fall in love with you every single day. And I just want to tell you I am._ **

**_So honey now, take me into your loving arms._ **

**_Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars. Place your head on my beating heart._ **

**_I’m thinking out loud, Maybe we found love right where we are._ **

**_\- Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran_ **

****

Travis left after breakfast assuring his father he was going home and would tell Karen what was going on. He would, he wasn’t a bad kid.

By now it was almost three o’clock and she would have to go home soon. They had agreed that she wasn’t coming back tonight, but staying home with the girls. He had things to handle with Travis anyway, the principle was going to meet him and Karen at the school at four thirty. There was hope that Travis wouldn’t be suspended after all.

She sipped her tea and watched him, he had something to say, she knew.

He would say it when he wanted to. He took a sip of his coffee then looked at her. Then took another sip of coffee.

“I meant what I said.” He told her. “It wasn’t just because...”

“I know.” She said watching him blush trying to get this out. She listened because she knew he wasn’t done.

“I saw you took your rings off, I know you were wearing them Saturday.”

“Tara wants to hock them and go on a cruise. I’ve never been on a cruise. I’m kind of excited.” She said laughing, thinking of where her rings now sat. In Yoda’s belly.

“So that’s it then, you’re really getting divorced.” He asked, his eyes hopeful.

She nodded.

“I am.”

“He gonna come here, ya think?” He asked.

“Maybe, are you worried about something?”

“I wanna make sure you and your kids are ok.” He put the cup down. “Safe.”

She smiled wide at him. He was worried about her, just that little thing meant the world to her. He was worried about her kids in a way that their own father never did.

He was a good man, he always had been.

“You have met my brother right?”

“Yeah, but you’ll let me know if things get bad, sometimes they do. You know?” He hoped she got what he was saying. “No more secrets, right?”

He and Karen had an amicable divorce, but he knew lots of people who didn’t. Rick and Lori for one, and one of the waitresses at the diner for another. He ex stalked her, she had to file a restraining order. Something told him Carol’s husband wasn’t right somehow. He saw trouble coming, he and Abe and Merle would handle it though. Whatever came their way, they had this.

“No secrets, not if we’re engaged now.” She said grinning at him. ”Unless you want to take it back.”

“Not only do I not want to take it back, I want to get married as soon as proper after you’re divorce, is that bad?”

She nodded. “It’s bad, but I don’t really care, Michonne says it should be done in three months, that gives us lots of time to figure things out.”

“Really? We’re really going to?” He said like he couldn’t quite believe it still. He really couldn’t, she was sitting in his kitchen and they were making plans again.

He had won the lottery.

“I don’t want to wait.” She said. “I’m too old to play hard to get.”

He huffed at that. “You aint old.”

“I just don’t want to wait.” She smiled. “We have a life to make together and it’s about time, don’t ya think?”

“Me either, but your girls…”

“Will love you, we’ll figure that out tomorrow.” She reached over to his hand. “Don’t worry so much.”

“I’ll miss you tonight.” He said.

“No, you never have to miss me again Daryl. I promise.” She stood up still holding his hand. “Those days are over for both of us.”

“It’s just one night, I know there’s going to be some. I just won’t like it.”

He pulled her into a hug, enveloping her in his strong arms. She felt so loved and protected in his arms. It was an incredible feeling.

“I don’t ever want to be apart from you again.” She hugged him tight. “We’re going to be fine.”

They stood there hugging in the kitchen for what seemed like a long time. There was music playing and it was almost like they were dancing.

 

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////  


Daryl sat outside the school in his truck waiting for Karen and Travis. He was going to pick them up, but they had plans for after so they decided to meet at the school. His phone rang again and he frowned when he saw it was Merle. He had put him off all day, it was time to face the music. Merle would just keep calling anyway so he just decided to answer.

So he answered. “Hey Brother.”

“Hey yourself, brother, I just got a text from Travis saying you were holed up at home with some red headed MILF.” He cackled into the phone.

Daryl groaned.

“Well he said the red head part, but I’m sure……”

Daryl cut him off. “What do you need Merle.”

“A thank you would be nice.” Merle said. “I know damn well she would have been half way to Pittsburg or wherever she lives by now. Me kicking your ass, was good huh?”

“Yeah, I know, she aint going back Merle.” He said looking around to make sure Travis and Karen weren’t there. “Michonne’s filing divorce papers tomorrow.”

Merle burst out laughing in true Merle fashion. He just couldn’t stop himself, this was too good. This was better than he had imagine actually. He wanted to get Daryl to talk to her and work out their past. So Daryl could move on. He never expected this, not with his brother’s track record.

“It’s that Dixon charm brother, why do you think I never mess with married ladies. Once you get a taste of…”

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s it Merle.” He said looking out the window. Karen had just pulled up.

“I gotta go Karens here, we got to go beg the school not to suspend your nephew.”

“Yeah, he told me, he takes after us.”

Travis bounced out of the car and came to the window as Daryl was rolling it up and getting out of his truck. Karen was getting out and walking around to him, slinging her purse over her shoulder.

“I gotta go Merle, I’ll call you later.”

“Make sure you do. I wanna double date now.” He started laughing again.

Daryl hung up the phone and greeted Karen with a hug. They had an odd friendship, but it worked for them. They realized early in the marriage that they weren’t in love and ended it quickly. They didn’t want Travis to be hurt if they divorced when he was older. It was a very mature decision for two young people at the time.

They were good friends, and it was genuine, they did care about each other.

They just never should have gotten married.

She had married Tyreese when Travis was two, he was the love of her life. He was a good man and good to Travis and that went a long way with Daryl.

“That was Uncle Merle.” He said to Travis.

“Uh Oh.” Travis said.

Karen looked at them, with a puzzled expression.

“What else Travis, tell me now, before we go in.” She said, placing her hands on her hips.

“It’s nothing Mom.” He grinned looking at his father. “Except Dad’s got a girl.”

“Trav why don’t you take an add in the paper, Yeah?”

He said lighting a cigarette. Karen turned to Travis.

“Honey why don’t you go sign us in, Dad and I’ll be there in a minute, ok.”

Travis nodded, he knew he was being dismissed, so he just turned and walked towards the school. His parents were going to have adult talk now. He was used to this, whenever he fucked up, there was adult talk.

“Look he came over, we were making breakfast.” He said taking a drag on the cigarette. “Not a big deal ok?”

Karen nodded, a slight smile on her lips as she nodded. She was happy for him, he watched as a big smile erupted on her face.

“That’s great Daryl.”

They started to walk to the school.

“When do I get to meet her? Hmmm?”

He threw the cigarette down on the ground and put it out as they walked.

“You know her already.” “That waitress from the diner, Merle was talking about.” She asked.

“Karen she’s gay, no it’s Carol Parker. You remember her? Right?”

Karen stopped walking. He turned back. Karen looked like she was trying to process this.

“Carol, the one who came here before our wedding, that Carol?”

He rolled his eyes and then looked back at her. She started to walk towards him. He was bracing himself for whatever she had to say. He didn’t care, nothing was coming between him and Carol again. Karen would just have to suck it up and deal. If her feelings were hurt she could cry to Ty about it. That was his job to deal with her if she got upset.

This was a non-subject.

He opened the door for her, waiting for her to say something.

“Jesus. Daryl……Marry her, like yesterday.”

She said as she joined him walking into the school.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.


	19. 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few meetings and some answers.

Lovely, you’re always so lovely. A vision, you were the one.

Love and Memories- by Of a Revolution (OAR)

 

Carol and Abe cooked dinner together while Rosita was still out with the kids. She could not remember being so happy. She was humming to the radio dancing and trying to get Abe to dance. Abe Parker did not dance, and he hadn’t seen his sister dance in a good long time. It made him so very happy, she was almost back to normal. They worked together in the kitchen side by side and every once in a while she would bump his hip.

“So, what’s the plan sis?” Abe said as he was cutting vegetables for a salad and some to grill.

“Well, when Rosie gets home we’re barbequing right?” She looked at him sideways, smiling, she knew what he was asking. “Then A Few Good Men, right?”

“Well, I see you got your smart attitude back.”

He hip checked her and kept cutting the vegetables, Rosita was vegetarian and he was not. Dinner at their house was quite a production. Carol was loving it though and so were the girls.

“Michonne is filing papers tomorrow.”

He nodded. Fully prepared to do whatever kept his sister and her kids safe.

“You expecting a visit after that.”

She shrugged, she wasn’t really sure if Ed would bother. But then she had misread him in the past and paid the price. It could go either way really. One thing was for sure, he would not make this easy. She knew that.

“You know if he comes around between Daryl and me, he’ll get a beat down if he can’t be a gentleman.”

“I know, I’m not worried, I know we’re safe here.”

“Lizzie said they want to stay here forever.” He said.

“She did?”

Carol stopped what she was doing and turned to him. And he nodded.

“What exactly did she say?”

“I never want to leave here Uncle Abe.”

Carol leaned against the counter, wiping her hands on the dishtowel. What was it they said? Out of the mouths of babes.

“I always tried to hide it from them, but I guess they knew.”

“Mika said they don’t like when Ed is home, and they love going to The Island in the summer without him.”

“So I should tell them, sooner rather than later?” She asked. “What about Daryl? I don’t know what to tell them. He’s going to be around, we want to be together.”

Abe walked over closer to her. Enveloping her in a huge hug.

“It’s going to be fine. Bring him around slowly, they’ll take one look at the way he treats you and fall in love too.”

“Abe, do you think I’m being too hasty, jumping from Ed to Daryl so fast, people will think I’m a floozy.”

He leaned against the counter next to her.

“Fuck ‘em. It’s your life.”

“He asked me to marry him and I said yes, and we want to do it fast.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less.” He said. “It’s not like you two don’t know each other, you know each other possibly better than two people could.”

“It’s like we wasted too much time already.” She said as her phone buzzed on the kitchen table, she went to go get it. She smiled when she saw who the text was from.

Travis is still suspended and grounded.

She quickly texted him back and then turned to Abe.

Abe was grinning like a fool.

“What?”

“I’m just so glad you’re happy, I haven’t seen you smile that way in so long.”

He turned back to his vegetables.

“I always liked him.” He said.

 

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Carol laid in her bed with her three daughters later on that night. They were all bathed and in their pajama’s. This was something she always did with them. No matter what, she would read to them and cuddle. No time like the present she thought to herself.

“Girls, I want to talk to you.” She said, sitting up a little in the bed. She looked at their beautiful faces, hoping this wasn’t going to hurt them. “Come here cuddle up close.”

She took a deep breath, this was a hard conversation to have.

“What would you guys say if I told you we weren’t going back to Philadelphia?”

They looked at her.

“Would you want to stay here?”

Lizzie looked up at her.

“I’s Daddy coming here too?”

Carol thought about how to answer this. She decided the truth was the best thing.

“No, honey, he's not, we’re getting a divorce.” She said. "It will just be us here with Auntie Rosie and Uncle Abe."

She expected them to cry or something but not one of them did. 

Then Sophia spoke. She conveyed everything the three of them felt in one word.

“Good.” She said.

The other two nodded their heads.

That was easier than she thought.

 

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

Ed called her on Friday when he got the papers and true to form and as expected he didn’t react well.

He screamed at Carol so much that she had to hold the phone away from her ear. She was with Daryl at the time they were sitting at the end of Green’s road, in a few minutes she was taking him to meet her girls. She didn’t want them finding out about him by accident.

“Who are you fucking Carol?” He yelled into the phone, Daryl was starting to get pissed but she waved him off. “I know you’re fucking someone because you haven’t been fucking me.”

He yelled and yelled. That was all he ever did, but now she wasn’t afraid and she wouldn’t cower to him.

“I’ll take those kids right away from you, you whoring bitch. You will never see them again.”

Carol was ready for this. She had been preparing for this conversation for two years.

“I’m not fucking you because you suck at it and I kind of feel sorry for that skank Kim.” She replied trying to keep her cool. “Yeah, I know about that and I have a picture of you with her. So don’t start any of your bullshit.”

“You don’t have any picture, you’re bluffing.” He said.

“Right, I have a picture of you kissing her in the parking lot at Jefferson with a date stamp of fourteen months ago.”

There was silence on the other side of the phone. She had told Michonne she was afraid he would accuse her of adultery and try and take the kids. Michonne assured her of what a lot of people didn’t know.

The court hardly ever took a child away from a mother. People still thought if a mother was caught cheating that she would lose her kids. The truth was, unless there was a picture or video, there was no case. 

Very few states were as strict about it now anyway. And since Carol was a resident of New Jersey and Pennsylvania established by her holding nursing licenses in both states and working in both. She didn’t have to worry about any of that. She would have to go to court up North just twice and in three months she would be free to marry Daryl.

Ed didn’t know that though so he continued to rant. She felt Daryl behind her rubbing her shoulders. He was so good at helping her relax.

“Who is this motherfucker, because I’m going to kill him. I’ll kill you for this. Don’t you be bring any of your losers around my kids.”

“Ed, I’m going to hang up now, I’m sorry you feel the way you do, please don’t contact me unless you can be civil. Feel free to call the girls if you want.”

She hit the end button and turned to Daryl.

“Did you get all of it?”

He nodded and held up his phone, he had recorded it all. It was just a stroke of luck that they had been together.

“He’s all talk, don’t even give it another thought Daryl. Let’s go we have a Carnival to go to.”

 

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

Carol brought him into the house and the kids could be heard outside playing. She had met Travis totally by accident and that had worked out fine. She hoped this wasn’t too much for the girls to handle all at once. She was going to find out pretty soon.

They stood at the window for a second and watched her little girls running around the back yard. There was no place to run around in Philadelphia. 

“They’re beautiful girls.” He said. “Just like their Mamma.”

He rubbed her arm and kissed the side of her head.

“Are you sure Carol?”

She shook her head. “Not really.”

“Maybe this isn’t...”

“No, we have to. Come on.”

She led him to the door and they went outside on the deck. They both sat down on the steps and Carol called them over to her.

“Girls I want you to meet a friend of mine, from before when I used to live here with Grandpa and Uncle Abe.”

The girls looked at her and Daryl, her oldest, Sophia studied Daryl’s face.

“This is Daryl, he was my friend a long time ago and now he’s my friend again.”

“My Mommy had pictures of you, in a photo album she keeps in her closet.” Sophia said matter of factly. “You’re the boy with the truck, there’s a picture of Mommy sitting on the truck and you too, sitting behind her, with your arms around her.”

Well, he thought to himself, that kid didn't miss a trick.

“Soph, when were you in my closet?” Carol asked.

“Oh, Mommy, Soph and I were playing hide and seek with Miss Patricia, when you were working, it fell off the shelf.” Lizzie said.

“There’s a picture of Mommy laying on the hood of the truck too.” Sophia said. “Mr. Daryl, like some kind of movie star, did you take that picture?”

He nodded. “Yes I did.” He remembered taking that picture of her. 

“Wanna see it? Mommy has the album with her, I saw it.”

Carol interrupted for a minute. He did want to see it, though, he remembered what happened after he took that picture of her too.

“Maybe later, we have a carnival to go to, right?” She said. “Daryl is going to drive us. Is that ok girls?”

They all nodded. Then Mika spoke up.

“Are there going to be clowns there, we do not like clowns Mr. Daryl.”

He looked over at Carol, she had transferred that fear she had to her kids. She smiled and shrugged her shoulders. He remembered that night talking to her on the phone when they first met and were getting to know each other. She told him about that and he guessed she told them that too.

“Me either.” He said.

 

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

They were driving to the Carnival in Daryl’s truck and the girls were chattering amongst themselves and laughing. Carol was breathing a sigh of relief that they seemed ok so far. The girls were just happy to be going out and she thought maybe they noticed she wasn’t on edge like she was in Philadelphia.

“Can we get Ice cream?” Lizzie asked. “Before dinner, it’s a special occasion isn’t it?”

“Sure.” Carol said laughing Lizzie was always the one looking for an angle.

“And popcorn.” Mika said.

“MmmHmm.” Carol said. “And then you’ll get a belly ache.”

“Hey Mom.” Sophia said. “How are we going to get our stuff?”

“I’ll have to go to Philly, I guess.” Carol said.

“It’s going to be Halloween in a few weeks, our costumes are there.” Sophia said sounding worried.

“We can get you new ones don’t worry.” She said looking back at them.

“But what about yours?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll get another one.” Carol replied reaching back and taking Sophia’s hand.

“Hey, Mr. Daryl, my Mommy dresses up as the same character every year, she has the best costume.”

“She does, huh?” Why did she have to leave it in Philly, he knew what it was. He knew her. He imagined what she would look like in that costume.

“Wanna guess who Mommy dresses up as?”

“Don’t gotta guess, I know.” He said. “And you can call me Daryl, just Daryl ok girls.”

They all nodded three little heads bobbing in the back seat.

“So you know? Who is it then?” Lizzie said.

“Yeah, who is it.” Sophia said.

Before Mika chimed in too he decided to answer them. He wasn’t used to all these kids, he only ever had one talking to him at any given time.

“Harley Quinn.”

“Wow, Mr. I mean Daryl, you do know Mommy, don’t you?”

He stole a glance towards Carol and she was smiling. He reached over and ran his hand over hers lightly. He squeezed her hand and she squeezed back. He knew her alright, and she knew him.

They were off to a good start so far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always for reading


	20. 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This took me so long, I'm sorry for the wait.  
> Let me know what you think. :)

I wanna taste love and pain. Wanna feel pride and shame, I don’t wanna take my time. Don’t wanna waste one line.

Could Have Been Me- by The Struts

 

 

Travis was hanging out by the funnel cake stand with his best friend George and a couple of girls from school. He had climbed out his window because Jenny had texted him and said she and Allison were going to the carnival. He knew he was grounded for fighting, but it was Allison.

She was his girl. Well, he hoped she would be someday soon.

His mother and Tyreese were watching some Zombie show on TV so they didn’t even hear him jump down onto the garage out of his window and then to the ground.

It was their favorite TV show after all. They made such a big deal about it, cooking special food to eat while they were watching it. Planning their day around it, when it was on. They even had people over for the premier this year.

Travis didn’t get it at all, but whatever they were two very happy people, who liked the same things and Travis had always liked Tyreese.

They were two peas in a pod watching their crazy show.

His father? He might just get a happy ending too. Travis thought Carol was the shit, and he could totally believe why his father had been missing her all his life.

Travis liked Allison, she was the girl he slugged that kid over. Jenny said Allison specifically asked for Travis to come meet them. So he was out the door like his ass was on fire.

He never thought he would get caught. He had been having a great time and had almost gotten the nerve to ask her out when he wasn’t grounded any more.

He never expected to see his father come walking up. But he had been at the fair with Carol and the kids for about two hours. They had put them on all the rides they wanted and were going to get ice cream when he spotted him.

He was so busted it wasn’t funny. He thought he would just hang out a while and then climb back in his window. His mother would never have known.

That wasn’t going to work now. But he would take it like a man that was what Dixons did.

Daryl knew all these kids, had known them since they were young. And just as he thought, there was Allison, hanging right next to him practically on his lap.

How many times had he and Carol done the same things he was doing. Too many to count.

He excused himself from Carol and her kids and walked over to where Travis was sitting on a picnic table with his back to Daryl, but George saw him.

“Heads up Trav, it’s your Dad.”

Travis turned around and his face dropped. Oh shit.

“Dad.” He gulped still trying to keep his cool.

“Travis.” Daryl said.

“Didn’t think I’d see you here.”

The other kids all said hello to him too, but they could tell Travis was going to get it when he got home.

Daryl laughed. “Obviously.”

“You here with Nirvana girl?” Travis asked.

Daryl nodded and said hello to Travis’s friends. He knew all of these kids since they were in kindergarten. He wasn’t going to bust Travis is front of his friends, but he wasn’t letting him get away with this either.

“Come on Travis time to go.”

Travis got up and followed Daryl after he said goodbye to everyone. Allison made the ‘call me’ sign to him with her hand to her ear. Travis grinned like a fool, a very happy fool.

It was worth getting his ass kicked maybe,

They started walking back to where Carol and the girls were standing and Travis was surprised she had children with her. He hadn’t thought that she had kids. 

“Come on Dad, tell me you never snuck out of your house to meet a girl.” He said, casually pointing towards Carol. “I bet you snuck out all the time to see her.”

“Well, we aint talking about me and I’m calling your mother, so she won’t be worried.” Daryl said.

They reached Carol and her kids and she smiled at Travis.

“Hey Travis.” She said.

“Hey.” He said.

“This is Daryl’s son Travis girls.” She said as they stood behind her. “Travis, this is Sophia, Lizzie and Mika.”

He said hello to them, and they waved at him as they looked up at his face. Travis saw Daryl take out his phone and watched Daryl dialing. 

He was so busted, it wasn’t even funny, but at least his father didn’t embarrass him in front of his friends and Allison.

“I got to call Karen, he snuck out.” He said to Carol, who then turned to Travis and gave him a little wink.

“Hmmm, imagine that?” Carol said rolling her eyes at him. “Wonder where he got that from.”

“Not helping.” He said laughing at her, but he was smiling.

Daryl backed away from them and dialed Karen.

Travis smiled at Carol and was about to tell her thank you. He had already noticed his father was a lot mellower since she came on the scene. 

A few weeks ago he might have gotten an asskicking, but his father was different now. He was happy.

He also knew damn well he deserved the ass kicking.

Lizzie looked up at Travis with her eyes wide. “You snuck out of your house.”

Travis squatted down to meet her eyes and the other two girls came closer.

“Cause I’m a dunmbass.” He looked over at Carol and mouthed sorry for cursing. She nodded and smiled at him. “Nobody should sneak out of their house, it’s not a good thing to do ok?”

“How old are you Travis?” Sophia asked.

“Thirteen, how old are you?”

“Nine.”

He stood up and the little girls all stood next to him. They were enthralled with this older kid who would pay attention to them.

“Wow you’re almost as big as me.” He picked up Mika. “How about you?”

Daryl got off the phone with Karen and walked back to Carol and the four kids. They just stood there looking at them all talking together. He knocked his shoulder into hers and smiled.

Travis was saying something about not having any good music influences around here and if their mother hadn’t known his father he’d be listening to Johnny Cash the rest of his life.

“Who’s Johnny Cash?” One of them asked and Daryl just shook his head at them. He took her hand, it felt so good, being with her and all the kids.

He wasn’t even mad at Travis. Travis was right, Daryl did sneak out of his house at night so go see Carol. On many a night he would roll his truck down the long drive way when everyone was asleep and pop the clutch to start it out on the road, so no one woke up.

This was why he was wise to what his kid was up to all the time, and could predict his behavior. He knew this girl Allison was the one he fought over and here he has out with her.

Time to talk some more to the boy, but not tonight.

“Trav, I’m dropping you off at ya Mom’s. She aint too happy with you and neither am I.”

He said walking over to them.

“Grounded for two weeks now Trav, it was nice knowing ya.” He said rubbing his hand over his head.

 

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

Carol waited in the car while Daryl brought Travis back to Karen’s and went in to talk to her. He came back out and got in the car. He happened to look her way and she was grinning. Thinking about her father and the first time he met Daryl. He woke him up from his slumber on her front porch with his boot across his neck. Her father had loved him since.

“What’s so funny?”

“Just thinking about my Dad.”

He turned back and the girls were all asleep. Then he put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head.

“He would be happy about this, you know.” She said to him as he pulled her closer to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)


	21. 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This feels like a filler but, I have to get through some things first so, thank you for reading and hanging in with this :)

A/N: Sorry this took so long, but here’s a little update.

They drove back to Carol’s brother’s house listening to the radio and the kids were talking a mile a minute until one by one they fell asleep in the back seat. Their bellies were full of junk food and they had a wonderful time at the fair. They were all in love with Travis. He had a way with kids that impressed his father. 

As the drove home later Lizzie had asked him to turn up the radio at one point because Carol’s favorite song was on. “That’s Mommy’s favorite song!”

“Tonight, Tonight” and Lizzie sung every word.

He knew it of course, he remembered that song, the day she pulled up at the garage it was playing in her car. He looked over at her and took her hand. That had been a long time ago and they had both come so far.

When they got to her house, he helped her carry the girls in, because they were all sleeping now. Abe came out so that all three children were brought in at the same time.

Carol and Daryl sat down on the porch steps after the kids were tucked in. Rosie and Abe were getting drinks and then they would come outside and join them.

“Do you know how many nights we sat out here when we were kids?” She said.

“Like every night, I fell asleep out here one night, Jim got me in the morning.” Daryl said.

She looked over at him. She didn’t know about the first time he met her father. Neither one of them had ever told her.

“He did?” She asked.

“I woke up with a boot on my neck.”

Carol started to laugh. “Only my father, and he liked you a lot, even after I left, he would say if he saw you around town.”

He took her hand and kissed it.

“Liked him too.” He said and she smiled. “Loved him.”

He put his arm around her.

“Well, it’s been five days, no word from up north hmm?” He asked.

She shook her head. “He won’t call again.”

“I dunno sis.” Abe said as he and Rosie came out with sodas for everyone. “He’s kind of a dick, I’d be real surprised if he took this laying down.”

He handed them the drinks and he and Rosie sat down with them. It was dark except for the moon and they could hear the crickets in the distance.

“I don’t trust him at all Carol.” Abe started.

“I didn’t ask for anything, he won’t have alimony because Daryl and I are getting married as soon as the ink is dry on the papers. Maybe it will be easy.” Carol said. “He read the papers I’m sure and sees its best if he doesn’t pull any crap.”

“It was you who told me about all his threats, sis. I just think we should be prepared is all.” Abe said.

Carol nodded placing her head on Daryl’s shoulder.

“You need to be prepared to go from one child to four.” She nudged his shoulder. “And girls. They bring the drama.”

“I’ll be fine.” He rubbed his hand over her shoulder. “I got this.”

“Abe, we’ve been wanting to talk to you guys.” Carol turned to them. “Ok, Daryl, for us to ask now?”

He nodded.

“We want to know if we can do it here, maybe by the pond and then have a small party here.”

Rosita let out a squeal. “Yes.” She cried. “It’s going to be so great!”

Rosita refused to marry Abe, but she was excited for Carol. She deserved a break in Rosita’s opinion.

“We both had the big wedding already and we don’t want a big thing this time.” Daryl said.

“Do the girls know?” Rosita asked.

Carol shook her head. “Not yet, we are taking it one thing at a time.”

“Ok.” Abe said. “Mums the word, but now about your dick ex-husband.”

“He’s threatened you before Carol.” Rosita said and she watched the look on Daryl’s face go from happy to dark in that moment.

“I’m not afraid of him, not anymore, he’s called a few times and said he wanted to come see the kids. I told him its fine because he won’t pursue it, he doesn’t have time.” Carol said. “He’s too wrapped up in his ego at work and fucking the scrub nurse.”

“Ok, he comes around here though, I got Dad’s shot gun.” Abe said.

“I know you do.” Carol said smiling.

“And I will not hesitate.” Abe said.

“You guys coming to Rick’s barbeque tomorrow?” Carol asked her brother.

“Wouldn’t miss it.” Rosita said.

“I’ve missed everyone, I’m so glad to be back.” Carol said looking up at the sky, thanking God for bringing her home finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you all think :)


	22. 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. Life ahhhhh.  
> Thank you to everyone who reads, I truly love you all

Daryl sat on the front porch of Carol and Abe’s the next night waiting for everyone to get ready to go to Rick’s for the cook out. Michonmne and Tara were meeting them there with Beth. Karen was bringing Travis to Carol’s any minute. 

Merle and Andrea were already there helping Rick get the kids ready. Daryl wondered how it would be with Carol and Merle now. She said she had let that go long ago, he wondered though. Shane and Merle had done her dirty. Daryl had made peace with that a long time ago, he just hoped she had.

He took these few minutes to think, so much had happened in this short time. He lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply. Beside him was a takeout cup of coffee.

He was still in shock that she was back in his life. She wouldn’t get away again, he thought to himself as he drank his coffee. They were in this together now, no matter what.

He hoped she and Merle could forgive each other.

Lizzie opened the door and came out side. He looked up and her and smiled as she sat down with him. He bumped her shoulder with his and grinned at her.

“Hey squirt, what’s going on?”

“Are you going to marry mommy?” Lizzie asked as if she was asking what time it was.

He almost choked on his coffee. Kids didn’t pull any punches, he knew from Travis and his endless questions all the time. But he was surprised just the same.

Lizzie was just like her mother that was for sure.

“You love her, I can tell, you know her favorite song.”

He looked at her, it was all so simple to a child. “I do, I have loved your mother all my life.”

“It’s ok with us, my sisters and I we like you and Travis.” She said. “We saw the way you look at her, like she’s the best thing you ever saw.”

“She is.” He said tossing the cigarette in a butt can Carol had put out there for him.

“What took you so long though?”

Lizzie saw Karen’s car coming up the drive way and they both stood up. Lizzie saw Travis get out of the car and she went running to him. She jumped into his arms and hugged him.

“Hey squirt.” He said as he put her down.

Daryl walked over to the window where Karen was. “Thanks for bringing him, I know you’re pissed off at him.”

She nodded. “I am but keeping him from your night with him isn’t how I’m going to do things.”

“Thanks I’ll bring him back by ten.”

“Okay.” She said and she drove away.

Daryl looked back at the house, Sophia and Mika were out on the porch now all fawning over Travis. He smiled to himself and at Carol when she walked out onto the porch.

The kids literally just met last night and were already hitting it off. They would love Rick’s son and daughter too. Carl and Judith were twins, two years younger than Travis and they lived with Rick.

Tonight could be a good night, he sure hoped so.

 

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

Travis and the girls took off as soon as they got to Rick’s house. Everyone was in the back yard which was almost as big as Carol and Abe’s yard. Tara and Michonne sat at a picnic table with Andrea and Beth. Merle and Rick were up at the grill cooking burgers and chicken.

Merle watched as Travis ran past the deck with three little blonde haired girls. They were here, it was time. He turned to Rick and handed him the grilling fork he was using.

“Be right back, I gotta go make amends.” He said.

“Godspeed my friend.” Rick said.

Merle smiled over to Andrea and she gave him a thumbs up, he had told her he planned to apologize to Carol tonight. Merle gave her a thumbs up and turned to where Carol and Daryl were. Daryl waved over to Rick as Merle approached them.

Carol launched herself into Merle’s arms as soon as he was close enough and Daryl did a double take. He didn’t see that coming, not in his wildest dreams. 

Merle hugged her back and picked her up a little bit.

Even he wasn’t expecting a hug. He really thought he might get slapped. The Carol he knew was a firecracker and from what Daryl had said that hadn’t changed.

“Hey sugar, good to see you.” He said as he let her go.

“I know it was you again.” She said and she hugged him again.

“You take good care of my brother, you hear?”

She nodded and he took her by the hand.

“Come meet my girl.”

He took Carol’s hand and led her over to where Andrea sat with Michonne, Tara and Beth.

“Andrea, this is Daryl’s girl Carol.”

“So good to meet you, Andrea.” Carol said and Andrea replied in turn.

Andrea scooted over to give her room on the bench. Carol hugged Tara, Michonne and Beth and then turned to sit.

“Come sit, I hear you do transports, I’m the night charge in the ER here.” Andrea said. “Want a job?”

“I’m taking some time off, but maybe a Per Diem once in a while might be good.” She said sitting down.

“Did you get a Georgia license?”

“Not yet, but I will.” She said.

Beth spoke up then. “I’m going to go to nursing school in the fall.”

Tara took her hand. “Well you’ll have lots of help won’t you?”

Andrea and Carol both nodded. “No worries at all Beth, we’ll miss you at the diner though.” Andrea said.

“Time for a change, time to do something with my life. Tata has been a great influence on me.”

Carol laughed. “That’s new.”

And Tara bumped her shoulder. “Stop giving away all my secrets you.”

“Hey, just stating facts, and Beth is going to be an ace student, because I’m going to make sure of it.”

“It’s so good to see the girls.” Michonne said as she watched them run by. Lizzie stopped and waved at them and Michonne blew her a kiss.

Daryl and Rick were watching all the kids running around the yard. His two, Travis and Carol’s three girls. Merle walked up behind them and leaned over the deck to see the kids.

“Makes you want some doesn’t it brother.” Daryl said to Merle.

“Fuck no, I’m happy being everyone’s uncle Merle, that’s good enough for me.” He said. 

“Come on Merle, everyone’s doing it.” Rick said. “First one’s free.”

“You all are nuts, no thanks.” He said putting his arm around Daryl. “How about you two, you both are still young enough. Another Dixon might be nice.”

“No can do, it’s up to you if you want another one of those.”

“Whatever. Didn’t expect her to hug me.”

“She does yoga now, her days of driving around like a bat out of hell and bitch slapping people are over as far as I know.”

“Just the same. I think I’ll stay on her good side.” Merle said.

“Good idea.” Rick said. 

 

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

Carol’s phone chirped and she picked it up while they were eating dinner. Everyone was around the table eating and talking. It had been a wonderful night.

It was a text from Rosita.

Ed’s here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think.


	23. 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small update. Hope you like it. :)

Daryl stood up from the table when she showed him the text. He called Travis over to where he was sitting with Carl, Judith and Carol’s girls. Travis had been telling everyone why he called Carol Nirvana Girl and Carol’s daughters all were giggling. They knew who Nirvana was because of their mother. They grew up listening to her music and it was funny to them that Travis did too.

They all had a lot in common, much more than they knew.

Daryl told Travis to keep an eye on the girls for them and that they had to go out for a while. Merle stood up too and kissed Andrea on the cheek.

“We’ll be back darling.” He said and he followed Carol and Daryl over to where the cars were parked.

Carol turned to Daryl in the truck as they got in and closed the doors.

“You don’t have to do this, I’ll be fine.”

He nodded. “Yes I do, it’s me and you now.” He kissed her softly and that was all he said as he started the truck. Merle was following in his truck behind them, just to be on the safe side.

#########

They pulled up to Carol’s house and Abe sat on the porch with a tall dark haired man. There was a red Camaro parked in the driveway. Merle pulled up next to them and wrinkled his brow as they got out of the vehicles.

“Figures, a Chevy.” Merle said as they walked up the driveway. Carol couldn’t stop herself from letting out a little giggle. “Only douchebags drive Chevy’s.”

Ed stood up and watched her as she walked up the driveway flanked by two men. He just knew she was fucking one of them, there was no good reason for her to have sent divorce papers otherwise. The fact that he was cheating and abusive didn’t occur to him at all. It never did in the past either.

He was actually surprised by this whole thing.

Abraham grunted to him as he stood up, as if to warn him to stay in line. Ed looked over at him with a pissy look on his face.

She was his wife and she was leaving with him right now.

“What the fuck Carol, what the ever loving fuck huh?” Ed said as they approached. Merle and Daryl stood on either side of her with their arms crossed watching him. “And who are these assholes?”

“My friends from before, Daryl and Merle.” She replied not giving him any other information. He totally disregarded them and turned to her.

“Can I talk to you alone Carol?” He said. “You’ve been gone ten days and all of the sudden we’re getting divorced?”

Daryl shifted from one leg to the other, trying not to show his displeasure with that idea and Ed glared at him. He was the one she was fucking, Ed knew by the way Daryl moved when he suggested talking to her alone. Her little fuck boy thought he wasn’t going to allow that. Fuck him Ed thought to himself, my wife, not yours.

“And where are my girls?” Ed said reaching for her arm, Abe was behind him in an instant. If he made one wrong move between the three men standing there he would be a dead man.

“They’re with a friend.” She replied meeting his eyes and not backing down.

“You got a lot of friends now don’t ya? Huh Carol.” He said and motioned for her to follow him over by his car. She didn’t move so he changed tactics quickly. “Let’s talk like adults ok? Promise, no problems, I swear.”

Carol nodded and followed him slowly. Abe stepped forward and Ed regarded him with disdain.

“I got things to say to my wife Abraham, she’s still my wife. “ He said it like he always did. My wife, my girls, they were his possessions and no redneck hick was taking them away. “In private.”

Carol nodded to her three protectors and noticed Rosita came out on the porch with her cell phone in her hand. In case there was trouble she was ready to call the police.

They walked to his car and she stood there waiting for what he was going to say. Abe, Daryl and Merle all stood about twenty feet away. They wanted to be close enough if Ed started anything with her.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He said.

“Nothing, I’m done.” She said.

He couldn’t believe it. She was done with him? That wasn’t how it was supposed to be, he was the one who would decide when it was done.

“Your father just died, you aren’t thinking right, Carol.” He said.

He couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that she came home to bury her father and the next week he received divorce papers.

“Why do you even care, you don’t love me.” She said. 

He stared at her, what was love any way. That was what he always said, what was love? He didn’t love her, he didn’t love anyone but himself.

But she belonged to him. She was going to be sorry for making him come down here to bring her home.

“I forgive you, you had your little fling with your hillbilly, now come home.” He said stepping closer to her. “Let’s go get the girls and go.”

He wasn’t getting it as usual. He didn’t listen to her ever when she talked and it was the same now. He didn’t want to hear it so he ignored it.

“Ed, I’m marrying him, I’m not coming back.” She said as Ed looked back at the trio of men behind them waiting to pounce. 

“Don’t be ridiculous Carol.” He waved her off. “You aren’t leaving me for some farmer.”

“He’s a mechanic.” She said quietly, now she was poking the snake. She knew it, but maybe it would get through to him. He couldn’t buy her not now and not in the past. She didn’t care about any of that, and never did.

He thought she wanted to come back because of his prestige and money, he fully expected they were all going home tonight.

His face suddenly changed and contorted into rage. “You are not leaving me for a mechanic. I will take these kids away from you. I will fuck up your whole life Carol.” 

His true colors now showing, and when he got her home he was going to teach her a lesson she would never forget. Her and those brats were going to pay for this.

He stepped closer to her putting his hands on her arms tightly and shaking her and that was it. The mechanic was on him in seconds and her brother landed a punch on his face that was years in the making.

“Don’t you touch my sister, you don’t touch her ever again.” Abe said and he rained blows down on him that put a stop to him attacking Carol.

Abe had Ed up against his car and he and Daryl were in his face. He was bleeding from a cut on his cheek from Abe’s punch.

“Move along and move on Ed.” Abe growled and Merle stood behind them ready to pounce if needed. “You know I’ll do it, so just get on your fancy car and go back where you came from before I do something I’ll regret.”

“You should but out Abe, your whore sister brought this on herself….” Ed said and he didn’t have a chance to say anything else because this punch came from Daryl and it knocked him out cold.

 

 

When Ed woke up he was surrounded by the men and Carol was on the porch with Rosita. She wasn’t going to come back near him. Abe squatted down to his eye level as he sat against his car. Daryl and Merle were close by, letting him know that they were there.

“Ok, Ed.” Abe said. “This is how it’s going down.”

Ed didn’t answer him.

“You’ll leave my sister alone, go back where you came from and not fight this divorce. She’ll let you know about visiting the kids, her lawyer will work all that out so you don’t have to bother her. If you do, the three of us are coming up there. Do you understand?”

Ed didn’t move or say a thing, how dare this motherfucker threaten him.

“Ed! Nod that you understand. You know me. I mean what I say. Nod and then leave.” He grabbed him by the front of his shirt. “Nod and leave or I’m letting him back at you.”

Abe motioned towards Daryl who was standing there glaring at him. “And I don’t like you much.” He said to Ed.

“Fuck you hick.” He said getting up. “Take her then, you want her so bad.”

He opened the car door and got in the car.

“Carol, you aren’t getting anything, I hope you’re ready to work your ass off the rest of your life because I’m not giving you a cent.” He yelled out the window as he started his car up and revved it. “Not one dime.”

 

Daryl started walking towards Carol rubbing his hand a little, he was upset with himself for what he did and he was hoping that she wasn’t going to be mad. The guy was the father of her children after all.

“I’m sorry I hit him Carol, I just lost my mind.”

She walked down the stairs and hugged him. “That’s my hot headed boyfriend. Does the name Tomas De Lauria ring any bells?”

Daryl winced at the mention of that name.

The other guy he punched out over Carol. When they were in high school. Tomas was asking Carol out every day in high school and one day in the lunch room he smacked her ass in front of Daryl in the lunch line.

Tomas got a black eye and he never bothered Carol again. Daryl had forgotten that, but Carol didn’t.

“Come on.” She said taking his hand. “Let’s go get our kids.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.


	24. 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this.  
> This is the last chapter.

I got a girl, I love to kiss.

I got a girl, I never wanna miss.

I got a girl and she’s my best friend. 

I Got a Girl----By Tripping Daisy

Carol’s divorce went through without a hitch three months later and she didn’t have to travel except for the final hearing in Philadelphia. Ed never showed up to court so Carol got what she was asking for in the judgement. The house on Long Beach Island, in a town called Surf City in New Jersey was all she asked for and she was granted it, fully paid off.

Ed could see the girls whenever he wanted, but he hadn’t tried to see them at all. Carol didn’t know where he was, but the girl didn’t mention him.

Maybe he was afraid of Daryl, Abe and Merle, or just busy working, either way she counted it as a blessing. If he pursued seeing them, she would cross that bridge when the time came.

But not now, not when there was so much happiness, finally in their lives.

They had Daryl, their Uncle Abe and Travis to fill their world with giggles and good times. They didn’t miss their father.

She and Daryl took the kids there to the house on the beach for two weeks after the divorce was final. The rented surfboards from a nice young man named Mike at the Ron Jon Surf Shop there and Carol finally taught Daryl how to surf.

Just like she promised so long ago.

It was August now, and New Jersey was sweltering and full of tourists, and traffic but they didn’t care. This was the first of many family trips they had planned, the drive wasn’t so bad to and from New Jersey, twelve hours or so. They talked about coming back as soon as possible and Carol couldn’t resist teasing him just a little about that one drive she made.

The drive she made listening to her playlist of doom.

Now they were here together, like it was supposed to be.

Together with their four children they spent two weeks getting to know each other and making a family and some wonderful memories. Abe and Rosita came and laid on the beach outside the back door from morning to night. Abe had no interest in surfing, never did. That was his sister’s gig. He preferred just lying on the beach and Rosita was all about that, having never been to the beach before.

She would come back anytime he wanted to.

They got along wonderfully with Carol’s friends from New Jersey Sasha and Bob who came down twice with their two daughters. 

Sasha hugged her tight when she saw her and remarked that she had never seen her happier. Sasha would know, she had known her all through her marriage to Ed.

Then she turned to Daryl and smiled. “I know who you are.”

He nodded and she hugged him, which caught him off guard. “You take care of my friend, you hear me?”

“Always.” He answered and that was good enough for Sasha.

 

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

Travis watched his sisters like a hawk on the beach as he watched his father and Carol wipe out in the water more times than they actually stood up on the boards. But they were having fun and finally it came back to her and she rode the waves like she was fifteen again.

She felt fifteen again when she was with him. 

The year she moved to Georgia, went to a party and set in motion a love that would never leave her. He was with her now like they always talked about. It just took a little while that was all.

The best things are worth waiting for.

The second week Tara and Michonne drove up too and spent a weekend with Carol going through all the shops on the island and eating at the local place Carol had raved about called The Chegg, short for The Chicken or the Egg. 

The best food on the island according to Carol and they had to agree. The Buffalo wings were to die for. This beach town was soon everyone’s favorite and plans were made for another trip in the fall.

Glenn and Maggie would come on that trip, because it was going to be a celebration.

 

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

Travis and the girls sat on the front porch waiting for Carol to come outside. They were playing word games in a puzzle book together and they all sat around him like he was their god or something. Just a big brother to look up to, but he ate it up with a spoon.

Tara and Michonne were inside with her helping her get ready and it was taking too long. Daryl stood off in the distance at the foot of the stairs smoking a cigarette. Merle and Abe stood with him each smoking a cigar. There was not much talking going on. It was eerily quiet.

It was September 27th and Carol had been divorced six weeks.

Travis excused himself from the girls and walked over to his father. They were both dressed in suits that matched, dark color with gray ties. Abraham and Merle were dressed the same as well, and they were a handsome group of men. 

Carol, Tara and Michonne came out the door followed by Rosita. They all had on dresses of different colors and Carol held flowers tied in a simple string.

“You nervous?” Travis said to him.

“Naw.” Daryl said looking over at him and Travis was just about to call bullshit when he saw her coming outside. Dressed in a beautiful blue dress with spaghetti straps and a short tulle skirt. 

“You are so full of shit.” Travis said walking back towards the porch, he turned back to his father and smiled. “Come on, everyone’s waiting, I hear this wedding has been a long time in the making.”

 

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did writing it, it was a true labor of love because it’s based on my life. The playlist of doom was real. The drive to the garage that ended so badly, very real. I am mother to five children his and mine. We are married seven years. He makes me listen to Johnny Cash and I make him listen to grunge and Jimmy Eat World. Travis is real and I am proud to be his step mother. This is my love letter to my husband.
> 
> Let me know what you think. :)

**Author's Note:**

> As always thank you for reading.


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